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NEW POST: what make you happy?  read and share.



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I WAS LATE THOU *covers face*


This purple organza lace, is an ASO-EBI well i bought this one because it was one of my sweet client’s wedding, the peplum top is a by-product of the wedding dress (post pictures later) M’ADE designed for her. *money no fit waste* since i missed the wedding, i hope wearing it now isnt too late.

The peplum top is available for order thou *wink*

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My personality

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For Two Bits Tuesday:  B A L A N C E

Barka Jumah People,

Yesterday after work, i was bored and alone , nothing to do and nothing to write, i surfed the internet especially twitter, i stumbled into @exschoolnerd’s TL and something struck my mind. she was worried about what to tell people who ask; “who are you?” usually i also dont know how to answer that question. she finally found hers with a link and i checked.

on getting to i was wowed, i took my own personality test, very different from the one i did in year three (WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO). Its very exciting and impressive considering i had a lonr-heart-breaking weekend.

It’s so refreshing considering the kind of people I share personality with, in all honesty i didnt cheat because I have longed been in the shadow of myself rather than mirror image.


Representing approximately 5 percent of all people, people with the ENFJ personality type are great leaders, distinguished by the unshakable faith that others want to follow them. Usually this is exactly what happens as the main trait of the ENFJ personality type is their extraordinary charisma. ENFJs also greatly appreciate the cooperation and assistance of other people and are eager to offer their own cooperation wherever possible.

ENFJs pay a lot of attention the needs of other people and often believe they are responsible for other people’s emotions – this behaviour can even complicate their relationships if the ENFJ is not careful. This

personality type radiates leadership qualities, such as concern and willingness to help, so those who need support often turn to the ENFJ – and usually receive the help and guidance they need. However, this kind nature can sometimes turn against the ENFJ once they become overloaded with requests for assistance – ENFJ personality types feel great discomfort and guilt if they are forced to refuse requests of this nature.

ENFJ are especially vulnerable due to their tendency to idealise interpersonal relations. It is nearly impossible to meet such standards and ENFJ friends may feel inferior knowing that they cannot achieve that ideal. On the other hand, expecting the best can be considered one of the most important leadership traits – and even though ENFJ may be somewhat idealistic (thanks to the NF combination), they are also very tolerant, uncritical and truly reliable people.

Barack Obama ENFJENFJs enjoy communicating with others and consider this an essential personality trait. As a result, ENFJs often get very surprised or even offended when they learn that not everybody (e.g. strong introvert types) shares this attitude. However, this rarely happens, as ENFJs are talented and highly intuitive speakers, very adept at communicating face to face. Naturally, someone with the ENFJ personality type is likely to have a great impact on people, as they are eager to express their opinion, no matter how large the group is.

This personality type has an unusual ability to recognise and “translate” other people’s feelings, “absorbing” their characteristic traits, emotions and value systems. This is a very potent gift, but it is also dangerous, as the ENFJ can sometimes unwittingly take on other people’s problems, as if they were their own. ENFJ personality traits also tend to award this type with amazing imitation skills.

ENFJs should take advantage of their strong intuition as it is one of their strongest personality traits, but it is advisable to consult a friend with a dominant T trait when it comes to making logical or long-term decisions. On the other hand, ENFJ personalities can easily make decisions based on their feelings – they are usually able to recognize other people’s motives, hidden or not, with amazing accuracy.

ENFJs are quick learners, able to instantly recognise the big picture in many situations. In addition, they are great entrepreneurs who can easily cope with numerous responsibilities or projects – this is likely to result in many fruitful opportunities.

Anyways, I’m blushing and after a long “hard, heart-breaking” filled week I’m feeling fly that I share same personalities with great people like: Barack Obama,David, King of Israel, Abraham Lincoln, former U.S. president, Ronald Reagan, former U.S. president, William Cullen Bryant; poet, Abraham Maslow; psychologist, Francois Mitterrand, former French president, Dennis Hopper, Brenda Vaccaro,Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Matthew McConaughey, Ben Affleck, actor (my crush).

YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TEST TOO, IT REALLY HELPS IDENTIFY YOUR INNER SELF AND IT IS RECOGNISED BY MBTI. I would love for you to share your personalities in the comment box and for the few that know me, let them like or comment how true this is about me. 😀


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Details – side wrap to conceal excesses on the middle area of the body.

This style is simple and chick, and the dress is one of my coperate-chick collections. more to come on this space.

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HOW FAR have i gone?…


By the way earlier today I updated one of my old posts and sent out.. check it here. followig yesterdays’ post. no one can break a smashed heart. what is left of it are fibres ad atries, if theres someone out there trying to reap that out, it should be “DEATH” itself. 😀

i made mention of revealing my 2012 goals and revolution I set in december last year and for US to see how far I have gone.

here… in no particular order

  1. Stay closer to GOD.
  2. Learn to be patient and optimistic.
  3. Push LC forward – Build a website for LC.
  4. Get promoted at work.
  5. Get myself a defined relationship.
  6. Create my blog with atleast one article weekly.
  7. Establish a standard resume.
  8. Increase my network of contacts.
  9. Become more responsible.
  10. Learn to complete my ramdan sessions – Pilgrim to saudi.
  11. No more odd hour parties.
  12. Complete one of my books.

Truth be told, i didnt have to look at a book every month to achieve these goals but they were just twelve plus others registered in my mind as to what and what would make me fulfilled this year 2012 it’s few days till the end of 2012 and i do not think I have done enough. please grade.

  • Stay closer to GOD.

This is marked half way because sincerely, i am better than 2010 and 2011 when talking about being closer to GOD but as you see, im not close enough. sometimes I am even too afraid to ask from him because I have done little or less in creating a bond with him.

  • Learn to be patient and optimistic.

I have  always been optimistic and entutiastic but patience, hmmm it has been difficult but thanks to writing, its helped me so much that what anger and passion i have to pour out, i do it right here on wordpress and my wonderful readers and followers on twitter are just good to go.

  • Push LC forward – Build a website for LC.

This i have proudly crossed. for the new-bees M’ADE used to be LC (LAHYOH COUTURE) but as i evolved being the motive of existence i realised the name couldn’t cart i have to offer and avoiding several mini brands why not put them all under one umbrella (not PDP tho) this gracious umbrella is called M’ADE. M’ADE is definately my greatest achievement this year would continue to top the list until i have sons and adopted kids. lol. as for the website aspect. dont worry before 31/12/12 it’ll be ready. 😀 drum rolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Get promoted at work.

Adjusts my collar and re-touch my IMAN powder, pouting and posing for camera and several executive handshakes, I proudly say: i am no more the front desk person / secretary, gradually moi CV is making sense. you know i always crave being a front desk officer, well after six months into it, i wanted more. more than just recieving and delivering, i wanted to make impact and have a defined Working experience. i didnt have to go too far, God willing there was an open space in the next office… Human Resource department was empty, a colleague had just resigned and i was suppose to post an ad for a new one when my boss walked in.

boss: M’ade see me now

me: ooo! im enjoying this movie jo *in my head sha*

boss: erm, you know our HRM left on monday abi?

me: nods in disbelieve

boss: the management thinks we need someone immediately  thats why you were requested to post an ad but looking at you and your enterpreneual skills, you are smart, very deligent and goal driven. we decided that you should act for a while pending your time here as a corps member.

me: jaw drops*

boss: what? you cant do it?

me: i can do anything but im not experienced you know?

boss: you see, i know you are capable thats why. dont worry as for the inexperience part, we will get you a professional you can assist when we fully employ you.

me: thinks* fully employ? erm i though i was starting up a business after NYSC O.

speaks* okay boss, just tell me what to do.

Anyways, thats the small dramma behind my getting promoted o, and since the end of NYSC i have been appointed the assisatnt HRM where i work. Its been an amazing tears breaking experience. will gist ya’ll later.

  • Get myself a defined relationship.

Lets just act as if we didnt see this one. you know how it is na. Gal is too busy for this one *covers face*

  • Create my blog with atleast one article weekly.

Ya’ll be the judge of this, with over a hundred and fifty posts in ten months i am more than sure this is achieved but DO YOU ENJOY IT?

  • Establish a standard resume.

I will someday soon post a copy of my resume and CV for you all to see, im no jobberman or CV editor but my boss has helped with the designing and re arrangement and as an HR person i see a lot of good, bad and ugly CVs everyday. mine is more than standard.

  • Increase my network of contacts.

Even though i have not met the president of Nigeria or even Obama, i have small tiny confidence that the small people i have met can do wonders in life, i am yet to post my 30secs moment with dangote, i will soon. in numbers i have met over a hundred top executives, over 500 enterpreneurs and many jagbajantis followers on twitter that make my life fun, facebook? lets not just go there and during the PROJECT I’M MADE i met a couple of people who have impacted in my life. and before i forget those wonderful kids i and many young change agents mentored, their parents. i even had one fix my door recently for free because his kid was one of them, you see? life is give and take.One saturday i was going to shop for vegetables and i got free carrot from one of the market women who recognised me during the project. i might not know the rich people o, but i got free vegetables every weekend, i will be fresher than all of you (in DAVIDO’s voice).

  • Become more responsible and make impact.

I have always been responsible *rme* but i liked free bees. i still do but now, me sef i pay bills, i don get bukata. I have responsibilities at the end of the month, i have responsible for the growth of my community, I am responsible for the welfare of about fourty staffs where i work and many other virtual intending employees. I am responsible for my self, my business and my family. in fact, i am feeling fly (in areske’s voice). I am not just responsible, I am a responsible lady. When you see ME, you gotta respect me o.

  • Learn to complete my ramdan sessions – Pilgrim to saudi.

😦 I’m not entirely happy about this thou, even I completed ramadan and all but many things are still not in place and i’m sorry for not breaking my record and dissapointing those that look up to me. but most especially God almighty, i promise to be better next year. well as for Hajj mehn, i got online and realise it takes a fortune to go for hajj o and I was earning just 30k per month *covers face* let’s hope for 2013  sha… I must go o and driver AVENZA when I get back. *smiles*

  • No more odd hour parties.

Oya protest this one if you ever saw me in a night party this year. I’m now a good girl o. Night clubbing days are so over and I miss my girls but I deduced a much better way to party hard. lets see sha. I will invite all of you (my readers and followers).

  • Complete one of my books.

Anything can still happen, I am half way into it and because i gbagaun alot, my parents wasted money on the fake english teacher they got me, it slowed me down. stop blaming! its my fault and I’m responsible for this failure and I hope to finish and publish it soon. ISA

SO, all of you that always make my head swell saying I am the perfect girlfriend and sister and everything, you see I’m not even close to being one, I am a work in progress. This post is meant to make people understand that setting goals helps you succeed better and measuring how far you have gone helps you break record. Remember Usain Bolt, he’s such a genius and role model, why? because he breaks self-records.

…i compete with no one but my self…

peace out!!!

Broken Hearts Never Mend…


Vanishing Broken Heart…
I’ve been wondering of late at what point the human heart shuts down, and emotions end? When does your heart say, “Look I’ve had enough. I’m tired of being betrayed, stabbed in the back, left to slowly bleed out. I’m done. I have no more to give. To anyone. Leave me alone.”

What pushes it to that point? Where it’s walls are so thick and so high and so immovable that nothing can get through. Where it’s turned to stone. Indifferent and cold. How many darts can be hurled at it from all types of sources? How many knives twisting to the core? How many times can it be shattered, abandoned, stabbed, disappointed, emptied and left for dead before it simply vanishes?

And then what?

What happens when it’s a lump of gannet in your chest? Does it ever go back to pliable sand? What would motivate it to care? And why after years of friends, family, lovers, trying to drain the life out of it, why would it ever want to?


Broken hearts never mend. They may put a turnikate on and keep functioning. They may even close the gaping wound over time. But they never really, fully mend. The scars are there. And after a while scars upon scars turn to cartilage (I’m no doctor, but even I know that!)… and cartilage becomes so think and unflexible that it causes it’s own pain in addition to the pain it’s covering up.


It’s a very real fear I have. The past few years have taken their tole on my heart from every angle. I believe that in life you get what you give… which leaves me as the common denominator, I’m smart enough to figure that out. But I look at the ones who’ve thrown daggers in the front and back of my heart the past few years including my immediate family, and all the ones I’ve put myself out there for and loved only to be betrayed in the end… and I ask myself the very serious question…What the fuck?

In each case circumstances vary. Family is definitely different than lovers, and friends obviously. But all I can think is, how can someone who’s professed their love for you turn their back so quickly? To steel a line from Katy Perry“spit me out like I was poison in your mouth”. It’s a valid question. I can’t think of anyone in my lifetime that I have treated that way. Where one day I was on their side, and in their corner and the next I was throwing them under the bus. Standing by to watch it crush them with a satisfied smirk on my face. I just don’t have that in me. I’m full of flaws, obviously. But I could never be cold and malicious like that. I can’t get my head around how many people are that way though. Why are they always the ones I wind up trusting? When will my dumbass learn?
I don’t want to give up on whats good and beautiful in life. I don’t want to close my heart to the opportunity of how amazing love can be, but at what point does that stop being my choice? I don’t want to wake up one day ten years from now and realize that it happened long ago. I know I can control it, but that takes the desire and will to rise above yet again… and I’m just so tired.

if killing wasnt a sin!!!!!!!!! hmmm…. just if!


I now pronounce you…


ImageNow Pronounce You…Absolutely Annoying!


Thanks to the timely uploads on Facebook and other media, I feel like I have attended many more weddings than those I was physically present at. Having acknowledged that the marriage is far more important than the wedding details, allow me to share five wedding trends that I now pronounce absolutely annoying.


1) The Bolero Jacket


Basically, the bolero jacket is meant to flatter one’s shape. The perfect fit of the rounded front corners should make the waist appear smaller. I’m sure whoever reintroduced this jacket to the fashion runways had good intentions. But oh no! Many brides have reinvented the purpose-driven life of the bolero. With little regard to the fit, the jacket’s primary function is now to hide ‘immodest’ strapless wedding dresses from judgmental frowns at the wedding ceremony.

Ill-fitted boleros have quickly become the No. 1 bridal wardrobe mishap and they can take you from looking like Grace Kelly to looking like Lady Gaga in a heartbeat. Some are almost A-lined and others are just downright unpleasant to behold. Please. Don’t give a lecture on what brides can or cannot afford. Iya Yusuf can do a great job and even attach a Vera Wang tag for you at no extra charge. Note that all Iya Yisuf’s are not equal. On the other hand, there are other options beyond strapless dresses. So many other great wedding dress styles can admirably embrace your curves, hide your physical insecurities and eliminate the need for that increasingly misinterpreted jacket.

If you must wear one, at least make sure it fits perfectly, and that the color and fabric blend well with the rest of your wardrobe. Bridesmaids take note too!


2) “Cash Only Gifts”

When couples insist on not receiving wedding gifts, my first thought is that they live in a country different from where the wedding is taking place. I get that. The breaking point is when couples go the extra mile to directly request ‘cash only’ gifts. Are they totally kidding? So if I planned to give them a set of ‘tumblers’ valued at N1000 (about $6.20) or thereabout, can I send them the money instead or will I become their favorite ‘weird-wedding-moment’ topic? Will they wonder if I think they are suffering? No, I do not think they are struggling. However, I do think they might send all sorts of wrong and confusing signals to their invited guests, especially those unrelated to Dangote like me. 

Dear couples, instead of making a formal and direct request for “cash gifts only”, rephrase those words to something like, “No large gifts items please”. In other words, you are not only giving your guests a lead on what you don’t want, but also giving them the flexibility to choose from a variety of other gift options. You can only hope your invitees will read in between the lines. However, be more open with your close family members and friends. They will indisputably understand.

Although I think couples can use monetary gifts as they deem fit -whether to pay off pending bills to wedding vendors or to make a down payment on their dream vacation- making a direct request for it is just downright tacky.


3) Clueless Aso-ebi Buyers


It is so funny how often people complain about outrageous aso-ebi price points, like i did in one of my posts. Yet, they buy the “hespensif” fabrics plus gele, sew their glamorous styles, come to the wedding and just sit down throughout the party with half of their costly fabric tucked under the table. These are the clueless aso-ebi buyers and over fifty percent of their party time is either spent staring at other guests or posing to be gazed upon. They are the clear victims of societal expectations and trends.

Get up! Dance with the couple!

Be part of the wedding fun!

Another set, are those who don’t even know the said couples, they were not even invited, some have taken advantage of Iya Yusuf’s great talent of mixing fabric with raw silk and satin to make it glamorous by taking the one and half yards left of the bride’s sister or taking one yard each from all the corners of the family, just to attend the wedding set to hold at Eko hotels and suits since they didn’t get to attend one of those award nights at this same venue. This one I experienced at the time Funke Akindele was planning her wedding, a friend of a friend claimed she once dated her brother but couldn’t get the Aso ebi because she was out of Lagos, you know Aso ebi in Nigeria is automatic IV-cards so the struggle to get one is crazy! Apparently, she got two yards from two of us and attending a wedding she had no clue about.

Please and please atleast try go with someone familiar, if you have to forcefully go. Hian!


4) Carrying the Bride

I’m yet to understand the logical relevance of those pictures of the grooms men carry the bride – with or without the groom. The groom is strategically positioned to brace her bust line or under arms, while the groomsmen hold on to strange parts of her body. Why even bother with this picture pose? It has so much potential to turn into a complete disaster. If she as much as slips, the groom looses five points off his perfect score for dropping his gem and another five points off for recruiting grooms men without sufficient six packs.

Ok…ok…with that many grooms men, she is less likely to fall. But still, this picture really doesn’t make or break a wedding album. I’m sure your single grooms men would rather be exchanging digits with some single sisters, instead of lifting the heaviness of a taken woman, especially the pregnant brides! Gosh! The look is *shakes head*

However, if you have always visualized this particular picture in your wedding album, I mean if you absolutely must, kindly pay close attention to the unspoken weight limit here. Be considerate.


5) Reserved Seats

A friend and I arrived over two hours late to some wedding reception and were happy we could seat at any of the empty tables we immediately spotted. At a closer glance, we noticed all those tables had ‘RESERVED’ cards on them. About eight tables! Now let me clarify some things here: 

(a) this was not an ‘Invitation Only’ event where the vacant seats could be explained by pre-designated sitting arrangements. 

(b) We were very late. In other words, the ceremony had been on for a while.

After a lady offered us seats at her table, I repeatedly glanced over at the reserved tables, waiting for the ‘important’ guests to arrive and desecrate the untouched dinner plate settings.

Iró ni o. An hour and a half later, those seats remained empty as we were leaving.

Most of these unspecified tables are reserved for people who end up sitting at other tables because they are uninformed of their reserved seats. So, unless you have specific invitees ushered to those sacred tables, this event planning/wedding tactic holds little sense.

Phew, that’s a wrap. 


Other eye-rolling trends include White Tuxedos, Cash Bars where guests pay for their own alcoholic beverages at the wedding; and those very environmentally-unfriendly Plastic Souvenirs that every Nigerian home has an ample supply of. 

  And then we have those (albeit useful) Gift Bags plastered with the couple’s picture. Some weeks back, I used one of such as my work lunch pouch. After work one day, the company director of another company in my building and I were on the staircase talking when he suddenly asked, “so what happened to them?” pointing to my lunch bag.

I happily responded, “Oh they got married!”

He blandly replied, “Interesting, but it looks more like they both passed on.”

I guess he didn’t see the ‘Conjugal Bliss’ printed at the far bottom.


Blind he must be…..I Now Pronounce You…Absolutely Annoying!

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