Father, Dadddy or Both?

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Good morning Blog-ville, how was the weekend?

I really should have posted this yesterday but i got so occupied, am so sorry.

Yesterday, June 17th,2012 was father’s day; HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.

It was a calling for me and many others as i noticed through their updates, tweets, Facebook messages and numerous broadcasts, i almost called my father or at least text him but then my ego or lets say pride wont let me, don’t blame me i learnt that from him. i love my father, no doubt, i miss him so much but not enough to let go of my ego, he though me that too. (karma.. lol)

Back to the topic, father-daddy-both; which are you? which do you have? which will you be? which will you have?

A father: is defined as the male parent or individual progenitor of human offspring

To father: a verb is to procreate or to sire a child from which also derives the gerund fathering.

Traditionally, fathers act in a protective, supportive and responsible way towards their children. Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by their doing so. Active father figures may play a role in reducing behavior and psychological problems in young men and women. An increased amount of father–child involvement may help increase a child’s social stability, educational achievement, and their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult.

The above concluding that a father’s role is very important in a child’s life.

prayers for those who lost theirs and kudos to those who took their place.

Daddy is an affectionate, familiar term, form of direct address, or nickname for a father.

DADDY IS THE RESPONSIBLE, PROTECTIVE AND SUPPORTIVE ROLE OF A FATHER

This is where i am going, being a father doesn’t necessarily mean your are a daddy and vice vars a, usually there’s a misconception but truly a daddy is more daring, desiring and chilling than a father, a father sounds and is more forceful, like the only reason is to bring you to the world, of course anyone can be a father (if fertile or potent) but not everyone is or will be a daddy (be it fertile or potent) fatherhood entails the role of daddy-hood but most men have lost this in the trance of worldly views and ego.

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special mind to be a daddy- m’ade

A lot of fathers have become irresponsible and nonchalant, usually from hate of mother or just the natural sense of not caring, leaving their roles for another man or mostly the woman to handle forgetting the above said of how a child’s life is dependent on how he/she is being raised and believing that no matter what the child would home to them, contrary to this assumptions or believe many of them are at the loosing end, leaving child to waste away or having them struggle, molested by the new father or even being robed.

A father doesn’t always have to be there as we have late-father, absent-father, sperm donor, baby-daddy as the case maybe. A father’s love should be genuine and always forthcoming, there should be full sense of responsibility and remorse when he cant meet up, a father should be aware and current of the child’s situation. All these are and more are what qualifies him as a daddy.

A good father would not manage a company and let it crumble or govern a state with a heartless mind, let alone president a black country with black days and night, watch the video Michelle Obama made for Obama yesterday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz28tO2IIeM

All these starts from now, all the uncaring, nonchalant and heart act of treating people, handling situations and answering questions leads to the father in you, the father you will be and the father you possess. This is not one sided, this goes to both male and female.

You cannot and shouldn’t hate a child because of the mother, don’t marry someone you don’t want to see a child in, do not bring to this cruel world a child you will not be responsible for, because it is even a sin to be irresponsible, whatever becomes of your child, good or bad, you shall be accountable for by the almighty.

when a father gives to his son, both laugh, when a son to his father, both cry – William Shakespeare

It is a wise father who knows his child.  But maybe it’s a very wise child who takes time to know his father – Anonymous

A wise son maketh a glad father- Proverbs 10:1

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence -Budington Kelland

The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7 

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.  ~Author Unknown

These are the Muslim men I want my son to grow up to be like, and for your sons to grow up to be like — full of love, wit, compassion and generosity, with a deep respect for women, and a commitment to serving God by serving humanity.

As a Muslim father, I must shoulder an enormous responsibility, both fiscal and religious, and this responsibility is first encountered before I even have any children at all.-Hesham A. Hassaballa

Failing to provide for the children after divorce will not only get a Muslim father in trouble with the authorities, but he will also get into very big trouble with God Almighty.Hesham A. Hassaballa

lastly:
“All of you are shepherds, and you are all responsible for your flocks. The father in his home is a shepherd, and he is responsible for his flock…” The word in Arabic for “responsible” is mas’ul. This word also means “that about which one will be asked.” Thus, the tradition can also be translated as, “The father in his home is a shepherd, and he will be asked by God about his flock.”

my evolution

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I thank GOD  Almighty for keeping you and i till this day 24-o5-12. from the day i was born 24-05-90 at exactly 12:24:05, my doctor has said i was a special breed.

I thank everyone that took there time to wish me a happy birthday, i thank all those that sent messages, and posts, all the funny pictures of me and all the prayers, i just cant say thank you enough but if 200 and counting are repping me on their display pictures and my twitter mentions is over 300 with the uncountable Facebook posts and net logs and the likes. i thank NOKIA for sending me a special birthday song and every other organizations that started my day.

i just feel i owe you more;

please do not laugh

i was just a day old

the day after my birth..

22years later

22 years later

i was named

i was named: Maryam Funmilayo Ajoke Morenikeji Olajumoke Adelaja Oluwapamilerinayo Olamiposinuoluwa ADEBOLA

and my names survive

smiles

and i clocked 2 in a red dress :

i was 3 and that’s my wonderful daddy

on my 4th birthday with my lil sis and mu

clocked 5 in a denim with my bf 😀

i rocked denim yesterday in memory of my 5th birthday. lol

another birthday in red 😀

THE FACE CAP IS BEEN WAY BACK 😀

ONE OF THE 2 BIRTHDAYS I EVER CELEBRATED..

and then i graduated………

currently serving my green country

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, i am 22 years old and i cannot in any way explain the epitome of joy in my heart but hopefully when i settle, i can.

God bless you my special friend, for the fireworks you put off at 5am this morning having driven all the way from IKEJA to my house on the island, Gosh! that was awesome! i just hope you took a picture.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone else for the gifts i have received ( will post pictures later). SEE Y’ALL AT MY EXCLUSIVE PARTY!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

What is happiness?

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I am currently in the sky (yes I love this place) and I just had the most delicious cake meal and I am now starting on different projects. An older couple (probably early 70’s) is sitting in comfy chairs across from me. and yes being in love doesn’t mean you are happy or vice versa. The woman is doing stuff on her Ipad and the man is flipping through a magazine. They have been chatting back and forth about random things, travel plans, etc. What I noticed was that even during the times they weren’t talking the man had his arm stretched to grasp onto his wife’s hand and was rubbing the inside of her palm with his thumb. I have stated before my take on love and I really don’t think that many people get to experience what true love is. I get a vibe though that this couple is experiencing love-not experienced but experiencing. They seem to be the best of friends and just their actions show such an ease with each other. I know that I don’t know anything about their lives but from this small glance it would appear that they have achieved happiness in their lives. They are enjoying their journey and they are lucky to have found a companion to share the journey with.

I started to ponder the thought, concept, idea and feeling of happiness in this moment. Happiness is one of those words that does not have a set definition. Webster’s dictionary may disagree but I am going to stick to what I believe. Happiness is a feeling. It is a feeling that you can have in a mere moment or you can hold onto for hours and days and weeks and years. Happiness is something you choose. I think about my happiness. The last guy I dated and I were laying in my bed one night and we were just talking about all kinds of things. We started discussing happiness and he told me he didn’t want me to tell him that he made me happy. I was shocked and so confused. What he meant was…he wanted me to embrace my own happiness and realize that it is all mine. No one else can make you happy. You make yourself happy through your choices and your journey. I wanted to tell him a million times that he made me happy but then I realized that I needed to rephrase it. I would tell him that being with him made me feel happy. since having someone makes me happy. It may seem like an odd concept to some but it makes perfect sense to me because in truth I own my happiness completely because being happy is my choice., no one else’s.

I have decided to start a personal list of those things that make me feel happiness. The list could be endless but I will spare my readers too many words. I want to do this so people are able to reflect on their own lives and think about what makes them happy. I want people to think that happiness really is a choice. Even in troubling times you are able to make yourself happy if that is what you really want. You can allow yourself to see the silver lining even if it seems to be hidden behind dark, black clouds. There is a lot of chaos and heartbreak that surrounds us in the world and I think that we need these things to think about sometimes. I try to keep an upbeat tone in my writings as much as I can so people are able to (hopefully) let their problems go for even a moment and reflect on their lives and see what they are blessed with. I, sometimes, take my life for granted and I need time to ground myself and think about what makes me happy and what I am thankful for. Happiness surrounds me every day.

Happiness is:

1) Watching a sitcom and laughing until you have tears on your face

2) Watching an old couple (very obviously) in love

3) Having an amazing conversation with a friend-feeling like this conversation has changed you and has made you see and understand the other person better.

4) Watching the curiosity and wonder in a child’s face.

5) A true and genuine hug from someone you really care about.

6) having cold drink after a long walk in the sun

7) A delicious hot coffee on a cold day.

8) The most delicious piece of  cake.

9) Having friends in your life that you can have serious moments with but can also laugh for hours with (I like to call this achieving hanger face-you can’t stop smiling and it looks like you have a hanger stuck in your mouth).

10) Seeing/Learning a different perspective

11) Loving yourself unconditionally.

12) Receiving an unexpected compliment that turns your whole day around.

13) People complimenting you efforts

14) Accomplishing a goal that you thought was impossible.

15) Meeting someone new that you immediately feel comfortable with and know you want to spend more time with.

16) Embracing the things you love and running with them-mine would be writing and creating.

17) Paying a complete stranger a compliment because you want others to feel good.

18) Trying something completely new and different-Going outside of your comfort zone. mine would be staying out late

19) Hanging with friends/family beside a river

20) Not having to rely on money-Finding plenty of things to do on a very limited budget and still have a blast.

21) Art/photography that moves you.

22) Listening to your favorite song/a song that you would swear was written for or about you.

23) Learning about something new that you never thought would interest you and actually really enjoying it.

24) Offering someone help when they need it.  the other i helped put a party together and i found happiness making others happy. Acts of kindness and paying it forward can go a really long way.

25) Have a child run and jump into your arms because they are so excited to see you.

26) collecting your salary and not having to pay any debt or bills.

27) is tweeting non- stop

28) being stucked with your blackberry because pings are coming from almost all your contacts

29) going to bed with anticipation of seeing someone special

30) is getting a ring on that tiny finger in a way you never imagined

For my readers, I know I am like a broken record, but these are the moments to cherish. Life can sometimes get us so caught up that we forget what is truly important. I ask of you to take a moment to look at what you have done lately. Have you helped someone? Have you paid someone an unexpected, genuine compliment? Have you lent your ear because you know someone needed it? I truly believe when you do these things that you will understand what true happiness is. Happiness is something we feel within but it comes from all of the things outside of us. Happiness can be found around every corner and one tiny thing can bring you an abundance of happiness. I hope you take the time to find your own happiness as well as become a part of helping others find theirs.

what really makes you this happy?