Aisha n Josh ~ episode 10

2 Comments


I was dumbfounded, I looked up to God and asked him WHY? Am not worried, no one should. There’s too much already to handle; the scars, the stigma, the change, rejection, fear and lost of hope. I was only 23, I had my masters waiting for me in Cyprus. I had promised my mum I would make her proud but Alas, I can’t do any of these anymore.
If only I had gone straight to the conference and never branched Josh‘s house, maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t be here today. Just maybe!
I had to be strong. My life has taken a sudden turn, I knew my mum wouldn’t support abortion but I had to try. She was quiet the whole time, I was afraid of what she’ll utter next. She’s never been this quiet or sober. Even when dad died, she spoke her mind and consoled me. But today, she was just staring into space, no tears, no words.

This silence raised my fears and I just wanted to run away. I wish I knew about the pregnancy myself and just got rid of it before anyone found out. The worst had happened to me in 6weeks, nothing can hurt more. My stitches were still healing, I still had minor TBI and I was still afraid of guys in groups. “I don’t know where to start from”. Finally, she spoke! She cursed! She cried! She swore on the day she had me and said, whoever did this to me would know no peace. She yelled and all her anger was all out at once. I could feel it in my body, how every fibre of my being wanted to crush Josh. Since the incident, she hadn’t said anything about Josh (guess she was just trying to make me happy and not make me think thoughts).

Dr Olu left us to have our family time. My aunt was out with her husband to get fresh air. I presumed they knew before agreeing to welcome me to their home. For the first time, my mum turned red on me, she shouted at me and blamed me for bringing her to this point, embracing her with my attitude and mistakes. Making it known to me how much she is trying not to blame me and help me because of my TBI but the reality remains. I have kept too much secrets and that’s why I’m in this dark maze. She said everything and I appreciated it. In fact I felt more relieved at this, than the silence. I hate quiet people, they scare me and they scare me even now more than ever.
Josh is very out going and much more of an extrovert but he’ll never tell you what he is planning or up to and that’s why it was easy for him to keep so much away from me and I didn’t even notice. Now I’m left all alone. Josh is half way across the world, I can’t even reach him. Its only wise we agree fast and abort the pregnancy. I believe God would forgive us(me). My mum broke the silence again; “so what do you want”?
Me: Abortion! I exclaimed.
Mum: What? Have you had one before?
Me: No, No, No. I just think its the best option.

She obviously was not in support, she must have given it some thought but never expected me to say it or even think about it. We had a really long silence until my aunt came in to remind us Lagos is a long drive and it was getting late. Xxxxx my hospital room, the nurses, the caterers, and especially Doctor Olu. He practically saved my life. I had a lot of cards and friends. Walking through my therapy hall (dialysis and chemo) was awesome, but tears dropped. A lot of these people I met, some died, others I’m leaving here, who am I to choose my own fate? Who am I to question God? Who am to kill an innocent soul?. But who am I not to demand a better life??.

Dear M’ADE readers, please what would you advice? Do I keep it and hope it’s Josh’, or do I keep it and leave in the mystery of finding the rapist and then identify the father of my unborn child long after its born? Or do I get rid of it and start afresh??? Please help me! My mum and I are confused!
….

AISHA n JOSH episode 4

6 Comments


The Question got me confused. I looked down, Josh‘s lamentation raced through my head. He had complained about how his mum just hates Muslims. He was perplexed; her reasons for such hate were best known to her. I was a bit stunned by the question, completely unprepared for it, Josh seemed prepared so he answered her with a church name I had never heard of. Her face lit up with such a wide smile, one would wonder if she were the one getting engaged. I entered into her outstretched arms and took the warm embrace, still wondering what was happening

She spoke to me like I was her dream daughter-In-Law, I should have been so pleased by the delight in her voice and the excitement as she spoke but I all but resembled her that dream daughter-in-law her son had been telling her about.  Josh had lied about me. I wondered within me which of the emotions I felt was stronger; shame or anger. I couldn’t wait to leave their house and scream out all within me that was bottled up. she was obviously happy with her son because he had never brought home any girl, and now she had made the only one he did uncomfortable. She smiled all the more, trying to make up for it, I was not moved.

Immediately I was alone with Josh outside his house, I turned an angry face. I usually am a timid person but I had enough courage to confront him on why he had lied about me to his mother. He begged and begged for me to listen to him, explaining that his mother is a very tribal person. I could not understand because I was no racist, sexist, ageist, or any -ist so why would someone at that age and status be? From that moment I harboured questions about my relationship with Josh. “Things will get settled once I tell my dad the truth”; was the final word he said before I left. It gave me some comfort and I grew optimistic. I left for Kogi the next day.

I missed Josh so much I could barely think of any other thing or guy, I made few friends and shared my story with them, they loved Josh already but were all worried about his parents rejection of me. I hid under the cover that Josh and I were just kidding around. They were not deceived.  It was obvious I was only consoling myself.

Two months passed since I left school and communication between Josh and I went on smooth. He often spoke of how much he missed me and wanted to see me. He had concluded he was going to take the job at cyprus and we planned i would move over there to study a master’s program of my choice. My mum bought the idea without me mentioning josh as my reason. Things went on as planned. 2 weeks before he was to leave the country, I travelled down to see him. We had a whole week to ourselves, having fun in our usual way. We had hope it will all work out fine.

Things changed and he cared less but I didn’t bother myself too much because I thought it was pressure and stress from travel preparations, I saw pictures of many him and a particular girl on his phone. He gave me different answers each time I asked. I didn’t care because he was leaving town soon and all these girls won’t see him to trouble again. I helped pack his bags and found his travel ticket and passport, it says; UK!
UK? You told me cyprus and showed me your invitation letters, why UK now? He calmed me down as i raised my voice, told me he was going to the UK to get his Visa and do more interviews. My questions were why didn’t he tell me. But he had no reply. I immediately knew Josh had been lying to me. He just kept saying sorry but i didn’t understand. Tears filled my eyes as my leave day approached. The day before, he asked me in the morning when i was leaving i told him “tomorrow” he said; “can’t you leave today? You know i have to go see my family and spend few nights with them. I told him i could stay alone and leave the next day. We argued it for hours before he left in anger. He called severally, i didn’t pick because i was angry.

When Josh returned at about 8pm that day, he said i just had to leave that he can’t leave me in the house. he ordered me to pack my bags and go stay with a friend, i couldn’t figure what went wrong and why he would treat me like that. I called his friend to beg him and i begged him to forgive me for not picking his calls and pleaded that he should let me stay till the next day but he declined. I had no cash on me and i didn’t want to go to a friend but i had to, he said he couldn’t drop me off because he was tired. I left in tears, fear, anger and confusion. When i got to my friend’s she hugged me and told me things would be fine. I wanted to call him again when i realised i forgot my phone there.

I took a bike back to his house, my friend wanted to come but i didn’t allow her because i didn’t want her to see us argue or fight. On getting there; i knocked severally, he didn’t open, i decided to peep through the room window, my heart dropped to my feet and my jaw to my chest at what i saw.

episode 3

episode 2

episode 1

Leave your thoughts pls,

AISHA n JOSH…. episode 3

13 Comments


Last week, I used a picture to represent Josh and I and obviously that’s not our picture but it gives a description of how we were then, JOSHUA is a tall muscular, fair guy, he his very hairy and good looking, hails from the western region and lived in the east just before his father became an Evangelist in a church in Kogi were we met.

Let me give a brief history:

I, Aisha is the only child of my Mother who is the only child of her parent, I am hausa from Abdalawa in Katsina Lat 13.16 Long 7.9 with population of about 195,000 people mostly women and children residing in the town. Farming and cow rearing is a major occupation but my mother is a business woman, she distributes Dangote products and is friends with a lot of business men and women in Kogi State, that’s how we moved to Kogi and she made me school somewhere close, i was very young and smart, i had idea in almost everything, science was and is my darling and would fall for anyone who played the role of Daddy since i lost mine when I was just 11 😦 i never knew a large family, i was used to the little i had and was always grateful, i practise Islam and did all required except that i got carried away as a teenager, had friends but never partied or clubbed until i met Josh because that was his way of life, it occurred to me i missed out a lot but i still caught up with many.

Josh on the other hand, is the first of 6children and so much was expected of him at the time he was just 25 had 5 siblings looking up to him, a mother who believed in him and a father who is always expecting, Despite our messy lives we still held on to family and each time he speaks of his, i always wished i had one to talk about. He works for an advertising company and did his MSc has part time, he might not be the born again Christian but will always pray, go to church and do the norms, he has invited me to sunday services several times but i always find excuses.

Its been 5months into our very undefined relationship and we were both always trying to define it but it leads to one argument or the other, he started to introduce me to friends as his girlfriend and i was now free to talk about him to my girlfriends, i even mentioned him to my mom but she wasn’t in full support of the relationship, this i knew because she never asked after him. I didn’t mind because i was sure he now loved me and cared about me and would always make me smile. Josh never stopped his romantic ways and he never stopped how we started off, every day was lived freshly and lively.

Soon before i was due to go home for the long break, Josh took me to his parents house, we were in for about an hour or two, we talked about how we would miss each other at a point i cried because he was also almost done with his master’s programming and was planning to take a job in Cyprus but wasn’t sure yet. The end was the only thing i saw in our relationship, to be honest i wasn’t hopeful at all, a lot of friends and colleagues have never seen us going past 3months, even though we made it past that. As we were talking and giggling with him assuring me he wasn’t going to leave me and telling me how much he now loves and respects me, his mum walked in.

She is tall, dark and fat, i had to look up at her, knelt down and greeted her, she was busy talking on the phone and didn’t respond, i didn’t take any offence but after like 10-15mins of her wandering about the house i thought to myself, she should have noticed me by now, but guess she didn’t. Josh was no longer by my side, she had told him to get something, then i greeted her again. Her words were ” i thought you were dumb” i responded with down spirit that i greeted her but she was on the phone. She smiled and asked of my name, just then Josh came in and told her i was Kemi. I looked up from where i knelt and he gave the “shut up i’ll explain sign”. I smiled back at her and she started speaking yoruba, of course i understand yoruba but i became dumb as she earlier assumed. The next question was; which church do you attend?

:O i didn’t know what to say because obviously she concluded i was Christian.

Monday is just around the corner please stay tuned 😀

AISHA n JOSH. Episode 1

9 Comments


Today makes almost 2years since this happened to me. I had been in the relationship for about 4months but it was always hard to believe it was that short, because we had much fun than a relationship of four years, we had gone places, done things and met people as a pair! Yes! We were ONE or at least it looked like it.
I met Joshua in a conference in Kogi, he is tall, dark, broad chest, pink lips, thin eyes and his nails were well cut and clean, i had noticed him but was too busy registering delegates that came in for the conference, few hours later, he walked up to me and asked for my name, i told him; I am Aisha.

Joshua: oh Aisha, you are very beautiful. My name is Joshua.

please don’t say No, can i be your friend?

Aisha: oh, thanks why not? I am friends with anyone who ask.

Joshua: so what your weak point?

Aisha: weak what?

Joshua: No, No, don’t go all sexual with me, i meant weak points in team work, am your team leader you know?

Aisha: oh really, i didn’t know. Sorry. That’s why am here, to know more about me.

Joshua and I had connected so well, we talked about every and anything before the end of the 3-days conference. We had gone back to school in the same bus. He was doing his masters while i was in my 3rd year in the same university. Joshua is loving and well mannered, he is nice and caring. It wasn’t just because he liked me specially, he was like that to everyone on the bus. At some point, i got really jealous and wondered if he liked everyone exactly the same.

On arrival to my hostel in school, josh as i fondly called him got me dinner and gave me drugs that’ll ease the pain in my joints, he promised to come pick me up in the morning for school. That next day, was when we started it all.

He had dropped me in school and parked directly in front of my soon to be ex-boyfriend‘s department, i was desperate to leave my boyfriend, due to many reasons but he was clogged up on me. The wisest thing to do at that moment was to use Josh as a bait, i practically didn’t ask, but we looked at each other and i guess what was playing in my head was playing in his – let’s kiss and chase the bastard! It was suppose to be a brief kiss but then it didn’t stop for about 3-4mins or so, we kissed so well, i could feel it in my feet, i was lost in δ transition, we didn’t even touch each other but our lips were locked, after a while of trying to re position ourselves we realised we were being starred at. I quickly laid back and smiled, my ex-boyfriend was walking away. Josh and i laughed, and the laughter was so evil, like we had won the world cup, i went into the walk way with my head up and all smile. 🙂

The whole of sciences heard the gist before the end of the day( i was quite popular) thank God, the gist wasn’t about me dumping my boyfriend but about how good i was with kissing *blushing*. Days and weeks after i would have guys walk up to me and beg me to kiss them jokingly but i felt good about it. My ex-boyfriend automatically stopped bothering me and now Josh is the new hot catch… We had good times talking about several things and he never missed taking me to school, soon everyone started asking questions and i would snap at them saying; “he isn’t my boyfriend”. It was hard to believe but truly after that kiss, we had nothing again and didn’t talk about it either, instead we focused on business and future ambitions.

It was his birthday,i composed a nice write up and posted it on his facebook page, till date, its the best L♥√ع note i have ever written. Words went around town and school that we were in a relationship and suddenly we found ourselves in one. Everyday came something new and every night we both longed for the next day.. Some how half of our friends didn’t think we were suppose to be together due to us both just leaving a relationship just few weeks apart and our religion differences, and there was how a lot of other differences sprung up…

This entry will continue next monday… WATCH OUT!!!