Are you where you thought you would be?

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Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?

I have been asked this question over and over again and every time the answer changes. The answer changes because I am always changing. Where you want to be in your life and where you think you will actually be are 2 very different things. As children we all wanted to be rich and famous and well-known (well most of us-maybe not all). But realistically we knew this was not going to be the case.

I can honestly say I never had a clear picture of what I thought my life would be like at this point.

I am the type of person that wants to learn and experience so much that I am unable to think of a life only one certain way. It would actually be almost impossible to picture my life at a future time. I will always have goals and dreams and I do hope some of these come into fruition but I don’t rely on these things to shape my life to define me.

I believe I am undefinable. I would have never guessed that I would be working in an IT firm or even be a fashion designer or at most surprising be a writer. I want to pursue a degree in human resource management or project management, I will eat my words with saying this and probably catch a lot of hell, but I am unsure of exactly how I want to use this degree and i definitely will go to fashion school. When I first started with this it was never my intention to make a name out of this but over the past year I have dove a lot into art and even learning how to sew and more on design techniques. people recommend, request and call me for different projects i don’t even have any idea about, its so sweet to know that few people believe in me and that as earlier planned am a role model to a few and still in-charge of my little tittle “FIRST CHILD”

OK, now back to the topic at hand…Am I where I thought I would be at this point in my life? As stated, I never saw my life in a certain way. if going by my initial plan, i should still be in school studying medicine, but going by the later plan, well what can i say Alhamdulilah. The only thing that is most important in my life (and I hope it is in everyone else’s – even through the hard times) is happiness. The thing about that though that I needed to change was realizing that happiness is a journey and not a destination. I still have to remind myself of that all of the time because I am always looking for an end…and while looking for that end I am missing the incredible journey I am on in this very moment. It has taken me a really long time to get to this point.

I am at a crucial point in my life where things are starting to make sense and I am feeling more in tune with who I am than I ever have. I still have a hard time accepting things and I do not always stand up for myself and I dislike confrontation in any form but I am learning. I am accepting what is right now. I am learning that I am beyond lucky for the things that I have in my life. I go through phases of loneliness and anxiety but I never stop forgetting that they are only moments and the world is too big of a place to get stuck in one small rut. I am slowly starting to talk more about who I really am and face fears that I had been ignoring for a long time. I am bringing what is on the inside out and the journey is absolutely breathtaking.

So i am not there yet, a lot of things have gone out of place, a lot in place and a lot too arranged am over whelmed but i am grateful and happy to be where i am because it is so promising and with you all by my side encouraging me.. i will get there!

ARE YOU THERE YET? and if not, where would you be in 5years?

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What is happiness?

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I am currently in the sky (yes I love this place) and I just had the most delicious cake meal and I am now starting on different projects. An older couple (probably early 70’s) is sitting in comfy chairs across from me. and yes being in love doesn’t mean you are happy or vice versa. The woman is doing stuff on her Ipad and the man is flipping through a magazine. They have been chatting back and forth about random things, travel plans, etc. What I noticed was that even during the times they weren’t talking the man had his arm stretched to grasp onto his wife’s hand and was rubbing the inside of her palm with his thumb. I have stated before my take on love and I really don’t think that many people get to experience what true love is. I get a vibe though that this couple is experiencing love-not experienced but experiencing. They seem to be the best of friends and just their actions show such an ease with each other. I know that I don’t know anything about their lives but from this small glance it would appear that they have achieved happiness in their lives. They are enjoying their journey and they are lucky to have found a companion to share the journey with.

I started to ponder the thought, concept, idea and feeling of happiness in this moment. Happiness is one of those words that does not have a set definition. Webster’s dictionary may disagree but I am going to stick to what I believe. Happiness is a feeling. It is a feeling that you can have in a mere moment or you can hold onto for hours and days and weeks and years. Happiness is something you choose. I think about my happiness. The last guy I dated and I were laying in my bed one night and we were just talking about all kinds of things. We started discussing happiness and he told me he didn’t want me to tell him that he made me happy. I was shocked and so confused. What he meant was…he wanted me to embrace my own happiness and realize that it is all mine. No one else can make you happy. You make yourself happy through your choices and your journey. I wanted to tell him a million times that he made me happy but then I realized that I needed to rephrase it. I would tell him that being with him made me feel happy. since having someone makes me happy. It may seem like an odd concept to some but it makes perfect sense to me because in truth I own my happiness completely because being happy is my choice., no one else’s.

I have decided to start a personal list of those things that make me feel happiness. The list could be endless but I will spare my readers too many words. I want to do this so people are able to reflect on their own lives and think about what makes them happy. I want people to think that happiness really is a choice. Even in troubling times you are able to make yourself happy if that is what you really want. You can allow yourself to see the silver lining even if it seems to be hidden behind dark, black clouds. There is a lot of chaos and heartbreak that surrounds us in the world and I think that we need these things to think about sometimes. I try to keep an upbeat tone in my writings as much as I can so people are able to (hopefully) let their problems go for even a moment and reflect on their lives and see what they are blessed with. I, sometimes, take my life for granted and I need time to ground myself and think about what makes me happy and what I am thankful for. Happiness surrounds me every day.

Happiness is:

1) Watching a sitcom and laughing until you have tears on your face

2) Watching an old couple (very obviously) in love

3) Having an amazing conversation with a friend-feeling like this conversation has changed you and has made you see and understand the other person better.

4) Watching the curiosity and wonder in a child’s face.

5) A true and genuine hug from someone you really care about.

6) having cold drink after a long walk in the sun

7) A delicious hot coffee on a cold day.

8) The most delicious piece of  cake.

9) Having friends in your life that you can have serious moments with but can also laugh for hours with (I like to call this achieving hanger face-you can’t stop smiling and it looks like you have a hanger stuck in your mouth).

10) Seeing/Learning a different perspective

11) Loving yourself unconditionally.

12) Receiving an unexpected compliment that turns your whole day around.

13) People complimenting you efforts

14) Accomplishing a goal that you thought was impossible.

15) Meeting someone new that you immediately feel comfortable with and know you want to spend more time with.

16) Embracing the things you love and running with them-mine would be writing and creating.

17) Paying a complete stranger a compliment because you want others to feel good.

18) Trying something completely new and different-Going outside of your comfort zone. mine would be staying out late

19) Hanging with friends/family beside a river

20) Not having to rely on money-Finding plenty of things to do on a very limited budget and still have a blast.

21) Art/photography that moves you.

22) Listening to your favorite song/a song that you would swear was written for or about you.

23) Learning about something new that you never thought would interest you and actually really enjoying it.

24) Offering someone help when they need it.  the other i helped put a party together and i found happiness making others happy. Acts of kindness and paying it forward can go a really long way.

25) Have a child run and jump into your arms because they are so excited to see you.

26) collecting your salary and not having to pay any debt or bills.

27) is tweeting non- stop

28) being stucked with your blackberry because pings are coming from almost all your contacts

29) going to bed with anticipation of seeing someone special

30) is getting a ring on that tiny finger in a way you never imagined

For my readers, I know I am like a broken record, but these are the moments to cherish. Life can sometimes get us so caught up that we forget what is truly important. I ask of you to take a moment to look at what you have done lately. Have you helped someone? Have you paid someone an unexpected, genuine compliment? Have you lent your ear because you know someone needed it? I truly believe when you do these things that you will understand what true happiness is. Happiness is something we feel within but it comes from all of the things outside of us. Happiness can be found around every corner and one tiny thing can bring you an abundance of happiness. I hope you take the time to find your own happiness as well as become a part of helping others find theirs.

what really makes you this happy?

my leadership style test

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So i took an online test today which would be published to UNICEF and this is what my result says;

My Leadership Style Quiz 
You’re a COMMUNICATOR! 
 
Congratulations! That was the last question. Thanks for taking the time to share your voice with YouthSpeak, AIESEC, and the world.

Your highest value as a leader is acquiring intelligence,team work,diversifying my thought,hard work and caring for others. For you, the best way for young people to make change is sharing the opinion of a group of young people. This means that *drum roll*….
You are a communicator!

You value speaking up for a cause. You emphasize communication to align people and help make a change.

If you choose to take leadership, whether it’s locally, nationally, or internationally, you can help to make sure that decision-makers and people making change hear important voices who might otherwise not be heard. Perhaps you will do it by speaking, or maybe you’ll communicate by writing fiction, making visual art, or organising social media campaigns.

One thing to look out for: Words alone don’t make change. Make sure you find people who can connect to your cause and take action,

In the workforce, you might consider a job as a teacher, a preacher, a politician, or a spokesperson. Whatever you do, we wish you good luck!

You sure might be better than me

what’s your opinion 😀