HOW FAR have i gone?…


By the way earlier today I updated one of my old posts and sent out.. check it here. followig yesterdays’ post. no one can break a smashed heart. what is left of it are fibres ad atries, if theres someone out there trying to reap that out, it should be “DEATH” itself. 😀

i made mention of revealing my 2012 goals and revolution I set in december last year and for US to see how far I have gone.

here… in no particular order

  1. Stay closer to GOD.
  2. Learn to be patient and optimistic.
  3. Push LC forward – Build a website for LC.
  4. Get promoted at work.
  5. Get myself a defined relationship.
  6. Create my blog with atleast one article weekly.
  7. Establish a standard resume.
  8. Increase my network of contacts.
  9. Become more responsible.
  10. Learn to complete my ramdan sessions – Pilgrim to saudi.
  11. No more odd hour parties.
  12. Complete one of my books.

Truth be told, i didnt have to look at a book every month to achieve these goals but they were just twelve plus others registered in my mind as to what and what would make me fulfilled this year 2012 it’s few days till the end of 2012 and i do not think I have done enough. please grade.

  • Stay closer to GOD.

This is marked half way because sincerely, i am better than 2010 and 2011 when talking about being closer to GOD but as you see, im not close enough. sometimes I am even too afraid to ask from him because I have done little or less in creating a bond with him.

  • Learn to be patient and optimistic.

I have  always been optimistic and entutiastic but patience, hmmm it has been difficult but thanks to writing, its helped me so much that what anger and passion i have to pour out, i do it right here on wordpress and my wonderful readers and followers on twitter are just good to go.

  • Push LC forward – Build a website for LC.

This i have proudly crossed. for the new-bees M’ADE used to be LC (LAHYOH COUTURE) but as i evolved being the motive of existence i realised the name couldn’t cart i have to offer and avoiding several mini brands why not put them all under one umbrella (not PDP tho) this gracious umbrella is called M’ADE. M’ADE is definately my greatest achievement this year would continue to top the list until i have sons and adopted kids. lol. as for the website aspect. dont worry before 31/12/12 it’ll be ready. 😀 drum rolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Get promoted at work.

Adjusts my collar and re-touch my IMAN powder, pouting and posing for camera and several executive handshakes, I proudly say: i am no more the front desk person / secretary, gradually moi CV is making sense. you know i always crave being a front desk officer, well after six months into it, i wanted more. more than just recieving and delivering, i wanted to make impact and have a defined Working experience. i didnt have to go too far, God willing there was an open space in the next office… Human Resource department was empty, a colleague had just resigned and i was suppose to post an ad for a new one when my boss walked in.

boss: M’ade see me now

me: ooo! im enjoying this movie jo *in my head sha*

boss: erm, you know our HRM left on monday abi?

me: nods in disbelieve

boss: the management thinks we need someone immediately  thats why you were requested to post an ad but looking at you and your enterpreneual skills, you are smart, very deligent and goal driven. we decided that you should act for a while pending your time here as a corps member.

me: jaw drops*

boss: what? you cant do it?

me: i can do anything but im not experienced you know?

boss: you see, i know you are capable thats why. dont worry as for the inexperience part, we will get you a professional you can assist when we fully employ you.

me: thinks* fully employ? erm i though i was starting up a business after NYSC O.

speaks* okay boss, just tell me what to do.

Anyways, thats the small dramma behind my getting promoted o, and since the end of NYSC i have been appointed the assisatnt HRM where i work. Its been an amazing tears breaking experience. will gist ya’ll later.

  • Get myself a defined relationship.

Lets just act as if we didnt see this one. you know how it is na. Gal is too busy for this one *covers face*

  • Create my blog with atleast one article weekly.

Ya’ll be the judge of this, with over a hundred and fifty posts in ten months i am more than sure this is achieved but DO YOU ENJOY IT?

  • Establish a standard resume.

I will someday soon post a copy of my resume and CV for you all to see, im no jobberman or CV editor but my boss has helped with the designing and re arrangement and as an HR person i see a lot of good, bad and ugly CVs everyday. mine is more than standard.

  • Increase my network of contacts.

Even though i have not met the president of Nigeria or even Obama, i have small tiny confidence that the small people i have met can do wonders in life, i am yet to post my 30secs moment with dangote, i will soon. in numbers i have met over a hundred top executives, over 500 enterpreneurs and many jagbajantis followers on twitter that make my life fun, facebook? lets not just go there and during the PROJECT I’M MADE i met a couple of people who have impacted in my life. and before i forget those wonderful kids i and many young change agents mentored, their parents. i even had one fix my door recently for free because his kid was one of them, you see? life is give and take.One saturday i was going to shop for vegetables and i got free carrot from one of the market women who recognised me during the project. i might not know the rich people o, but i got free vegetables every weekend, i will be fresher than all of you (in DAVIDO’s voice).

  • Become more responsible and make impact.

I have always been responsible *rme* but i liked free bees. i still do but now, me sef i pay bills, i don get bukata. I have responsibilities at the end of the month, i have responsible for the growth of my community, I am responsible for the welfare of about fourty staffs where i work and many other virtual intending employees. I am responsible for my self, my business and my family. in fact, i am feeling fly (in areske’s voice). I am not just responsible, I am a responsible lady. When you see ME, you gotta respect me o.

  • Learn to complete my ramdan sessions – Pilgrim to saudi.

😦 I’m not entirely happy about this thou, even I completed ramadan and all but many things are still not in place and i’m sorry for not breaking my record and dissapointing those that look up to me. but most especially God almighty, i promise to be better next year. well as for Hajj mehn, i got online and realise it takes a fortune to go for hajj o and I was earning just 30k per month *covers face* let’s hope for 2013  sha… I must go o and driver AVENZA when I get back. *smiles*

  • No more odd hour parties.

Oya protest this one if you ever saw me in a night party this year. I’m now a good girl o. Night clubbing days are so over and I miss my girls but I deduced a much better way to party hard. lets see sha. I will invite all of you (my readers and followers).

  • Complete one of my books.

Anything can still happen, I am half way into it and because i gbagaun alot, my parents wasted money on the fake english teacher they got me, it slowed me down. stop blaming! its my fault and I’m responsible for this failure and I hope to finish and publish it soon. ISA

SO, all of you that always make my head swell saying I am the perfect girlfriend and sister and everything, you see I’m not even close to being one, I am a work in progress. This post is meant to make people understand that setting goals helps you succeed better and measuring how far you have gone helps you break record. Remember Usain Bolt, he’s such a genius and role model, why? because he breaks self-records.

…i compete with no one but my self…

peace out!!!

Broken Hearts Never Mend…


Vanishing Broken Heart…
I’ve been wondering of late at what point the human heart shuts down, and emotions end? When does your heart say, “Look I’ve had enough. I’m tired of being betrayed, stabbed in the back, left to slowly bleed out. I’m done. I have no more to give. To anyone. Leave me alone.”

What pushes it to that point? Where it’s walls are so thick and so high and so immovable that nothing can get through. Where it’s turned to stone. Indifferent and cold. How many darts can be hurled at it from all types of sources? How many knives twisting to the core? How many times can it be shattered, abandoned, stabbed, disappointed, emptied and left for dead before it simply vanishes?

And then what?

What happens when it’s a lump of gannet in your chest? Does it ever go back to pliable sand? What would motivate it to care? And why after years of friends, family, lovers, trying to drain the life out of it, why would it ever want to?


Broken hearts never mend. They may put a turnikate on and keep functioning. They may even close the gaping wound over time. But they never really, fully mend. The scars are there. And after a while scars upon scars turn to cartilage (I’m no doctor, but even I know that!)… and cartilage becomes so think and unflexible that it causes it’s own pain in addition to the pain it’s covering up.


It’s a very real fear I have. The past few years have taken their tole on my heart from every angle. I believe that in life you get what you give… which leaves me as the common denominator, I’m smart enough to figure that out. But I look at the ones who’ve thrown daggers in the front and back of my heart the past few years including my immediate family, and all the ones I’ve put myself out there for and loved only to be betrayed in the end… and I ask myself the very serious question…What the fuck?

In each case circumstances vary. Family is definitely different than lovers, and friends obviously. But all I can think is, how can someone who’s professed their love for you turn their back so quickly? To steel a line from Katy Perry“spit me out like I was poison in your mouth”. It’s a valid question. I can’t think of anyone in my lifetime that I have treated that way. Where one day I was on their side, and in their corner and the next I was throwing them under the bus. Standing by to watch it crush them with a satisfied smirk on my face. I just don’t have that in me. I’m full of flaws, obviously. But I could never be cold and malicious like that. I can’t get my head around how many people are that way though. Why are they always the ones I wind up trusting? When will my dumbass learn?
I don’t want to give up on whats good and beautiful in life. I don’t want to close my heart to the opportunity of how amazing love can be, but at what point does that stop being my choice? I don’t want to wake up one day ten years from now and realize that it happened long ago. I know I can control it, but that takes the desire and will to rise above yet again… and I’m just so tired.

if killing wasnt a sin!!!!!!!!! hmmm…. just if!



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Baby’s development in the womb

Owing to the fact that i have a lot of pregnant and intending preggies as friends and colleagues i thought it will be nice to share this piece after coming across it along while ago. im not a doctor nor a nurse but you can be sure when it comes to BABIES i can go to lengths on finding information on them, right from sex to their youth-hood.

In this description, we have adopted the method doctors use. For example, where we write ‘week 8’ we have counted this from the first day of your last period — your baby will usually only be 6 weeks old at this point.
How doctors date your pregnancy

The average pregnancy lasts for 38 weeks from the date you conceive (this is called conception). However, doctors usually date your pregnancy from the first day of your last menstrual period — that is the day your last period started. Using this method a pregnancy is said to last 40 weeks (280 days).

Your due date is usually calculated as 40 weeks from the first day of your last period. However, fertilization of your egg by sperm happens a day or 2 after ovulation, which occurs in the middle of a 28-day cycle, and then it is a couple of days before the fertilized egg implants in the uterus, so for the first 2 weeks of the 40-week ‘pregnancy’ you are not actually pregnant at all.

First month

After the egg has been fertilized by the sperm, it starts to divide into more cells. This happens all the time it is carried along the fallopian tube to the uterus. By the time it reaches the uterus the fertilised egg has become a cluster of cells which float in the uterine cavity until it embeds in the wall of the uterus. This implantation in the wall of the uterus is when conception is complete. This is roughly 4 weeks after day one of the last menstrual period if you have a 28-day cycle.

Second month

At 5 weeks the embryo is the size of a grain of rice (about 2 mm long) and would be visible to the naked eye. It has the beginnings of a brain with 2 lobes and its spinal cord is starting to form.

At 6 weeks of ‘pregnancy’ (3-4 weeks after fertilisation) the embryo has a head with simple eyes and ears. Its heart has 2 chambers and is beating. Small buds are present that will form arms and legs later. The beginnings of the spine can be seen and the lower part of the body looks like a tail.

embryo at 6 weeks

At 7 weeks, the limb buds have grown into arms and legs. Nostrils can be seen on the embryo’s face. The heart now has 4 chambers.

At 8 weeks, the eyes and ears are growing, and your baby is about 2 cm long from crown to rump. The head is out of proportion with the body and the face is developing. The brain and the blood vessels in the head can be seen through the thin skin. The bones in the arms and legs start to harden and elbows and knees become apparent. Fingers and toes can also be seen.
Third month

What is known as the embryonic period finishes at the end of week 8 and the fetal period begins. This period sees rapid growth of the fetus, and the further development of the organs and tissues that were formed in the embryonic period.

fetus at 11 weeks

At week 9 the head is almost half the crown to rump length of the fetus. Then the body grows substantially in length until by week 12, the head is more in proportion. By the time you are 12 weeks’ ‘pregnant’, your baby is just over 5 cm long from crown to rump.

Its body is fully formed, including ears, toes and fingers complete with fingernails. The external genitals appeared in week 9, and now, by week 12, have fully differentiated into male or female genitals. By week 12 the eyes have moved to the front of the face and the eyelids remain closed together.
Fourth month

Your baby may suck its thumb now. By 14 weeks your baby will be about 9-10 cm long. Its body is now covered with a layer of fine hair called lanugo. By 16 weeks its face is becoming more human in appearance, although the chin is small and the mouth is quite wide. Between 16 and 24 weeks you should feel your baby move for the first time — it may at first feel like butterflies.
Fifth month

The rapid growth that your baby has been experiencing now begins to slow a little. By week 20 your baby measures about 18 centimetres from crown to rump and is half as long as it will be when born. The legs are now in proportion with the body and the fingernails are well developed. Faint eyebrows are visible. At this stage, you will feel your baby moving about a lot, often when you lie down.

fetus at 20 weeks
Sixth month

By 24 weeks your baby’s organs are fully formed. The baby now has the face of a newborn baby, although the eyes are rather prominent because fat pads are yet to build up in the baby’s cheeks. The eyelids are fused until weeks 25 to 26 when they open.

The skin is wrinkled, red and thin with little underlying fat. The skin is covered with a waxy substance called vernix, which protects it while it is floating in the uterus. The body is well muscled, but still thin. The baby has become better proportioned, with the size of the body catching up with the size of the head.

Your baby’s hearing is also well developed by this stage; the baby will respond to noise.
Seventh month

By 28 weeks lanugo hair has almost gone and hair is present on the head. Fat is being deposited under the skin.
Eighth month

Your baby is becoming plumper. By 30 weeks the toenails are present and by 32 weeks the fingernails have reached the ends of the fingers. The baby’s eyes will be open when the baby’s awake.

By about 32 weeks the baby will have settled into a downward position as there is no longer enough room left in the womb for it to move about freely. You will feel occasional vigorous jabs of the baby’s arms and legs.

If your baby is a boy, his testes will migrate down into the scrotum in the 8th month.
Ninth month

Sometime between 36 and 40 weeks, the baby’s head will engage — that is, the head will be lying just on top of your cervix. By 40 weeks, your baby should be plump and healthy.

The lanugo hair that had covered your baby has now mostly disappeared, although some hair may remain low on the forehead, in front of the ears and down the center of the back. The toenails should have reached the tips of the toes.
Full term

By full-term, your baby should weigh about 2.7 to 3.5 kg, although full-term babies can weigh anything from 2.5 to 5 kg, and measure 35 to 38 centimeters from crown to rump and 44 to 55 cm from the baby’s head to its toes. These are just average figures, though, and there can be wide variation in the measurements. So now, 38 weeks after conception, your baby has all its organs and body systems ready for the big moment when it is born into the world.

Meeting the(my) Dentist


You know they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Right? Well yea!

Sunday night was hell, I kept myself distracted by pinging and tweeting(remember I said social network can be your best friend or worst enemy) just the way it has brought me to blogging, it was about to bring me cure.

A lot of my friends and followers sympathised with the way I related my threshold of pain in English, Gibberish, French, Science, Art and even Comedy. They probably thought I was joking until I asked @Giditraffic where i can get the best dentist. Let me rewind!

I started following @Giditraffic after he won the future awards and ever since he’s been of great help. He actually inspires me and sometimes I beef him (positive beefing sha). Back to the story.

Before I came back from the toilet, my mention was flooded with a lot of suggestion and links on how I can the best treatment. I was wowed with a “private dental clinic on Opebi and #LASUTH Ikeja”. It was a bit confusing as to who and whom to trust. I didn’t go with my heart nor my brain, my bank account chose for me. I decided to go with #LASUTH, since it is a government hospital and would definitely be cheaper. Good use of social network… Thank you @Giditraffic! Finding my way to #LASUTH on monday morning was challenge 1. I asked @Giditraffic again and yes, my mention was flooded. In about an hour, I was in #LASUTH nice and easy. The ride there was terrific but I was hopeful, no gallop or crazy conductor can ruin my day more than this ache in my ear, throat n gum.

I got to the Dental clinic’s reception but was denied any attention saying; I have to come before 8am to be attended to. Well, i didn’t know this beforehand and I can’t go all the way back to the island after missing work plus this pain?? No way! She just looked at me in a very disgusting way and walked out on me. I kept my cool and walked pass the dental rooms, making sure one of the doctors saw me, one finally caught my eye and I spoke immediately. “Sir, please I wasn’t well attended to and I need something to help me with my pain till tomorrow” I said with a teary eye. He smiled and promised it was going to be okay, asked me to get aspirin and come early the next day.

Of course, I fed my twitter fans (smiles and bats lashes) with my gist. I got several “get well soon” messages. I was feeling the attention 😀 at least it was distracting me from the pain.

Tuesday, 11th september, 2012 I rose up to defeat that woman that was beefing me because I kacked up to the hospital. No matter how sick I am, I look good (you know, Mr right might just be on the road), she should just deal with it. I got there in my jean and black top and my printed tuxedo jacket. Not minding her sad face, I got my appointment card and sat at the reception patiently waiting for my name/number to be called. Finally, after 3 hours of waiting and meeting a couple of people that I knew through the #ProjectIMMADE Campaign and few of my clients(I’m becoming popular o), I was at the doctor’s reception waiting for my turn. As usual, I had to protest some cheating that was going on, there and then someone else knew me; it was MIMs (olufemi) we’ve been virtual friends for a while. I didn’t even recognise him, I didn’t realise he was that young man. I have been eyeing the guy since I got to the doctor’s reception. Girls sha, someone I use to form for on twitter and bbm, I’ve been scoping him all morning (let’s hope he’s not reading this).

I got into the doctor’s room, sat on the dental chair, related all my issues with him, had them checked and was asked to take an X-ray. He insinuated that the upper flap would be cut and that I might have to undergo surgical extraction. Erm that is Dr Imade talking. He’s sweet, friendly, patient, loving, nice and all. The attributes you find in a doctor and a man. In about 2hrs of consultation and testing, we had talked about a lot of things including marriage. Well sadly, he was married. He got married in May 😦 .
After all the testings, he scheduled me for an emergency surgery the next day, 3pm on wednesday, 12th of september. I went in for the supposed surgery, I was relaxed and comfortable because I trusted my doctor, MIMs was there with me *winks*. I was supposed to go through the normal surgery, after been administered anaesthetic. But after 3 doses, I still was feeling pain in some parts of my mouth. Of course I don’t take alcohol or smoke but I just wasn’t responding. Dr Imade decided to give me one more dose and go in immediately, he promised not to do normal procedure because that would leave me out of work for 2weeks but will try some magic. To cut the long story short, his magic worked and I returned home. That night was the worst night ever. I thought my ear was going to explode but after two doses of Ibrophen and 5hours of grunting, I felt better. My gum is still sore, the stitch still hurts but its day 4 and I feel better already. Dr Imade still calls me twice a day to check up on me.

Moral of the story, I L♥√ع my doctor and the way he has handled his patients. If Doctors can be that nice, performing magic on patients would be a lot more magical. *wink wink*

kindly comment and share, thanks

Qualities of Attract-ion


Well, it is official, I am sick, i have been feeling a lot under the weather these days and my oxygen-routine changed,a situation where you get to feel under pressure at night and more relaxed during the day causing you to sleep more during the day, it could be a symptom to many things ( even pregnancy- will you criticize me if i am?). have been too lazy and even grown more nonchalant to see a doctor (very much against what i preach), no production through out last week, no new designs and i didn’t write anything until today.

Anyhow, in my clouded haze I stumbled upon the question of attraction. I wanted to pose the question in a manner that was not directly linked to romantic attraction. In my opinion, attraction is the sense of being drawn to someone whether it be because of the way they look or their mannerisms. Many things can attract one person to another. How many times have you encountered someone you may not find physically appealing but once they speak and engage in conversation you find that you are attracted to their person…to their being. You may not necessarily feel a romantic connection but you feel a desire to be around them.

There are a ton of qualities I find attractive in people. Confidence (confidence not cockiness or arrogance) is probably one of the most attractive qualities a person can have. When a person is obviously secure with themselves they exude a natural happiness in life. I love to be around people like this because it makes me feel like they are living their ultimate bliss. I believe in the law of attraction as well so I choose to surround myself with people like this as often as I can.

The ability to make people smile and to treat people with a great amount of respect to draw people in. These are some of the most attractive qualities that a person can hold within themselves. These are the qualities that attracts me to others and make me want to build relationships with people. Times have changed though. Society has changed and media has emerged in a way that has (at least I believe) has made us lose those personal connections with each other. When I find qualities like this in a person, I hold onto them with dear life. These qualities portray a sense of balance. In this crazed world, if a person is able to keep up with media and technology but still maintain personal relationships on deep levels then I am hooked.

People are all so different and that is what makes life so interesting to me. I have been drawn to complete strangers because of only mere words they have spoken or body language that portrays passion and desire.…some of these things may cause romantic(wink wink) feelings in me while others may cause a desire to want to get to know the person more and hear more about their lives and adventures.

Creative / artistic -I am absolutely drawn to people that love creating in some way or another-whether it be through writing, painting or music. Someone that exudes passion in a creative form.

Physical appearance– i am strongly attracted to either a girl or boy/man by their looks, i keep a lot of people just because they amuse and interest me just by their looks, dressing, appearance and carriage, it actually helps me to want to look better. For guys- especially heights, i can hug YOU till the next full moon.

Kindness-It may seem like an obvious thing to be attracted to but kindness comes in many forms. I am attracted to people that perform kind acts naturally, without even realizing that they are doing it. A simple gesture of remembering something about yesterday and asking or asking if you had breakfast. hmm…

Goal-getter: in a way if you are an achiever or someone that pursues goals, you automatically have my heart, i can easily forgive your shortcomings because this alone carries a lot of burden and confidence.

Humor-If you can make me laugh and make me feel like I have a hanger stuck in my mouth from smiling so much then I will 100% be attracted to you as a person.

Adventurous-I chose this quality because sometimes I am not as adventurous as I wish I was and when I encounter people that are it drives me to step outside of my comfort zone.

Happiness-I am so ridiculously drawn to happy people. I am drawn to people that see the silver lining majority of the time. I am drawn to people that do not let the stresses and struggles control them. I do not like people who are always sad and always have bad things to say about things, because i am a strong believer of  “laws of attraction“.

Eager-This is broad but I guess what I mean is I find eagerness for learning to be very attractive. I have such a thirst for knowledge and love meeting others that do too because then I am able to learn even more. I am allowed the gift of a different perspective.

Digression– I am not in anyway attracted to quiet people, I am a big, fat talker and quiet people with cold eyes make it very easy to make you feel bad about being a talkative and the fact that they can easily tell word for word what you have just said makes it even worse, I am afraid of them actually, because silence can mean a lot of things and if I’m not able to figure you out then i cant be close to you.

There are other qualities (many other qualities) that people have drawn me in with. Attraction is a concept in which we tend to label in the manner of romance but in truth we are all attracted to each other in some way or another whether we are friends, lovers or even complete strangers.

The U in YOU


Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to dig deep inside to muster the strength to go on and overcome sudden hardship.  It is in those times, when situations look hopeless, it is you that can find a way to come together and triumph.  With gritty determination, teamwork, and good old fashion gumption, i came out on top sometime ago.

I remember the first exam i missed in my university, it was a though course, and as a medical student, you can’t afford a D.. I had a guardian who was a lecturer and assured me i was going to write a make-up exam and should just get well. Well i did get well and i did write the make-up exams and did well but still i was tired already, i was tired of having to struggle too hard and i could imagine doing it for the next 6-8 years of my life all to become a doctor. Have always wanted to be a doctor since i was in primary 4,i had my first lab coat in  primary 5 and a stethoscope to match, i had the white dull shoes and i could do CPR, first Aids and all at 12years old, in my senior secondary i was made the health prefect and these things were to me, signs from God, my Gmama would call me doctor of our time as they all knew how obsessed i was with doctors, i would do a lot of researches and confront doctors any chance i get.
Well, the journey was soon ended when a list of the medical students came out and my name was missing, of course i was happy but i didn’t want to be dropped i wanted to drop. Now the problem was what next? I needed to decide what next in two weeks or less, i wasn’t ready, i practically am the first in my family, friends were confusing and my parents were of no help, because they wanted me to study medicine. One faithful afternoon, i had an appointment with my doctor and he ordered a young pretty girl to run some tests on me and she asked what i was studying in school, i said i don’t know, she was like huh? Ok, what department are you, i said; i don’t know. Then she tried speaking pidgin or yoruba then i smiled, i understand you perfectly i said, i just don’t know because i have been kicked out medicine which am glad but i don’t know what i want. She sighed and said, i was also kicked out of medicine that’s why i chose a course to stay close to doctors. Right there and then i thought i knew what i wanted. I wanted to be a Radiologist or a microbiologist.
I went back to school all smiles and fulfilled, i prayed to God and thanked him for always giving me signs and i did my registrations, i was back to being a student, did my tests and went for lectures, i was happy again, i was always glad and i was sure i would make very good grades. Then one day, just 2weeks to the exams, after i had copied my time table at my faculty, i saw a notice on the board in red and myself and many others were asked to report at the faculty office the day before. I was afraid and wondered why? I was more angry than afraid because nobody had told me of this notice, i called a few friends and apparently they didn’t know either, we all gathered and headed to the dean’s office.
I didn’t have the slightest idea as to why he called us but i knew it was for good, then he said;

“Why are you just coming? ( We tried to explain but he shut us up) well, the faculty is full and you all did your registration late but it won’t be fair so we split you into two groups those with above 3points and those below, those below should go and register with another faculty and the rest should check their names on this list.”
I was terrified for some of my friends because they didn’t make up to 3points and i was more terrified because we had just 2weeks to exams. I checked for my name and i didn’t find it. He screamed at me to check again but it wasn’t there, tears rolled down my eyes, i wasn’t sure what was happening but i knew i was in trouble. He said; ” it means you’re no longer a student of this school. I can remember all this words exactly because they were mean and from an old, heartless man called Prof WHO. (His son used to be my friend) he said; what were you doing when your mates were registering? He asked so many questions and never allowed me to answer. My CGPA was 3.75 how can i not make the school when a lot are in with much more less. I left his office in tears and fears. Headed to my department and the Head of microbiology said; that was the new rule, late registration, no identity. I thought of so many things but i wasn’t going to give up…




in reply to:

Don’t know where to start or how to put this in words, memories flood my head as i recall the times we share, the smiles the frown the tears the pain the anger and the joy .

it all started so innocently for the honest intentions of a boy trying to help a crying girl to the unexpected evolution from friends to lovers
she came and she showed me care and kindness, attention and devotion all coming in a time when i thought no ONE really did care, I’ve had experiences with woman but she showed me a whole new kind of relationship, ours wasn’t the typical relationship, we played like kids and acted like children but still not loosing sight of ourselves.
we let ourselves go and enjoyed every moment we spent together, she was the light that was at the end of the tunnel. we shared stories and shared emotions, we cuddled up and watched movies, we shared songs and spent the best times together.

it wasn’t all fun and games, she still was hooked on her ex and i was trying to let go of mine as well, i was jealous and somehow i felt i didn’t have the right to be, what used to get me the most was that i would be right by her side and she’ll be talking to her ex, at first i didn’t mind much until it seems to get worse.
i wanted to be the first person she spoke to each morning and the last at night but somehow he seem to always beat me to it, and when i was with her it was like she was with him, because she spent most of our times together either talking to him or texting him. yes i still had issues to deal with my ex but i didn’t bring it between us.
somehow we went through it all and still found ways to enjoy each others company, we were like two lost souls who had found companionship after a long and fruitless search, she made me feel like no other had, i didn’t have to pretend when i was around her, i could be the child and the man at the same time, as much as i hated people doing things for me, somehow i was comfortable with her helping me, and every other girl didn’t seem to exist with her in my life.
she was the reason for my morning smiles and my joyous times. how could one person mean so much to someone else, how could she make me feel like dis without doing much, how could i miss her so much when i was just with her 5mins ago?
she was warm and kind caring to a fault, sometimes she was rude and very jealous but she always listened when i spoke, it was amazing that she could calm me down with just a smile.

Things started to go sour, we fought and argued and fought and argued some more, it got worse and i started to zone out, i went abroad for awhile and things only seemed to get worse, maybe it was cause i was expecting her to get back with her ex during that break. i couldn’t help but anticipate it, it started to affect me, i got distant and i started to pull away, hide my feelings so much it seemed like i started to suffocate it. when i got back and she was waiting i wanted to get things right but the damage i had done was so great that it had also affect her as well, she was distant and cold she wasn’t my baby anymore, it was like we was together not because we wanted to be but because we couldn’t let go for some reason. it killed me to know i was the reason all dis was happening.
How could i have done this to someone that meant the world to me, how could i possibly have loved this wonderful lady and yet hurt her so much, was i so horrible a person that i could cause another human so much pain?
For the first time in a long time i was scared and confused and worried and lost all at once, i used to be the one everyone ran to when they needed advice, i used to be the one that had all the answers and yet i couldn’t find me when i need me the most.
Sometimes i wounder maybe if i had done things a little differently she’ll still be with me, maybe if i had done more and given more, maybe if i had smiled more and worried less things would have turned out different. Maybe if i wasn’t so caught up in my own worry i would have seen the tears in her eyes and the pain in her heart, maybe i would have felt the pain that she felt and maybe just maybe i would have got it right.
I cant change the past so i wont even try, i just want you to know that i am sorry for the hurt, pain and tears i must have caused you and somehow when we see again we can sit and remember the times we shared with a smile on our face.


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