MY MOTHER – HBBD

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Who sat and watched my infant head
When sleeping on my cradle bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed?
My Mother.

When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gazed upon my heavy eye,
And wept for fear that I should die?
My Mother.

Who taught my infant lips to pray
And love God’s holy book and day,
And walk in wisdom’s pleasant way?
My Mother.

And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who wast so very kind to me,
My Mother?

Ah, no! the thought I cannot bear,
And if God please my life to spare
I hope I shall reward they care,
My Mother.

When thou art feeble, old and grey,
My healthy arm shall be thy stay,
And I will soothe thy pains away,
My Mother.
Ann Taylor

Aisha n Josh ~ episode 13

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I had been out for 3hours, even my mom feared for my life, she was been assured of my well being, i was just short on blood and lack of energy. Waking up at about 10pm the ward was empty, My mum was still beside me, holding him so close. He was small, red and dark headed. I rolled over to get comfort, my mum called on the nurses, they checked on me and confirmed i was fine. They welcomed me to life with smiles and teases of how lazy i was, i wasn’t exactly eager to hold him but i always loved miracles, he his my miracle.
Mum handed him over, he was fragile and tiny, i was afraid i would crush him. Breast milk was all over me, immediately i held him close he cried, he’δ not had milk for last few hours. I didn’t know what to do, even i had watched women feed their babies it didn’t occur to me what next to do. He was screaming so loud, i started shedding tears, i was afraid i’ll never be up to the task, i will never be able to make him smile, i will never be the right mother for him and i was too afraid to start the new life right on my alms. I was consoled and encouraged by everyone around. My mum helped me raise him up to a more comfortable position he sucked like he has been practising from the womb. My breasts ached so much, i couldn’t even retrieve them from his warm lips. I watched and caressed him till he slept off.
The next day didn’t start easy, had to mother-routines, these things don’t just come like the usual house chores but its joyful because every seconds reminds you of how miraculous your life is. On the 17th of September my life took a new turn. I felt true Joy for once in my life, i was ready to makeup for all the L♥√ع i didn’t show him from the day i found out he was changing my whole world. But sincerely, my mum was most excited. I took the opportunity to ask her if she had heard from Aman, she nodded showing me my phone. Aman had been calling and sending me message. He even sent me a picture of my red baby with a caption “like papa(me)”. Seeing that brought a big grin to my face. I was glad someone outside my family had my back. Even before i dropped the phone, he called again, we spoke non-stop until “red baby” interrupted.
Two days passed, i was discharged from the hospital, as much as my mum would have loved to celebrate, circumstances won’t allow. Getting back home was welcoming and relaxing. Aman was waiting with lots of gifts and smiles. I was too shy to even look up to him, he was eager to receive red baby from my mum. After settling and resting, i remembered the last thing i saw immediately after my delivery, I asked my mum about it. She insisted it was Aman and his friend.
Confirming it wasn’t Aman’s friend brought much more concern to me than my mum. Things had settled and red baby was named “Aahil Basim” smiling prince, Basim was my Father’s name and Aahil-prince was the next thing i could think of. I loved him more and more by the day. Aman stood by me. He would check on us every night. He his truly a blessed man. Sometime in December he brought his Grandma to see us. My son! (Yes, he’s mine and mine alone) keeps growing bigger and healthier. It took no re consideration to cancel furthering my education in Cyprus, i just couldn’t imagine leaving Aahil, i won’t even concentrate, my whole world now revolves around him.
It was new year’s eve and as expected, you get many calls, texts and emails. I usually don’t pay attention to most of them, Aahil is too troublesome to even let me concentrate on social media. But this particular email struck me. It was from Josh. I really wish to copy and paste his message here but i had promised not to expose anymore personal messages.
His last words were ” a known devil is better than an unknown angel”. I obviously remember every bit i had with him, his mother’s words to mine. All the pain, the scars and the regrets. Aman has been there for me, he’s not asked me for anything, he’s the man my son knows. He’s hard working and God fearing. He is everything you want in a being not just a man. Even though he hasn’t asked, i know he’s only giving me time to heal. This i know because of how many times we’ve had to talk about us. He knows everyone around me and I’m sure if he had more friends and family to show i would have known them. How can Josh just show up because he thinks he can, how???

kindly comment and share, thanks

dont stop!

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playing sound track –  DONT STOP!

Earlier this morning at about 12: 23 am i was trying to re assure myself that i was on the right track, a lot have been going on in my life recently, i need to make major decisions that would affect me for the next first two years of my life and these first two years will also build who i intend to become in the next five years which would be about three years from the first two years ( well that’s how confusing my thought process have become) I am a people’s person but i recently have been tagged strong so getting concrete advice from people have been hard because even they come to me for some. I have been stuck with myself, twitter, my new job role, new series and my latest best male friend. Even though all these things and people give me hope and make me see a sweet reflection of myself i cant seem to get a grip of it. i looked through a cupboard where i keep books and files and finding my 2011 black book on a normal ground was suppose to make me feel great about my self because truly i have evolved, i am a better person, i write for pleasure and inspiration, i have my coy registered, i am in-love with myself, i have a good job and good colleagues, i have a complete healthy family, i have a close boyfriend 🙂 ( yeah right), i have people who look up to me, i am gracefully serving my father’s land, i have almost finished my first book, i have a lot of inspirations and aspirations, my fashion line is growing, i am becoming a better muslimah. God has been faithful but really and truly within myself i do not feel fulfilled and in August I had a major breakdown because i couldn’t figure out what i truly wanted for my self what i am truly good at doing, people’s idea of who i am is gradually taking me away from my personal goals and dreams, pride is beginning to set in, fear and sense of incompleteness is almost taking over my personality.


But alas! i have so much to be grateful for, so so much i can not mention all, I needed something to keep me going something to help drive my decision making process, something to curb my fears, something…. just something to make choosing between three major careers of my life and prioritizing my next goals EASIER. I couldn’t find, i got bored of thinking, I spoke to a friend and the same thing was said ” you have great potential, i respect you so much and i wish you can see a reflection of what you are, you inspire people, you make people feel good about themselves, you create lives and mentor both young and old” these were her words, i wasn’t exactly touched because i hear them at least once in a while. my mum reminds me everyday of how proud of me she is, my sisters looks up to me, i am currently mentoring 3o kids into entrepreneurship but i just dont feel fulfilled.
Having what i want sometimes make me act silly I remeber one sunday morning I woke up with this hunger for “akara”, I tweeted about it and got a very good friend and neighbour of mine @hobalola to be interested too, we set out to buy akara knowing fully well we might not get it, we asked several people on twitter and got several responses, after trying about six spots on the adeniji adele axis, we dashed to his friend (@engr_ejo)’s house hoping to get akara around his aboda, but unfortunately we didnt, he contacted the akara virus immediately, the rain poured heavily after we waited a few minutes we agreed it wont be a bad idea if we scouted for akara under d rain before the people selling pack up, we got two umbrellas and swappped simultaneously as we roamed the street of lagos looking for akara, we had covered the west part of eko in an hour under the rain and in the flood looking for akara, it got to a point we wouldnt mind were they were frying akara for someone’s burial but we didnt see, apparently people stopped dying on the island or maybe no one died 41 days ago,abi?.

Another 30minutes had passed it was already half 11 am, we were hungry and tired, found a nice spot to chill and eat puff puff. it was so nice but we were not tempted into remitting our money to the mallam frying it. This time we were at Idumota coming from Tinubu Square, on getting there i called a cousin of mine who promised we would see in their area, I was so happy and glad, we draggedourselves down and up the dirty streets of Idumota going to the obas palace around were my cousin stays, we got there with hopes and smiles on our dear faces, we sat on a bench just by the corner, it had been a great journey after searching for akara on a rainy sunday, we finally got to a spot were we would find. my cousin arrived and gave the bad news that the woman had packedup, i was sad and close to tears, i really do want to eat akara that day, i havent had it since the begining of the year and i never start what i wont finish. i felt defeated i was willing to go all the way to Ebute Metta or even Ikorodu if i would find the akara but everyone discouraged me that it was a sunday afternoon already and no one would fry akara 9 ofcourse i added that to my goals that some day soon, i would sell sunday akara and other stuff people dont get to see and buy on sundays).
Before heading back home, i went to greet my grandaunt as you know(if you pass in front of obas palace you must greet him) she scolded me at my foolish adventure into finding akara and blamed the jobless boys who followed me all the way and said ” cant you fry akara in your house?” wow! non of us thought of that but even if we did, i dont know how todo it, i have never tried it. it was time to go home and we realised we had spent all the N200 we had to buy akara on transport and puff puff, it means even if we saw akara, there would be no money to buy it. foolish us. but atleast we tried, we got back home really tired and angry but you know what? we didnt Stop!


we didnt stop our quest, we bought beans, pilled it together, added neccessary sauce: fish, beef, oil, pepe and the likes, mixed it up and started frying. we didnt know how to measure or fry after the first set got burnt, we did the next very well. it came out in funny shapes and sizes but the outcome was great and delicious, we shared with family and friends and now our story and stupid journey was worth it.
At this time 3:45am i thought to myself, even though everyone thinks I’m fulfilled, some think i have arrived and some dont even recognise me, my personal golas have not been achieved, though i might be confused and helpless but i will buy my beans, make my mixture, fry my akara and I wont stop trying! and the few i don’t get right i will seek help.

dont stop!!!!

women in Islam

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Asalam alaikumn, waramatu lahi wabarakatu

Been a while, How are my beloved readers doing? I hope insha Allah we are doing exceedingly well.
Been so down of recent and the act of writing has been missing plus i have been working round the clock, trying to beat time and breaking my own record. Alhamdulilah, am still on track, with your non stop prayers and wishes.

During my course of silence and non-blogging, a lot of things crossed path my ever busy mind, which will be revealed in this week’s posts. Please enjoy.

Status of Women in ISLAM

According to the Qur’an, men and women are equal before God; women are not blamed for violating the “forbidden tree,” nor is their suffering in pregnancy and childbirth a punishment for that act.

Islam sees a woman, whether single or married, as an individual in her own right, with the right to own and dispose of her property and earnings. A marital gift is given by the groom to the bride for her own personal use, and she may keep her own family name rather than adopting her husband’s. Roles of men and women are complementary and collaborative. Rights and responsibilities of both sexes are equitable and balanced in their totality.

Both men and women are expected to dress in a way that is simple, modest and dignified; specific traditions of female dress found in some Muslim countries are often the expression of local customs rather than religious principle. Likewise, treatment of women in some areas of the Muslim world sometimes reflects cultural practices which may be inconsistent, if not contrary, to authentic Islamic teaching..

The messenger of God said

“The most perfect in faith amongst believers is he who is best in manner and kindest to his wife.”

Women in Islam

At a time when Islam is faced with hostile media coverage particularly where the status of women in Islam is concerned, it may be quite surprising to learn that the majority of converts to Islam are WOMEN

The Muslim woman was given a role, duties and rights 1400 years ago that most women do not enjoy today, even in the West. These are designed to keep balance in society; what may seem unjust or missing in one place is compensated for or explained in another place.

FACTS NOT FICTION

This information has been written with the objective of briefing you on the true Islamic teaching regarding women laid down by the Quran and prophet Mohammad over 14 centuries ago.

Islam declared women and men equal.

Islam condemned pre-Islamic practices degrading and oppressing women.

The same injunctions and prohibitions of Islam equally apply to both sexes.

Islam gave woman the right of inheritance and the right of individual independent ownership unhampered by father, husband, brother, son or anyone else.

Islam gave women the right to accept or reject a marriage proposal free from pressure, and by mutual agreement to specify in the marriage contract that she has the right to divorce (if she misses that option she has the right to seek court divorce if she deems the marriage to have failed beyond repair).

Islam does not require woman to change her name at marriage.

Islam protects the family and condemns the betrayal of marital infidelity. It recognizes only one type of family: husband and wife united by authentic marriage contract.

Jazakum Allah kairan….. Please share! May Allah Make the rest of this month, easy for us. AMIN!

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AISHA n JOSH episode 4

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The Question got me confused. I looked down, Josh‘s lamentation raced through my head. He had complained about how his mum just hates Muslims. He was perplexed; her reasons for such hate were best known to her. I was a bit stunned by the question, completely unprepared for it, Josh seemed prepared so he answered her with a church name I had never heard of. Her face lit up with such a wide smile, one would wonder if she were the one getting engaged. I entered into her outstretched arms and took the warm embrace, still wondering what was happening

She spoke to me like I was her dream daughter-In-Law, I should have been so pleased by the delight in her voice and the excitement as she spoke but I all but resembled her that dream daughter-in-law her son had been telling her about.  Josh had lied about me. I wondered within me which of the emotions I felt was stronger; shame or anger. I couldn’t wait to leave their house and scream out all within me that was bottled up. she was obviously happy with her son because he had never brought home any girl, and now she had made the only one he did uncomfortable. She smiled all the more, trying to make up for it, I was not moved.

Immediately I was alone with Josh outside his house, I turned an angry face. I usually am a timid person but I had enough courage to confront him on why he had lied about me to his mother. He begged and begged for me to listen to him, explaining that his mother is a very tribal person. I could not understand because I was no racist, sexist, ageist, or any -ist so why would someone at that age and status be? From that moment I harboured questions about my relationship with Josh. “Things will get settled once I tell my dad the truth”; was the final word he said before I left. It gave me some comfort and I grew optimistic. I left for Kogi the next day.

I missed Josh so much I could barely think of any other thing or guy, I made few friends and shared my story with them, they loved Josh already but were all worried about his parents rejection of me. I hid under the cover that Josh and I were just kidding around. They were not deceived.  It was obvious I was only consoling myself.

Two months passed since I left school and communication between Josh and I went on smooth. He often spoke of how much he missed me and wanted to see me. He had concluded he was going to take the job at cyprus and we planned i would move over there to study a master’s program of my choice. My mum bought the idea without me mentioning josh as my reason. Things went on as planned. 2 weeks before he was to leave the country, I travelled down to see him. We had a whole week to ourselves, having fun in our usual way. We had hope it will all work out fine.

Things changed and he cared less but I didn’t bother myself too much because I thought it was pressure and stress from travel preparations, I saw pictures of many him and a particular girl on his phone. He gave me different answers each time I asked. I didn’t care because he was leaving town soon and all these girls won’t see him to trouble again. I helped pack his bags and found his travel ticket and passport, it says; UK!
UK? You told me cyprus and showed me your invitation letters, why UK now? He calmed me down as i raised my voice, told me he was going to the UK to get his Visa and do more interviews. My questions were why didn’t he tell me. But he had no reply. I immediately knew Josh had been lying to me. He just kept saying sorry but i didn’t understand. Tears filled my eyes as my leave day approached. The day before, he asked me in the morning when i was leaving i told him “tomorrow” he said; “can’t you leave today? You know i have to go see my family and spend few nights with them. I told him i could stay alone and leave the next day. We argued it for hours before he left in anger. He called severally, i didn’t pick because i was angry.

When Josh returned at about 8pm that day, he said i just had to leave that he can’t leave me in the house. he ordered me to pack my bags and go stay with a friend, i couldn’t figure what went wrong and why he would treat me like that. I called his friend to beg him and i begged him to forgive me for not picking his calls and pleaded that he should let me stay till the next day but he declined. I had no cash on me and i didn’t want to go to a friend but i had to, he said he couldn’t drop me off because he was tired. I left in tears, fear, anger and confusion. When i got to my friend’s she hugged me and told me things would be fine. I wanted to call him again when i realised i forgot my phone there.

I took a bike back to his house, my friend wanted to come but i didn’t allow her because i didn’t want her to see us argue or fight. On getting there; i knocked severally, he didn’t open, i decided to peep through the room window, my heart dropped to my feet and my jaw to my chest at what i saw.

episode 3

episode 2

episode 1

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10 great goals of Ramadan

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I'm here!!! \=D/ \=D/ \=D/

I’m here!!! \=D/ \=D/ \=D/

Asalam alaikum,

Am so happy to finally be here, its so beautiful and unique, filled with blessing and change! Change which is watch-word. Islam is full of joy, peace and respect. As we start today Insha Allah bikurati lah, may we be amongst those that will scream Alhamdulilah at the end and may almighty Allah accept it as an act of ibadah. AMIN!

To start the gracious month, here are some things to look out for:

1. Eat, drink and be moderate

Almost all of us do it – once Iftar time hits, we just keep plowing food and drink into our mouths till it’s hard to move afterwards. And those of us who do it know this is totally contrary to the spirit of Ramadan, through which we’re supposed to learn self-control not self-indulgence. Let’s try to stick to the Prophetic rule on eating: fill our stomachs with one-third food, one-third water and one-third breathing space, even in Ramadan.

2. Give a dollar a day in charity…or five or ten

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was always generous but even more so in Ramadan. Let’s open our hearts and dig a little deeper in our wallets this year. Even less than a dollar a day adds up. Whatever you can give, it’s the intention that counts.

3. Memorize 4 new Surahs

Memorizing the Quran often seems like a daunting task. But the key is doing it in small bites. Since there are four weeks in Ramadan, try to memorize one new Surah a week. Start off with a short, easy one. Once you’ve started, you’ll build momentum and may even want to memorize a
longer one the following week.

4. Go to Tarawih prayers

Post-Iftar, the first urge is to sleep after an exhausting day. But try your best to head out to the mosque for Tarawih prayers. Praying alone is wonderful, but doing it in congregation is fantastic. The community spirit is part of Ramadan’s blessings. Don’t miss it this
year. If going every day is not possible, try going at least one week.

5. Attend the Tarawih prayer in which the recitation of the Quran will
be finished

Call the local mosque and find out which day the Imam will be finishing the recitation of the Quran in prayer. Attend to not only hear part of the Quran’s recitation in prayer, but also participate in the heart-rending Duas that follow it.

6. Stop swearing and/or backbiting – with a special box

It’s hard not to shoot our mouths off when someone’s upset us. Whether we utter those four-letter words or backbite about someone to our family and friends, we know this isn’t the God-approved way of letting off steam. In Ramadan, when we want to build our spirituality, we’ve got to wage Jihad against our bad habits.

Try this: get a box and every time you catch yourself swearing or backbiting put some money in it. It could be a buck or less. The point is to choose an amount that makes it feel like punishment.

At the end of the month send the money to a charity or buy a gift for
the person whom you’ve backbitten the most against.

7. Call/email your relatives

You’d think that given the easy access to email, competitive long-distance calling rates, phone cards, etc. these days, we’d keep in touch with family and friends more often. But the opposite seems to be the case, as we get caught up in life’s “busyness.”

Strengthening ties with family members and keeping in touch with
friends is part of our way of life and an act Allah is very pleased
with. This Ramadan, call family and friends or at least email them a
Ramadan card and ask them how their fasting is going.

8. Go on a technology diet

Even if you work in the IT industry, you can do this. Avoid checking
personal email and surfing the web during your fast. After Iftar,
instead of plopping yourself in front of the screen, go to Tarawih.
The same goes for the television. The point is to try to give our full
attention to spiritual elevation this month.

9. Read 5 minutes of Quran a day…just five, not more, not less

Even if you feel you’ve got absolutely no time, set a timer or the
alarm on your cell phone and find a relatively quiet place. You can
read the first page of the Quran you open or follow a sequence. The
choice is yours. The point is simply to connect with God through His
revelation in the month of the Quran.

10. Forgive everyone who has hurt you

Still got a festering wound from the fight with your friend last year?
Still upset about something your spouse said during a heated argument?
Or are you still bitter about the way your parents sometimes treated
you as a kid? Let go of the anger and pain this Ramadan and forgive
those who have hurt you. Forgiving someone is not only good for the
body, but it’s also great for the soul. And in Ramadan, ten days of
which are devoted to Allah’s forgiveness, shouldn’t we lesser beings
forgive too?

If you find it very difficult to forgive everyone, forgive at least
three people.

PS: knowing is not enough, doing is not superb but sharing with willingness is a great deal. Jazakum lahi kairan.

Barka jumah- MASALAM

Father, Dadddy or Both?

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Good morning Blog-ville, how was the weekend?

I really should have posted this yesterday but i got so occupied, am so sorry.

Yesterday, June 17th,2012 was father’s day; HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.

It was a calling for me and many others as i noticed through their updates, tweets, Facebook messages and numerous broadcasts, i almost called my father or at least text him but then my ego or lets say pride wont let me, don’t blame me i learnt that from him. i love my father, no doubt, i miss him so much but not enough to let go of my ego, he though me that too. (karma.. lol)

Back to the topic, father-daddy-both; which are you? which do you have? which will you be? which will you have?

A father: is defined as the male parent or individual progenitor of human offspring

To father: a verb is to procreate or to sire a child from which also derives the gerund fathering.

Traditionally, fathers act in a protective, supportive and responsible way towards their children. Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by their doing so. Active father figures may play a role in reducing behavior and psychological problems in young men and women. An increased amount of father–child involvement may help increase a child’s social stability, educational achievement, and their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult.

The above concluding that a father’s role is very important in a child’s life.

prayers for those who lost theirs and kudos to those who took their place.

Daddy is an affectionate, familiar term, form of direct address, or nickname for a father.

DADDY IS THE RESPONSIBLE, PROTECTIVE AND SUPPORTIVE ROLE OF A FATHER

This is where i am going, being a father doesn’t necessarily mean your are a daddy and vice vars a, usually there’s a misconception but truly a daddy is more daring, desiring and chilling than a father, a father sounds and is more forceful, like the only reason is to bring you to the world, of course anyone can be a father (if fertile or potent) but not everyone is or will be a daddy (be it fertile or potent) fatherhood entails the role of daddy-hood but most men have lost this in the trance of worldly views and ego.

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special mind to be a daddy- m’ade

A lot of fathers have become irresponsible and nonchalant, usually from hate of mother or just the natural sense of not caring, leaving their roles for another man or mostly the woman to handle forgetting the above said of how a child’s life is dependent on how he/she is being raised and believing that no matter what the child would home to them, contrary to this assumptions or believe many of them are at the loosing end, leaving child to waste away or having them struggle, molested by the new father or even being robed.

A father doesn’t always have to be there as we have late-father, absent-father, sperm donor, baby-daddy as the case maybe. A father’s love should be genuine and always forthcoming, there should be full sense of responsibility and remorse when he cant meet up, a father should be aware and current of the child’s situation. All these are and more are what qualifies him as a daddy.

A good father would not manage a company and let it crumble or govern a state with a heartless mind, let alone president a black country with black days and night, watch the video Michelle Obama made for Obama yesterday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz28tO2IIeM

All these starts from now, all the uncaring, nonchalant and heart act of treating people, handling situations and answering questions leads to the father in you, the father you will be and the father you possess. This is not one sided, this goes to both male and female.

You cannot and shouldn’t hate a child because of the mother, don’t marry someone you don’t want to see a child in, do not bring to this cruel world a child you will not be responsible for, because it is even a sin to be irresponsible, whatever becomes of your child, good or bad, you shall be accountable for by the almighty.

when a father gives to his son, both laugh, when a son to his father, both cry – William Shakespeare

It is a wise father who knows his child.  But maybe it’s a very wise child who takes time to know his father – Anonymous

A wise son maketh a glad father- Proverbs 10:1

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence -Budington Kelland

The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7 

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.  ~Author Unknown

These are the Muslim men I want my son to grow up to be like, and for your sons to grow up to be like — full of love, wit, compassion and generosity, with a deep respect for women, and a commitment to serving God by serving humanity.

As a Muslim father, I must shoulder an enormous responsibility, both fiscal and religious, and this responsibility is first encountered before I even have any children at all.-Hesham A. Hassaballa

Failing to provide for the children after divorce will not only get a Muslim father in trouble with the authorities, but he will also get into very big trouble with God Almighty.Hesham A. Hassaballa

lastly:
“All of you are shepherds, and you are all responsible for your flocks. The father in his home is a shepherd, and he is responsible for his flock…” The word in Arabic for “responsible” is mas’ul. This word also means “that about which one will be asked.” Thus, the tradition can also be translated as, “The father in his home is a shepherd, and he will be asked by God about his flock.”