Lost art of conversation

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In behavior, culture, parenting, Technology, urban life, life, domestic life, family, children

At home, families sit together, texting and reading e-mail. At work executives text during board meetings. We text (and shop and go on Facebook) during classes and when we’re on dates…

We’ve become accustomed to a new way of being “alone together.” Technology-enabled, we are able to be with one another, and also elsewhere, connected to wherever we want to be. We want to customize our lives. We want to move in and out of where we are because the thing we value most is control over where we focus our attention. We have gotten used to the idea of being in a tribe of one, loyal to our own party.

One of the rituals I enjoy with my friends is the few moments i get to share with them when i leave work before heading to my house or the weekends just before we go out. This 30minutes physical conversation always bring life into what we share…

But sitting across the table from someone, sharing a glass of wine or cup of coffee, seems to have become an unimaginable luxury. How else can we ever get to know one another? New things happen everyday That take a lot of trust and courage. I don’t think most of us would want to share such intimacy only through a computer or phone screen.

I love road trips, 4-6 hours with my friends or family. You get a lot said, and the silences are companion-able and even when am travelling alone, i make new friends..

Recently, i threw a birthday party and for the first few hours there were only few people. Instead of meeting and networking, everyone was busy on the blackberry social media pinging, tweeting and facebooking. When did we finally lose the touch of meeting people and walking up to them. How many of your  contacts have you actually met or how many do we even call.

At a point i though it was the DJ but then, i realised it wasn’t because if you came with your friend and another with his girlfriend and they can’t take that time to connect or have a lovely conversation. Then truly conversation is lost. After i shuffled them and mixed people up, then conversation started, mostly like a reunion for some and a new meet for others.

Now, a guy sees a girl he likes and usually, he should walk up to her, all he does is ask for her pin or facebook name. Its getting more awkward by the day as we all focus and measure the amount of L♥√ع someone has for us by this social network aided by TECHNOLOGY forgetting that most people don’t remember you until facebook reminds them or there’s a mention on twitter and mostly updates on bbm.

I cannot stand a month virtual conversation without a meet, only exceptions of very long distances. And that’s when i can share my mobile number with you, so i can place a voice to that personality
.
As you can see, conversation is my oxygen. I love meeting fun new people and hearing their stories.

Do you make time in your life now for face to face conversations?

With whom and how often?

If not, do you miss them?

my evolution

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I thank GOD  Almighty for keeping you and i till this day 24-o5-12. from the day i was born 24-05-90 at exactly 12:24:05, my doctor has said i was a special breed.

I thank everyone that took there time to wish me a happy birthday, i thank all those that sent messages, and posts, all the funny pictures of me and all the prayers, i just cant say thank you enough but if 200 and counting are repping me on their display pictures and my twitter mentions is over 300 with the uncountable Facebook posts and net logs and the likes. i thank NOKIA for sending me a special birthday song and every other organizations that started my day.

i just feel i owe you more;

please do not laugh

i was just a day old

the day after my birth..

22years later

22 years later

i was named

i was named: Maryam Funmilayo Ajoke Morenikeji Olajumoke Adelaja Oluwapamilerinayo Olamiposinuoluwa ADEBOLA

and my names survive

smiles

and i clocked 2 in a red dress :

i was 3 and that’s my wonderful daddy

on my 4th birthday with my lil sis and mu

clocked 5 in a denim with my bf 😀

i rocked denim yesterday in memory of my 5th birthday. lol

another birthday in red 😀

THE FACE CAP IS BEEN WAY BACK 😀

ONE OF THE 2 BIRTHDAYS I EVER CELEBRATED..

and then i graduated………

currently serving my green country

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, i am 22 years old and i cannot in any way explain the epitome of joy in my heart but hopefully when i settle, i can.

God bless you my special friend, for the fireworks you put off at 5am this morning having driven all the way from IKEJA to my house on the island, Gosh! that was awesome! i just hope you took a picture.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone else for the gifts i have received ( will post pictures later). SEE Y’ALL AT MY EXCLUSIVE PARTY!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

TODAY IN HISTORY

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Am one of the happiest breed on earth today, well i have been for over a week now, the act of writing even made me a more fulfilled person. I cannot begin to emphasize on the things that are filling my long broken hearts but am sure a lot of you my readers would have noticed in my last few posts.

I am HAPPY… for the first time in a while I can truly say that and am, forever grateful to God.

Today in history(22-05-10), history was M’ADE,  a talent was M’ADE, ideas were M’ADE, a decision was M’ADE and if that day or days after or even months after someone (even my mum) told me it was going to be M’ADE then i would have given the dis-believe look.

As a child I have always had encouragements and drives, I am the all knowing breed, who was interested in many things and today it has not stopped.

Wondering what am talking about? well am talking about a grace that was sent upon me through my very own organization “AIESEC” (DRUM ROLLS), FRIENDS, COLLEAGUES AND FAMILY. it was first to be a team leader and then i discovered my weakness of talking too much, i wasn’t condemned but embraced to turn my talkativeness into speaking for a cause, and to speak for a cause, you have to know what you are talking about so i developed myself to finding out things which brought about the researcher in me.

why do i care so much? well, that was ordained from the day i was m’ade. being the first from both my parents who are firsts from both their parents has given me about 40cousins whom i have cared and still care for.  I knew i always did a good job if every weekend their parents came to dump them in my house :D.

I can remember telling my mum at 18 that i want my own kids (lmao) but really since i cant have my own kids yet, i decided i will care for kids that cant have their own parents yet. I will go states to states and town to town just to spend days with the motherless, prepare projects that will care for the needy. even though many i didn’t spend my money or time on but at least my ideas would drive people to do something.

This went on for few months when i was given a task to come up with an agenda for “AIESEC DINNER”. it was tough but then we came up with a very good one, there was no designer available for the fashion show we included then someone came up with the idea that i have beautiful set of clothes and since most of my friends copy my style, we could just style models and make it a style show instead. i was proud to tell them that 95% of my clothes were designed by me, it was a shock when after the event about 20people wanted me to design their next dinner gowns, i couldn’t disagree.

I thank you all from that moment that even though i didn’t sew the clothes myself, you supported me, you encouraged me, you gave me extra pays just to believe in myself, i thank all the organizations that helps with my projects. i thank all my customers and clients, i thank those that joined along the way(I THANK THOSE THAT LEFT), i thank all my mentors. I thank my mum and i thank God for never letting me down, ( i am actually crying in my office right now).

Today, I am only 21years old and 363days old but I am a researcher, an event planner (minor), stylist, A fashion designer, A writer, A mother(LOL aunty)  to many kids,  A mentor, A project executor and yes you can call me an OLIVER TWIST or even as my best fan would say GIFTED HANDS but I’ll rather be called M’ADE , reason being God made me and left nothing undone just like he made you and blessed you even more.

22-05-10 hopefully we can all celebrate 20years and more down the road. GRACIAS !!!

whatever you are doing now, please make sure its for a good cause, because where words go, legs don’t ever get.

LIKE AND FF @made_creations MADE CREATIONS on twitter and Facebook.

ode to monday

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At 5:45 a.m. it begins with an incessant beep-beep-beep

I fumble clumsily for the alarm, eyes still closed because I didn’t get enough sleep

I could have gone to bed early; I always say that I will

But as the final moments of my weekend slip away, I desperately cling to the thrill

How is it already Monday?

Eventually i decided to start the week but wanted to turn over, i woke up again it was 6:02 am

i was late for solat, i woke-up to bath and said my prayers.

Resting my face in my palms as I think about the week that lies ahead

put on my clothes… look my best, it is Monday, after all.

I will lose my keys, say my byes and have to make a run for the bus

I was at my door when the heavy breeze blew my face away

I wondered what it was but then the down pour came, i went back to my room to take a nap 😀

Hopefully this rain lasts the whole day or I will make it to work just too late

Mother, called on me as she brought in my breakfast,

Yellow and milky it was, one of the simplest meal i still cant make – custard

I looked up and smiled at her

As i cleared my cup so did the sky clear

I’ll have to face my boss if he made it earlier to work

About to jump a bike when i heard a slit.. oh my red pretty skirt tore

Not to worry am still home, changed my below and threw on a wooly pant.

Got to the office an hour and half later than usual.

Time for proper breakfast

It’s then that I’ll realize I forgot my purse.

Oh, the life of an office drone.

'the office drone"

HAVE A GREAT WEEK……… :*

music is life

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What are some of your favorite songs?

Music is everything. In just a matter of seconds your mood can change entirely by listening to a song. I don’t tend to steer toward any type of music. I am more the type of person that enjoys the lyrics of a song and the vocalist. A lot of people want to strangle me because I detest a particular artist. I just can’t get past the sound of the voice. the lyrics may be amazing and  may have incredible stories to tell but there is nothing about the sound of the voice that is appealing to me. I love a voice that draws me in. I can’t explain how it draws me in, it just does. I thought I would open up my world of music and share some of my favorites. A lot of these songs bring me back to different parts of my life and bring me back to the story that has brought me to where I am now. If you choose to check these songs out I ask that you listen to the lyrics and feel the music…see if anything is relate-able to you. :0)

Very short right? Music changes everything in a short period….

What are some of your favs???

the change i want…

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Sometimes I just want to slow down. I am at a stage in my life where I truly have acceptance and love for the person that I am. It has taken me a LONG time to get here but now that I am here I am never leaving i can only get better. I embrace change…I actually love change because it allows you to step outside of your comfort zone and really grow. I believe change is necessary in order for people to keep learning and thriving.

When it comes to change I believe we should hold onto our morals and values and all of those things that make us who we are. I have been raised to be polite and have grown to be compassionate and those are two things I will never ever change about myself. Change runs along the lines of conquering fears and wanting to practice different lifestyles. Since I was little I have been overcome with nervousness.  A lot of this nervousness comes from always pushing myself 25 steps ahead. The thing I want to and will change about myself is giving myself the clearance to just slow down. I am not on the go 24 hours a day 7 days a week but sometimes my mind is. I have this creativity that surges through my body and I get bazillions of ideas that come to me. I want to do this and I want to do that and start this project or start that project or go here or go there. Creativity is a beautiful thing but it must be something that comes naturally…it should never be forced. I am the type of person that wants to get everything done quickly. I don’t know why I am that way. Procrastination has never been a concept in my life…if anything I would get projects done far in advance. The problem though is that I have not let my creative juices flow naturally…and when I don’t allow myself that then my work suffers. I live my life as if everything is on a timeline and I am slowly started to accept that not EVERYTHING needs to be on a timeline. Even with this blog I sometimes catch myself thinking that I have to get it posted by a certain time everyday…I literally will have a whole conversation in my head in which I will say, “Well most people will log into Facebook at some point mid-afternoon and people are used to you posting at that time already. Plus you will either be working at night or going to the gym after work and you will need to go home and shower and by the time you are done that I am sure you won’t want to write anything and if you don’t write anything then your blog won’t be what you said it was going to be.

I have been getting better with this, I have always been a results driven person. I was always looking for an end-point. What I am focusing on changing is no longer looking for the end point (i.e. finding my happiness, looking for love, etc.) but instead enjoying the journey because the journey is the actual answer. When we are accustomed to being a certain way (from childhood) it is next to impossible to just flip a switch and change everything in one day. Change is a process and it is something that you must really want. I am going to be a year older in few days and am proud to say I have found my happiness because I am slowly stopping the search for answers in everything. Not everything in life needs and answer. I do not need to know why everyone else do the things they do. The change I want to make is in my perception so I am able to look at life from a different angle. Instead of questioning people’s actions I want to accept them and work with their differences. I cannot force others to change in order to make them fit my needs and I would not want someone to do that to me. It may drive me nuts sometimes when I encounter people that are completely different from myself and do things in a manner in which I believe may be wrong but I am choosing to start seeing these things as opportunities to learn more about myself and more about the diversity of the world.

A lot of people in the world do not accept or embrace change. We, as people, tend to get used to certain patterns and become monotonous because we are comfortable being a certain way. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. What is most important is that people are living their lives in happiness. I believe that if a person questions their happiness then that might be a sign that there is a need for change. Change is not evil. Change is not something that anyone should force you into. Change could be something miniscule or something gigantic. We all want to change something about ourselves. I would find it hard to believe that there is one person on this planet that would not want to change one thing about themselves…whether it be physical, mental, emotional, educational, etc. Yes, I think it is VITAL to embrace who we are…”flaws” and all.

I am just curious to see what people would say if they were asked what they would change about themselves and why they want to change those things. :0)

 

letter to my son

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In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice. It really is quite stunning. All men need to read this!

Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971

Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won’t.
You’ve heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the “unhappy marrieds” and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.

Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn’t take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn’t ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.

Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Love,
Dad

P.S. You’ll never get in trouble if you say “I love you” at least once a day.

when you have a king, don’t reshuffle the cards because you might end up with a joker..

(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters;)

credits: linda ikeji

Chemistry 101

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I have found there to be two main criteria that must be met before considering someone a dating prospect: the first is chemistry and the second is compatibility. Different people have different ideas about the concept of “chemistry.” Personally, I’m not sure that I know how to describe it, but I am positive that if it’s there, I know it. I must digress at this point to note that interestingly, my definition of chemistry is disturbingly similar to Justice Stewart’s definition of hard-core pornography: “… I know it when I see it.” I suppose some things are better left undefined, as forcing overly-clinical terminology onto such concepts often has the ability to destroy their salacious appeal (see: Clinton Impeachment Trial).

In any case, it seems that the concept of chemistry may have different implications for men as compared to women. As Bravo’s the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, so crassly puts it: for men, “if the penis gets off of the couch,” there is chemistry. Conversely, I have found that chemistry and physical attractiveness are not perfectly correlated; finding someone physically appealing is no guarantee that there will be a spark. Several of my readers have expressed such a phenomenon which they describe as the guy who is “perfect on paper,” but with whom they inexplicably lack chemistry. Although the causes of chemistry may be more ambiguous for females, the response is not delayed as a result. Studies have shown that it can be determined definitively within the first five minutes of meeting someone whether there is chemistry. It may be a sad reality, but I have found that if there is no chemistry within the first five minutes, that will not change after another one, two, or three dates: it’s either there or it’s not.

Evaluating compatibility on the other hand, is a much more time consuming process. Depending on the openness of the two individuals, it can take anywhere from days to weeks to determine whether you are minimally compatible with another person. And ironically it is only once you reach that level of comfort with one another that people are prone to unleashing their “secret selves.” “I’m so glad that I have finally found someone that I feel so comfortable around…I feel like I can be completely honest with you. In fact, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you all about my sex life…

Thus, in order to maximize efficiency and minimize crazy, chemistry should be the first criteria examined when considering a dating prospect. This is easily achieved in real-life situations since you would only approach someone with whom you felt there was strong potential for chemistry. Additionally, approaching them and chatting awkwardly in the produce section of the grocery store gives you the brief amount of time that you need to determine whether there is sufficient chemistry to warrant going on a date.

Meeting people the old-fashioned way provides you with a sort of “chemistry filter” that allows it to have an edge over the presumed efficiency of online dating. You see, given that chemistry is a requirement for a potential relationship, in order to maximize efficiency one would have to spend time pursuing only those matches with whom they have chemistry. However, online dating has no such filter as it is impossible to feel chemistry through a computer screen.  You can talk for days; having deep and meaningful conversation, you can even Skype; giggling when the screen freezes on a particularly unflattering facial expression. However, until you actually meet that person, it is impossible to know conclusively whether you will get those infamous butterflies. Unfortunately, this back-and-forth online messaging which can last anywhere from days to weeks, is largely unavoidable as it seems to have established itself as a required social convention prior to setting up a date. People feel like they have to “get to know you” before they meet you. Sadly though, “getting to know” someone that you may or may not have chemistry with is a grossly inefficient use of time. Days can be spent mindlessly chatting to a potential match about their family history, college major, career prospects, hobbies, and at his bequest, reviewing his 800+ pictures on Facebook; however it only takes a matter of minutes to determine whether there is chemistry (the first hurdle). It seems then that the only logical thing to do would be to first make the chemistry determination, prior to investing a gross amount of time getting to know this person. Thus, dating the old-fashioned way would seem to be the logical alternative.

Of course one could argue that while that may be true, statistically your odds are still better online since there is a much larger pool of available people. I generally find this argument to be without merit. It may be true that you are frequently bombarded by fifty or more messages to your online dating account, and you may not be approached by so many people in real life.

i once met Mr cupid, some months ago and we were virtual for over 6 months, we talked everyday and exchanged texts, it even felt like the old days of free night calls, we talked practically about everything and we shared views, i even met his family and it was time for him to come home, we planned to see and i was all giggling and excited, on seeing him i just wasn’t feeling a thing, i couldn’t even completely hug him, we sat up all night talking and in my mind, i prayed for morning. morning came and that was it, i didn’t even call or want to talk to him. the chemistry wasn’t just there and i pitied all the time wasted and how he must have felt, we tried two more dates and i just had to call it off. i still am attracted to him virtually but i don’t think i can be physically.

So I’m truly sorry OK Cupid…really, it’s not me, it’s you.

 

are u a good friend?

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Are you a good friend?

We live in this world that has become so “politically correct”. Well you know what, I can use discretion but I HATE having to walk on eggshells day in and day out because I might say something to offend someone. I believe we lose all morality and all honesty of who we are as people when we constantly stroke people’s egos or candy coat our feelings. God forbid we offend someone by telling the truth. You may wonder why I bring this up when the question at hand is whether or now I am a good friend. Well I do believe friendship and honesty do go hand in hand and like relationships and love I do believe sometimes friendships are forced. I believe friendships are much easier and much more immediately natural flowing that romantic relationships but sometimes there is an uneasiness. Ultimately, no one wants to be alone in life (well some might but I think they would be outnumbered) and sometimes we are forced into life situations (especially as we get older…and still remind single) in which we want to make friends and meet new people but the pickins are pretty slim. I am not implying that we must be particular and picky when making friends but just like a romantic relationship you want to have friends that you TRULY care about….people that you would drop everything for….people you bond with…cry with…laugh with…I think you know what I mean. There comes a time though, that just like orgasms, we fake it. We force friendships in order to not be alone or to simply have someone to do something with. I have done this at different times in my life. It has taken me 22 years to see that there was no benefit to doing this and beating myself up for not particularly caring for certain people (don’t get me wrong, I did not say dislike, I just mean not being able to share interests or feel any sort of connection to the other person) is no longer worth it. I don’t believe time is really wasted often (as long as you are learning a lesson) but I do believe that knowingly befriending someone/people that you just share no common ground with or feel any sort of comfort with is definitely a waste of time.

For me it has taken a long journey to really start finding myself and accepting everything that I am. For the first time (probably since early childhood) I have felt at ease and even proud of who I am as a person. I am seeing life and opportunities in a different way now and I am able to hold onto the beautiful person that I am no matter what others may think or say about me. Other people have no control over my life…I am the only one that has that power. Everything I am writing about does tie into the question I am answering. Am I a good friend? Yes, I do believe I am. Have I always been a good friend? Nope, I certainly have not. There will come times in the future where I am destined to fuck up a friendship or hurt a friend’s feelings for whatever the reason may be. I look at those things as life…we must have downs in order to appreciate the up’s. I do not want to go on a big rant by bragging about myself and state the zillions of reasons that make me a good friend. It is quite simple…my intentions are always sincere, always genuine, and always heart-felt. What I feel inside of me day in and day out is the urge to continually better myself and try to make the best choices that I can (not everyday I do) and for someone that I consider a real and true friend I would do anything for them. I try my hardest with people that I feel an honest connection with. I believe I am a polite and very friendly person but I will admit that I do not put a lot of effort into people that I have no common ground to share or those that I just don’t feel any sense of ease with.

Friends have come and gone throughout my life. As time passes life changes. I am 22 years old(in 10days) and still single with no  ;0) As most of you would guess a lot of people my age have gone down the married with children path. I will not say that singles and couples can’t be friends but I will say that in a lot of cases there is a shift in the dynamic of the relationship. I have engaged friends but they are not the friends that I hang out with regularly. I choose not to hang out with them because (to be completely honest-I am only speaking for my situation btw) a lot of them treat me like an outsider. I get looked upon like the single, wild party girl that in their eyes just hasn’t grown up and settled down yet (I haven’t drank alcohol in 16 months—trust me I am far from a party girl anymore). I get the looks of pity and the “oh he will come along when you least expect it” or “you should meet so and so” comments. What a lot of them don’t understand is that being in a relationship at the moment is not my top priorities in life. though i wont mind if it happens.” This attitude has caused a divide in different relationships because when people’s values differ so does their common ground. I believe it is so true that you can have a lot of acquaintances in your life but true friends usually only come in maybe a small handful. Friendship is usually a weeding out process. Just recently I discovered a “friend” had unfriended me on Facebook. I then realized we never were really close friends…we were acquaintances. I never got to any point with her in which I felt comfortable. I never felt like I could pick up the phone at anytime just to talk to her or ask her advice on something. I am unsure of why she “unfriended” me. She has become a world class big girl (so she sees herself). Maybe she believes she should not mingle with low class girls like me. I don’t know I could be totally off base. Neither of us really put in the effort for what I believe two people should if the friendship is the real deal. I don’t dislike her because of this. I would always treat her with respect and kindness if our paths crossed. I am a good friend, even if sometimes I say or do the wrong thing, because I accept people for who they are (it may not come initially-I may make snap judgments but I always come back to realizing people’s lives are different than mine).

In answer to the question of whether or not I am a good friend I would have to say yes. I say yes because I realize that people are going to make mistakes and at some point or another do something to fuck up the friendship (hopefully it is only a momentary fuck up) and I believe it forgiveness whole-heartedly (if the person is genuinely sorry). I have talked about my friends behind their backs and done things I should not have done and I have asked for forgiveness. In some cases I have been forgiven and in others I have not. I am a good friend because I allow people room to learn and to grow. I may not be there each and every moment I am needed because I am caught up in my own life but those that are my true and genuine friends are always in my heart and they will know that. I am willing to see past someone’s antics and bad decisions if they are willing to see past mine. I believe that is what friendship is really about. Friendship comes with this level of comfort that is there almost immediately. You don’t get to that level with just anyone…that is why I say real friendships come in only small handfuls.

I know sometimes I tend to complicate things. Actually no I am just being who I am and I love to analyze and thing about things in depth. Not everyone understands this and not everyone would want to befriend me because of this. I admit to having a hard time being friends that seem to me to be superficial and “on the surface”. I am not the type of girl that wants to talk about boys and shoes all of the time. I am not throwing a dig out there at the girls that are those types…I am just stating that the chances of us meshing into any sort of friendship would probably be slim to none. I am a good friend because my words are honest. I may not always say them in vocal word but at some point or another I always say them. I am not confrontational and this can be a negative or a positive…it would just depend on the friendship I guess. I have shaped, molded and shifted throughout my many years and finally I am at peace with who I am. I will never stop changing and I will constantly be seeking out more knowledge but what makes me the most sincere (which I think is the key to being a good friend) is that I have an immense amount of goodness and compassion in my heart. I really do want good things to happen for other people. When I love and when I care…I love with everything in me. I may feel awkward and uncomfortable showing it (that is just how I am) but my true friends know that about me. They never need to question how I feel about them. I am an open book.

PS: I MISS ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS; and am sorry i might not call but (you know i never called before) and i would love you all at my birthday party so we can kiss and hug like old times.

 

thanks to all my readers you got me to 5555 in the 5th month… bless ya’all

my little message

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Someone asked me in an interview; what’s your message to the world? I said; There is so much that I want to say to the world. I do not seek fame in a way in which I am in tabloids or starring on a sitcom but something inside of me tells me that my voice needs to be heard. If I had this opportunity I would tell this large group of people to just breathe. Take a moment (or a few moments-or as many moments as you possibly can to absorb the beauty in the world around you). See the beauty within yourself. Yes we all have struggles and our lives may be fast paced and sometimes the world may seem like it is caving in on us but there is so much beauty that surrounds us every single day. I would tell everyone (including myself) to take off the blinders and look at the world through different lenses. We are so driven by technology and status quos and the newest trends and every day we are forgetting humankind. We can text all day with someone (or pretty much everyone we know) or even make a plan for a date and never hear the person’s voice. How impersonal is that? The world is passing us by and we are allowing it to happen. I have come to realize that because of this boom in technology I, myself, have changed drastically. I am still very caring and kind and believe I have great qualities but my ability to communicate with others in person has changed. What used to be so natural and normal has become awkward and uncomfortable. The only person to blame though is myself and I am also the only person that can change this…as awkward and uncomfortable as that may be as well. As individuals we need to be accountable for our own actions. I believe a majority of us just float through life and just expect things to fall into place and maybe sometimes they will but majority of the time we are the ones that need to make things happen. Why would people just settle for the minimum when they could have pure bliss?

Of course, I answered my first question with a question. There it is though…my message to the world: Step back and take a look. Step away from your computers. Leave your cell phones at home. Turn off the television. Soak up the beauty in the world. Learn from other people. See outside of yourself. Every day has a million different opportunities to learn something new. I think it would be very naïve and ignorant for people to not take advantage of these opportunities.

Peace and Much Love! :0)

What’s your message to the world???

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