Lost art of conversation

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In behavior, culture, parenting, Technology, urban life, life, domestic life, family, children

At home, families sit together, texting and reading e-mail. At work executives text during board meetings. We text (and shop and go on Facebook) during classes and when we’re on dates…

We’ve become accustomed to a new way of being “alone together.” Technology-enabled, we are able to be with one another, and also elsewhere, connected to wherever we want to be. We want to customize our lives. We want to move in and out of where we are because the thing we value most is control over where we focus our attention. We have gotten used to the idea of being in a tribe of one, loyal to our own party.

One of the rituals I enjoy with my friends is the few moments i get to share with them when i leave work before heading to my house or the weekends just before we go out. This 30minutes physical conversation always bring life into what we share…

But sitting across the table from someone, sharing a glass of wine or cup of coffee, seems to have become an unimaginable luxury. How else can we ever get to know one another? New things happen everyday That take a lot of trust and courage. I don’t think most of us would want to share such intimacy only through a computer or phone screen.

I love road trips, 4-6 hours with my friends or family. You get a lot said, and the silences are companion-able and even when am travelling alone, i make new friends..

Recently, i threw a birthday party and for the first few hours there were only few people. Instead of meeting and networking, everyone was busy on the blackberry social media pinging, tweeting and facebooking. When did we finally lose the touch of meeting people and walking up to them. How many of your  contacts have you actually met or how many do we even call.

At a point i though it was the DJ but then, i realised it wasn’t because if you came with your friend and another with his girlfriend and they can’t take that time to connect or have a lovely conversation. Then truly conversation is lost. After i shuffled them and mixed people up, then conversation started, mostly like a reunion for some and a new meet for others.

Now, a guy sees a girl he likes and usually, he should walk up to her, all he does is ask for her pin or facebook name. Its getting more awkward by the day as we all focus and measure the amount of L♥√ع someone has for us by this social network aided by TECHNOLOGY forgetting that most people don’t remember you until facebook reminds them or there’s a mention on twitter and mostly updates on bbm.

I cannot stand a month virtual conversation without a meet, only exceptions of very long distances. And that’s when i can share my mobile number with you, so i can place a voice to that personality
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As you can see, conversation is my oxygen. I love meeting fun new people and hearing their stories.

Do you make time in your life now for face to face conversations?

With whom and how often?

If not, do you miss them?

my evolution

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I thank GOD  Almighty for keeping you and i till this day 24-o5-12. from the day i was born 24-05-90 at exactly 12:24:05, my doctor has said i was a special breed.

I thank everyone that took there time to wish me a happy birthday, i thank all those that sent messages, and posts, all the funny pictures of me and all the prayers, i just cant say thank you enough but if 200 and counting are repping me on their display pictures and my twitter mentions is over 300 with the uncountable Facebook posts and net logs and the likes. i thank NOKIA for sending me a special birthday song and every other organizations that started my day.

i just feel i owe you more;

please do not laugh

i was just a day old

the day after my birth..

22years later

22 years later

i was named

i was named: Maryam Funmilayo Ajoke Morenikeji Olajumoke Adelaja Oluwapamilerinayo Olamiposinuoluwa ADEBOLA

and my names survive

smiles

and i clocked 2 in a red dress :

i was 3 and that’s my wonderful daddy

on my 4th birthday with my lil sis and mu

clocked 5 in a denim with my bf 😀

i rocked denim yesterday in memory of my 5th birthday. lol

another birthday in red 😀

THE FACE CAP IS BEEN WAY BACK 😀

ONE OF THE 2 BIRTHDAYS I EVER CELEBRATED..

and then i graduated………

currently serving my green country

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, i am 22 years old and i cannot in any way explain the epitome of joy in my heart but hopefully when i settle, i can.

God bless you my special friend, for the fireworks you put off at 5am this morning having driven all the way from IKEJA to my house on the island, Gosh! that was awesome! i just hope you took a picture.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone else for the gifts i have received ( will post pictures later). SEE Y’ALL AT MY EXCLUSIVE PARTY!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

TODAY IN HISTORY

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Am one of the happiest breed on earth today, well i have been for over a week now, the act of writing even made me a more fulfilled person. I cannot begin to emphasize on the things that are filling my long broken hearts but am sure a lot of you my readers would have noticed in my last few posts.

I am HAPPY… for the first time in a while I can truly say that and am, forever grateful to God.

Today in history(22-05-10), history was M’ADE,  a talent was M’ADE, ideas were M’ADE, a decision was M’ADE and if that day or days after or even months after someone (even my mum) told me it was going to be M’ADE then i would have given the dis-believe look.

As a child I have always had encouragements and drives, I am the all knowing breed, who was interested in many things and today it has not stopped.

Wondering what am talking about? well am talking about a grace that was sent upon me through my very own organization “AIESEC” (DRUM ROLLS), FRIENDS, COLLEAGUES AND FAMILY. it was first to be a team leader and then i discovered my weakness of talking too much, i wasn’t condemned but embraced to turn my talkativeness into speaking for a cause, and to speak for a cause, you have to know what you are talking about so i developed myself to finding out things which brought about the researcher in me.

why do i care so much? well, that was ordained from the day i was m’ade. being the first from both my parents who are firsts from both their parents has given me about 40cousins whom i have cared and still care for.  I knew i always did a good job if every weekend their parents came to dump them in my house :D.

I can remember telling my mum at 18 that i want my own kids (lmao) but really since i cant have my own kids yet, i decided i will care for kids that cant have their own parents yet. I will go states to states and town to town just to spend days with the motherless, prepare projects that will care for the needy. even though many i didn’t spend my money or time on but at least my ideas would drive people to do something.

This went on for few months when i was given a task to come up with an agenda for “AIESEC DINNER”. it was tough but then we came up with a very good one, there was no designer available for the fashion show we included then someone came up with the idea that i have beautiful set of clothes and since most of my friends copy my style, we could just style models and make it a style show instead. i was proud to tell them that 95% of my clothes were designed by me, it was a shock when after the event about 20people wanted me to design their next dinner gowns, i couldn’t disagree.

I thank you all from that moment that even though i didn’t sew the clothes myself, you supported me, you encouraged me, you gave me extra pays just to believe in myself, i thank all the organizations that helps with my projects. i thank all my customers and clients, i thank those that joined along the way(I THANK THOSE THAT LEFT), i thank all my mentors. I thank my mum and i thank God for never letting me down, ( i am actually crying in my office right now).

Today, I am only 21years old and 363days old but I am a researcher, an event planner (minor), stylist, A fashion designer, A writer, A mother(LOL aunty)  to many kids,  A mentor, A project executor and yes you can call me an OLIVER TWIST or even as my best fan would say GIFTED HANDS but I’ll rather be called M’ADE , reason being God made me and left nothing undone just like he made you and blessed you even more.

22-05-10 hopefully we can all celebrate 20years and more down the road. GRACIAS !!!

whatever you are doing now, please make sure its for a good cause, because where words go, legs don’t ever get.

LIKE AND FF @made_creations MADE CREATIONS on twitter and Facebook.

ode to monday

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At 5:45 a.m. it begins with an incessant beep-beep-beep

I fumble clumsily for the alarm, eyes still closed because I didn’t get enough sleep

I could have gone to bed early; I always say that I will

But as the final moments of my weekend slip away, I desperately cling to the thrill

How is it already Monday?

Eventually i decided to start the week but wanted to turn over, i woke up again it was 6:02 am

i was late for solat, i woke-up to bath and said my prayers.

Resting my face in my palms as I think about the week that lies ahead

put on my clothes… look my best, it is Monday, after all.

I will lose my keys, say my byes and have to make a run for the bus

I was at my door when the heavy breeze blew my face away

I wondered what it was but then the down pour came, i went back to my room to take a nap 😀

Hopefully this rain lasts the whole day or I will make it to work just too late

Mother, called on me as she brought in my breakfast,

Yellow and milky it was, one of the simplest meal i still cant make – custard

I looked up and smiled at her

As i cleared my cup so did the sky clear

I’ll have to face my boss if he made it earlier to work

About to jump a bike when i heard a slit.. oh my red pretty skirt tore

Not to worry am still home, changed my below and threw on a wooly pant.

Got to the office an hour and half later than usual.

Time for proper breakfast

It’s then that I’ll realize I forgot my purse.

Oh, the life of an office drone.

'the office drone"

HAVE A GREAT WEEK……… :*

music is life

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What are some of your favorite songs?

Music is everything. In just a matter of seconds your mood can change entirely by listening to a song. I don’t tend to steer toward any type of music. I am more the type of person that enjoys the lyrics of a song and the vocalist. A lot of people want to strangle me because I detest a particular artist. I just can’t get past the sound of the voice. the lyrics may be amazing and  may have incredible stories to tell but there is nothing about the sound of the voice that is appealing to me. I love a voice that draws me in. I can’t explain how it draws me in, it just does. I thought I would open up my world of music and share some of my favorites. A lot of these songs bring me back to different parts of my life and bring me back to the story that has brought me to where I am now. If you choose to check these songs out I ask that you listen to the lyrics and feel the music…see if anything is relate-able to you. :0)

Very short right? Music changes everything in a short period….

What are some of your favs???

the change i want…

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Sometimes I just want to slow down. I am at a stage in my life where I truly have acceptance and love for the person that I am. It has taken me a LONG time to get here but now that I am here I am never leaving i can only get better. I embrace change…I actually love change because it allows you to step outside of your comfort zone and really grow. I believe change is necessary in order for people to keep learning and thriving.

When it comes to change I believe we should hold onto our morals and values and all of those things that make us who we are. I have been raised to be polite and have grown to be compassionate and those are two things I will never ever change about myself. Change runs along the lines of conquering fears and wanting to practice different lifestyles. Since I was little I have been overcome with nervousness.  A lot of this nervousness comes from always pushing myself 25 steps ahead. The thing I want to and will change about myself is giving myself the clearance to just slow down. I am not on the go 24 hours a day 7 days a week but sometimes my mind is. I have this creativity that surges through my body and I get bazillions of ideas that come to me. I want to do this and I want to do that and start this project or start that project or go here or go there. Creativity is a beautiful thing but it must be something that comes naturally…it should never be forced. I am the type of person that wants to get everything done quickly. I don’t know why I am that way. Procrastination has never been a concept in my life…if anything I would get projects done far in advance. The problem though is that I have not let my creative juices flow naturally…and when I don’t allow myself that then my work suffers. I live my life as if everything is on a timeline and I am slowly started to accept that not EVERYTHING needs to be on a timeline. Even with this blog I sometimes catch myself thinking that I have to get it posted by a certain time everyday…I literally will have a whole conversation in my head in which I will say, “Well most people will log into Facebook at some point mid-afternoon and people are used to you posting at that time already. Plus you will either be working at night or going to the gym after work and you will need to go home and shower and by the time you are done that I am sure you won’t want to write anything and if you don’t write anything then your blog won’t be what you said it was going to be.

I have been getting better with this, I have always been a results driven person. I was always looking for an end-point. What I am focusing on changing is no longer looking for the end point (i.e. finding my happiness, looking for love, etc.) but instead enjoying the journey because the journey is the actual answer. When we are accustomed to being a certain way (from childhood) it is next to impossible to just flip a switch and change everything in one day. Change is a process and it is something that you must really want. I am going to be a year older in few days and am proud to say I have found my happiness because I am slowly stopping the search for answers in everything. Not everything in life needs and answer. I do not need to know why everyone else do the things they do. The change I want to make is in my perception so I am able to look at life from a different angle. Instead of questioning people’s actions I want to accept them and work with their differences. I cannot force others to change in order to make them fit my needs and I would not want someone to do that to me. It may drive me nuts sometimes when I encounter people that are completely different from myself and do things in a manner in which I believe may be wrong but I am choosing to start seeing these things as opportunities to learn more about myself and more about the diversity of the world.

A lot of people in the world do not accept or embrace change. We, as people, tend to get used to certain patterns and become monotonous because we are comfortable being a certain way. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. What is most important is that people are living their lives in happiness. I believe that if a person questions their happiness then that might be a sign that there is a need for change. Change is not evil. Change is not something that anyone should force you into. Change could be something miniscule or something gigantic. We all want to change something about ourselves. I would find it hard to believe that there is one person on this planet that would not want to change one thing about themselves…whether it be physical, mental, emotional, educational, etc. Yes, I think it is VITAL to embrace who we are…”flaws” and all.

I am just curious to see what people would say if they were asked what they would change about themselves and why they want to change those things. :0)

 

letter to my son

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In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice. It really is quite stunning. All men need to read this!

Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971

Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won’t.
You’ve heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the “unhappy marrieds” and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.

Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn’t take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn’t ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.

Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Love,
Dad

P.S. You’ll never get in trouble if you say “I love you” at least once a day.

when you have a king, don’t reshuffle the cards because you might end up with a joker..

(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters;)

credits: linda ikeji

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