Broken Hearts Never Mend…

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Vanishing Broken Heart…
I’ve been wondering of late at what point the human heart shuts down, and emotions end? When does your heart say, “Look I’ve had enough. I’m tired of being betrayed, stabbed in the back, left to slowly bleed out. I’m done. I have no more to give. To anyone. Leave me alone.”

What pushes it to that point? Where it’s walls are so thick and so high and so immovable that nothing can get through. Where it’s turned to stone. Indifferent and cold. How many darts can be hurled at it from all types of sources? How many knives twisting to the core? How many times can it be shattered, abandoned, stabbed, disappointed, emptied and left for dead before it simply vanishes?

And then what?

What happens when it’s a lump of gannet in your chest? Does it ever go back to pliable sand? What would motivate it to care? And why after years of friends, family, lovers, trying to drain the life out of it, why would it ever want to?

 

Broken hearts never mend. They may put a turnikate on and keep functioning. They may even close the gaping wound over time. But they never really, fully mend. The scars are there. And after a while scars upon scars turn to cartilage (I’m no doctor, but even I know that!)… and cartilage becomes so think and unflexible that it causes it’s own pain in addition to the pain it’s covering up.

 

It’s a very real fear I have. The past few years have taken their tole on my heart from every angle. I believe that in life you get what you give… which leaves me as the common denominator, I’m smart enough to figure that out. But I look at the ones who’ve thrown daggers in the front and back of my heart the past few years including my immediate family, and all the ones I’ve put myself out there for and loved only to be betrayed in the end… and I ask myself the very serious question…What the fuck?

In each case circumstances vary. Family is definitely different than lovers, and friends obviously. But all I can think is, how can someone who’s professed their love for you turn their back so quickly? To steel a line from Katy Perry“spit me out like I was poison in your mouth”. It’s a valid question. I can’t think of anyone in my lifetime that I have treated that way. Where one day I was on their side, and in their corner and the next I was throwing them under the bus. Standing by to watch it crush them with a satisfied smirk on my face. I just don’t have that in me. I’m full of flaws, obviously. But I could never be cold and malicious like that. I can’t get my head around how many people are that way though. Why are they always the ones I wind up trusting? When will my dumbass learn?
I don’t want to give up on whats good and beautiful in life. I don’t want to close my heart to the opportunity of how amazing love can be, but at what point does that stop being my choice? I don’t want to wake up one day ten years from now and realize that it happened long ago. I know I can control it, but that takes the desire and will to rise above yet again… and I’m just so tired.

if killing wasnt a sin!!!!!!!!! hmmm…. just if!

M’

DATING outside marriage…

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Image via CrunchBase

In the generation before ours, and in the generation before the generation before ours, there were people – men and women – who questioned if marital fidelity truly existed. And now, in this generation, here I am, among many others, questioning the same issue, wondering if it is just an ideology instead of an actual day of life.

There have been many cases of married men who have come to speak the words to me that in their heads, no woman can say no to: I want to marry you. There have been men who have tried to pretend to be unmarried, men who have said they are unmarried but quickly explained why their wives have made it an unbearable marriage, and why I, have been sent by God to save them, and there have been men who have sat on the fence, not saying what they are or aren’t, but playing with the idea of being whatever they thought I wanted them to be. But every single time, I am left wondering what kind of women they are married to and what said women are going through.

I remember specifically the case of that guy at Oriential, i went for a “fund raising event”. He had just moved to the Island from another State, and it was his first time at a fund raising event. He approached me and tried to sell his business to me, saying he could help my own business. At the end, business cards were exchanged. Apparently, he was a friend of a colleague. That evening he called and sang a different song. He wanted to know if he could take me to dinner, and if I could be his mistress. Brownie points for not being pretentious.

I learned a lot from him in that one conversation. I learned that he was married with kids, that his wife was pompous and thereby, the inherent cause of his displeasure and dissatisfaction, that monogamy was unnatural, that biblical men were never monogamous (like David), that infidelity actually makes a marriage stronger because when a man sleeps with another woman, it makes his wife more desirable, that he was going to give me money out of his school stipend whenever I needed it, that all I needed to do for him was keep him company by cooking for him, going on dates with him, and of course, letting him invade my privacy with the only appendage that makes him think he’s a man, and finally, that he will let me get married when it’s time. It was just the offer of my dreams. I cannot imagine why I turned it down.

But it was only a couple weeks later that he stood on the altar and sold his product to the crowd, praising the Most High God, and saying how imperative it was to live a holy life and obey His word. And the congregation, they clapped for him and shouted wowza, amen, and glory. And when he was done, they invested their hard earned money into his cock shit which was meant to inspire and raise more funds for the widowed and orphans. They called it a sowed seed. I knew better. I sat and watched in horror as he led God’s people astray. And then, I prayed for God to help me, for it was not my place to determine if the ground should open up and swallow him or if lightening should strike through the ceiling and transport his soul to his forefathers.

There are many arguments from the other side, arguments that pass off as excuses, not justifications. Just because we can do something does not mean we should do it. But the other side, they have different reasons why a married man cheats. It is because his wife has gotten fat, because she cares more about her career than she does about her home, because she did not give him children, because she did not give him male children, because she is disrespectful and not submissive, because she does not cook, and because there are women who are willing to be cheated with.

As long as there are women who are willing to be cheated with, married men will always cheat. Should we then all point guns to our heads because there are guns willing to be shot, because we have the hands to shoot them, and because we have enough problems to want to end it all? When a man who is unable to handle the trials of life decides to take his own life, he is called a punk for taking the easy way out. But if this same man were to take the easy way out by cheating on his wife instead of just walking away, he is called *DRUM ROLL, PLEASE* … a man! Oh, but of course.

It was only few months after pastor perfect marriage, that I made the acquaintance of Adebayo Omoju Akanni at a mutual friend’s house. He calls himself Omoju. He was there with his wife and daughter. The conversation between me and Omoju did not go past gadgets. Specifically, Blackberry and samsung tabs. I saw him again a couple of weeks later at a naming ceremony where again, he inquired of my tab. When he added me on Facebook, I accepted because he was now officially someone I technically knew.

But Omoju sent me a Facebook message that changed the dynamic of things. He said he had dreamt about me twice the night before, that he thought there was something about me, that he did not know how to tell his partner, that he wanted me to keep his feelings between us –“no third party please” – and what did I think. I did not reply.

When followers on twitter added me on bbm during the chat with me on a saturday morning, I accepted everyone as usual, only to realize that Omoju was one of the people who added me. The hawk had sneaked in with the chickens. He wanted to know my number, if I had received his messages on Facebook, why I had not replied his messages, and if I was worried about his marital status. I promised to reply his message on Facebook.

Days later, I had still not replied Omoju, and he took it upon himself to send several more messages, inquiring of my whereabouts and stating that he was sure I could not possibly be that busy. Of course not. What else could I have on my to-do list, but to reply Omoju’s messages?

Women have more reasons than I know of for dating married men: money, sex, love, infatuation, good looks, prestige, fun, lack of commitment, ignorance, etc. It is said that if one must eat a frog, then one should eat a very fat one. Neither wealth nor fame nor extreme good looks nor intellectual acquisition did Omoju have. Even at rock bottom, I would have no excuse. But what is it that compels his confidence?

When I replied his message and included a four-letter word that rhymes with his insatiable meatless appendage – the possible cause of all his problems – I also predicted his next move. And just like the fly that entered the grave with the dead body, he did as I said he would. He said it was not him, that he did not know what I was talking about, that his Facebook and Skype accounts were both simultaneously hacked, and that I should please explain to him what was going on. In spite of his alleged innocence, he went ahead to call several mutual friends, telling them to plead his guilty case. The smart ones knew better.

Whether or not women have – by their words and by their actions – enabled their husbands to start illicit affairs is not a subject for debate. The honest ones among us know what we have done and what we are capable of doing. That said, the decision to stay faithful and stick it out or seek pleasure elsewhere is still the man’s decision. It is still a choice, and just like every other choice, the one making it has to own full responsibility for it. And not every man has an enabling wife. Some men just want to eat out of both hands.

Omoju’s wife contacted me to commit the ultimate blunder, an epic fail in its entirety. Her husband, according to her, would never stoop so low. I agree with her. It is impossible to stoop to any kind of low when you are already at the bottom. There is only one time that a married woman should contact the alleged other woman, and that is when her husband has done everything in his power to get rid of her. In any other case, contacting the other woman is like changing her light bulb when there is no electricity. Whether she uses sixty watts, hundred watts, or halogen lights, they will remain off. She can contact the other woman from now till kingdom come, but he who contacts her last, contacts her best. And that would be the cheating husband. Even after this unexplanable act, Omoju still calls me princess and tells ma how unappealing and disrespectful is beautiful glowing wife is.

If this entire piece reads as if I mostly hold the married man accountable for his affairs, it is because I do. Morally, it is clear that no woman should be romantically or sexually involved with a married man who is not her husband. But between the lawless woman and the married man, only one of them has made a vow and commitment to another woman saying that he will forsake all others and cling only to his wife, saying that he will stick by her, come what may, till life evades him. Records will reflect that that person is not the lawless woman.

People may be quick to blame the other woman, calling her a whore and a home breaker, but it is from the crack in the wall that the lizard crawls in. If the married man did not open the door of his home, the other woman would not be able to step in and do whatever she is accused of doing.

And if you are the whore, hoe, magstress he is cheating with, he will dump you and if he doesnt, remember, the stroke used for the first son is in keep for the last. But what do I know? I am just an unmarried girl giving marital advice. I may soon be directed to go hug a transformer. If it is Optimus Prime, then I would not mind.

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when u go marry?

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God does not give me the option of getting older without turning plus one. I want to get older; I want to be more mature; I want to be wiser; I want to get the experience one only gets by spending more time on earth, but I do not necessarily want my age to go higher – at least not at the rate that it goes. Perhaps, I will feel better if it took eighteen months to turn plus one instead of twelve months.
I am not a child, and I do not wish to go back to my childhood; however, I am really just a kid at heart. The thought of being married excites me; the thought of having a man to call my own fascinates me; the thought of having children that come out of me thrills me, but even more than all that, the thought of leaving my parents terrifies me. Yes, I want to start a family of my own, but I still want to live with my mommy. Who will rub my back when I am feeling down? Who will rub my feet? Who will play with my hair? The probability that my husband will do all these is not very high – unless my husband happens to not be Nigerian which is highly unlikely. I am tempted to get into all the reasons why my mother might be a more romantic husband, but I will save that for another day.
The older I become, the more often I hear that question that no girl ever wants to hear (especially if she does not know the answer to it), “so when are you getting married?” My best friend is getting married in a month’s time, another got married today a few married last month and I have stopped telling people about it because it always leads them to ask me the question I do not want to hear. I do not know when I will be getting married. I do not know how I will be proposed to. I do not know where or when I will be proposed to. But most importantly, I do not know to whom I will be getting married. But no one asks me who I will be getting married to; everyone is concerned about when.
Things have gotten so bad that my mother’s friends’ husband gave my number to his friend who has a son. He told me all the supposed good things about his friend’s son – he is in the military (is that supposed to be a good thing? I hear the military guys are all whores); he flies planes for the military (Oh great! In addition to possibly being hit by a stray bullet, he also runs the risk of dying in a plane crash); he is Hausa (so what? I hear they do not make them like they used to anymore. But then again, were they ever really that good?); he is in med school (how nice! I can look forward to my potential husband spending all his time in the hospital. And let us not forget the student loans), but my He failed to tell me if his friend’s son was single and looking. I guess all that mattered was the relationship between my father and his father.
I concluded that the guy would have to be really desperate to actually call me. I mean, what would he say when he calls me? “Hi, my name is —, and I got your number from my father who got it from your father who said we should mingle and see where this might lead to.” Yeah, there goes the introduction I have been waiting for all my life. I did not expect him to call; he never did call, and my mind forgot the issue. But then months later, my father asked me if he had called, and that was when I remembered him. I am ashamed to admit this, but a part of me was sad. Why did he not call?? He should have at least called to hear my voice. He should have at least considered the possibility of God working in mysterious ways. Yes, indeed, I am pathetic, I know. So that was how my relationship with the flying military man in med school ended before it got a chance to start.
Like I stated earlier, my friend is getting married in a month’s time; another close friend of mine got married this Saturday (October 20th 2012), and yet another friend is getting married in December. Everyone has been asking the same question, and I am sick and tired of saying I do not know. Besides, saying I do not know only prompts the one asking to ask another unanswerable question, “Why now?” What the heck?! I can go ahead and explain to anyone who cares to hear that I have an idea of what I want my wedding gown to look like; I know the exact engagement and wedding ring I want; I know where I want to do my traditional marriage; I know what I want the ceremony to be like; I know what I want the Nikkah wedding to look like; I know what kind of marriage I want to share with my husband, and I even have an idea of the songs we will play that day, the names of our children, and how many I want to look like me (I want at least one boy and one girl to look like me)!
In fact, I also know that I want five children (including a set of twins and two adopted). I am so sure of my twins that I have secretly started calling myself Mama Ejima or Mama Ibeji. Yes, I have claimed it already. All I need now is the ‘who’, but no one is asking me that. I guess all that matters is that I know when I will be getting married. Finding the ‘who’ should not be too difficult seeing as I have thousands of men knocking my door down and asking my parents for permission to pluck the ripe flower in their garden. Yeah, right!

My friend, who has been single since i know her now thinks because she has one guy doing her is feeling different. Suddenly, her new wave of ‘manfullness’ has given her the confidence to have pity on me. She said she will help me out of my predicament. I did not even know I had a predicament!
How am I supposed to tell people when I will be getting married if I do not even have a man to propose? Or am I supposed to propose to myself and marry myself? That would actually not be such a terrible idea since I consider myself the best partner anyone can ever dream of (wink) , but I cannot afford the ring I want. Besides, I kind of need a man to have the five children that I plan on having, and going to a sperm bank is out of the question. Another perk of getting married is the tax breaks that married couples get. Who does not want or need a tax break? I know I do. Oh well, I guess I would just have to wait for my darling to show up. I have to say it is taking him a mighty long time to get here, but with all the humidity and global warming occurring, transportation must have slowed down. That is my story, and I am sticking to it.
Of course, if I could have a meeting with God, I would suggest He creates a Custom-M’ade Spouse program – a program in which people – men and women alike – can create their partner just as they want him or her. But I know this is merely a fantasy that will never come to pass. But if for any reason God decides to create such a program, I will not mind being the first to utilize it. Heaven knows I am in dire need of it. Until then however, I will just have to wait for my darling like every other woman out there.

So when am I getting married? Beats me. But if you find out, do let me know,

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NYSC shouldnt be a total waste!

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My pledge to Nigeria still remains the same even though a lot of us do not see it as one, for every time we recited it right from primary school to secondary up to the university level and now to serving our country “Nigeria”. Being part of the most blessed batch of all batches, 11C resuming on the 15/11/12 with little or no interest, bailing out of camp based on health issues and not minding what I will miss, the mammy market everyone looked forward to wasn’t catching my fancy, after spending two nights in camp, no shower, no wee, I made up my mind to find my way back to my abode. I’m no butty nor tush, I grew up in Mushin and Orile respectively and now live in the razz part of Lagos Island. I just couldn’t cope with our poor Nigerian system anymore. Lagos camp has been longed tagged the best ever ( well in terms of fun and opportunities) unfortunately for me, I missed out on most if not all. I for once have never been interested in the so-called NYSC; I thought it was a waste of time.
My staying out of camp gave my friends and colleagues reasons to think I had job waiting, but Alas! NO! I used these time to surf the internet looking for one even though I wasn’t exactly ready to work for anyone, I’m a fashion designer M’ADE. Why should I waste a year serving a country that never pays back? But that changed when I was offered one with a reasonable “corper pay”. Leaving where I was initially posted to teach biology and math in a School in Bariga after one week of bonding with the kids left guilt in my heart. I couldn’t forgive myself for weeks.
Then came the strike – OCCUPY NAIJA, I kept thinking “if I don’t who will? If not now, when?” Most of the protesters were heard and listened to because they went to school and acquired knowledge. I then thought, NYSC can’t be a total waste, been posted to Lagos should be the greatest opportunity for anyone, I might be earning more than 75% of Lagos corps members and less than 10% of Lagos corps members but this ratio is enough to get me on my heels and do something rewarding.
I Started with Wednesday free teaching programme at my old PPA and few schools around. The student knew me to be a proud fashion designer and making them understand the state of our country and how important it is to be self empowered was my priority. In June, a couple of friends passed out, it was a wake up call, many made no impact, some did and very few were recognised. I like to be important and valued, it is my speciality and I do not see any wrong in that, it had always been my driving force. I wanted to be important, to be make impact and to reflect on my theory of OCCUPY NAIJA. The time was now, I took up a project (I’M MADE) in conjunction with 10 other Nigerian youths and ambassadors to train 35 students in 5 vocational courses, to visit homes under the (care 4 all project) to share experiences and let the young know they still have hope in Nigeria. Today, I am dropping my old,tight and only khaki knowing fully well that I have served my country and I am sure those 35students will serve 35 each more and the trend will continue and even when I pick a white collar job or get on my sewing machine creating ideas and designs more empowered youths will be created alongside.

Am i fulfilled? YES! Am i happy? YES! Am i grateful? YES! Am a lot of things including proud of everyone around me, everyone that always appreciated me, everyone that helps me get lucky, everyone that will do anything to make my plans become project. I can’t mention names anymore because you all know yourselves.

I thank the Lagos State Govt and the whole of NYSC crew for appreciating me and awarding me as outstanding productive corps member. The Lagos State Honours Award, means so much to me.

Don’t be quick to think Lagos is the happening place. In fact, if it is Zamfara it’s a place to give a hand to peace, new knowledge and also learn craft, Kwara state is the best place for practising agriculture; you don’t have to hold hoes or cutlasses, you can be opportunistic about it, my Ibadan corps members knew what was right “business”, just think of something you can passionately sell, A friend of my does delivery business in Ebonyi and Uyo back and forth and now has a certification on that, East- west, North- south of Nigeria is full of great opportunities, it just requires creative minds and ideology. We can find more than we can wait to get, just talk to me and many through @MADE_creations with #MADE/#MADE creations, lets create more opportunities for ourselves even though the government aren’t ready to make it easy.
GOOD TO GO … NOW YOUR STRUGGLE SURVIVAL CONTINUES

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BABIES DEVELOPMENT

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Baby’s development in the womb

Owing to the fact that i have a lot of pregnant and intending preggies as friends and colleagues i thought it will be nice to share this piece after coming across it along while ago. im not a doctor nor a nurse but you can be sure when it comes to BABIES i can go to lengths on finding information on them, right from sex to their youth-hood.

In this description, we have adopted the method doctors use. For example, where we write ‘week 8’ we have counted this from the first day of your last period — your baby will usually only be 6 weeks old at this point.
How doctors date your pregnancy

The average pregnancy lasts for 38 weeks from the date you conceive (this is called conception). However, doctors usually date your pregnancy from the first day of your last menstrual period — that is the day your last period started. Using this method a pregnancy is said to last 40 weeks (280 days).

Your due date is usually calculated as 40 weeks from the first day of your last period. However, fertilization of your egg by sperm happens a day or 2 after ovulation, which occurs in the middle of a 28-day cycle, and then it is a couple of days before the fertilized egg implants in the uterus, so for the first 2 weeks of the 40-week ‘pregnancy’ you are not actually pregnant at all.

First month

After the egg has been fertilized by the sperm, it starts to divide into more cells. This happens all the time it is carried along the fallopian tube to the uterus. By the time it reaches the uterus the fertilised egg has become a cluster of cells which float in the uterine cavity until it embeds in the wall of the uterus. This implantation in the wall of the uterus is when conception is complete. This is roughly 4 weeks after day one of the last menstrual period if you have a 28-day cycle.

Second month

At 5 weeks the embryo is the size of a grain of rice (about 2 mm long) and would be visible to the naked eye. It has the beginnings of a brain with 2 lobes and its spinal cord is starting to form.

At 6 weeks of ‘pregnancy’ (3-4 weeks after fertilisation) the embryo has a head with simple eyes and ears. Its heart has 2 chambers and is beating. Small buds are present that will form arms and legs later. The beginnings of the spine can be seen and the lower part of the body looks like a tail.

embryo at 6 weeks

At 7 weeks, the limb buds have grown into arms and legs. Nostrils can be seen on the embryo’s face. The heart now has 4 chambers.

At 8 weeks, the eyes and ears are growing, and your baby is about 2 cm long from crown to rump. The head is out of proportion with the body and the face is developing. The brain and the blood vessels in the head can be seen through the thin skin. The bones in the arms and legs start to harden and elbows and knees become apparent. Fingers and toes can also be seen.
Third month

What is known as the embryonic period finishes at the end of week 8 and the fetal period begins. This period sees rapid growth of the fetus, and the further development of the organs and tissues that were formed in the embryonic period.

fetus at 11 weeks

At week 9 the head is almost half the crown to rump length of the fetus. Then the body grows substantially in length until by week 12, the head is more in proportion. By the time you are 12 weeks’ ‘pregnant’, your baby is just over 5 cm long from crown to rump.

Its body is fully formed, including ears, toes and fingers complete with fingernails. The external genitals appeared in week 9, and now, by week 12, have fully differentiated into male or female genitals. By week 12 the eyes have moved to the front of the face and the eyelids remain closed together.
Fourth month

Your baby may suck its thumb now. By 14 weeks your baby will be about 9-10 cm long. Its body is now covered with a layer of fine hair called lanugo. By 16 weeks its face is becoming more human in appearance, although the chin is small and the mouth is quite wide. Between 16 and 24 weeks you should feel your baby move for the first time — it may at first feel like butterflies.
Fifth month

The rapid growth that your baby has been experiencing now begins to slow a little. By week 20 your baby measures about 18 centimetres from crown to rump and is half as long as it will be when born. The legs are now in proportion with the body and the fingernails are well developed. Faint eyebrows are visible. At this stage, you will feel your baby moving about a lot, often when you lie down.

fetus at 20 weeks
Sixth month

By 24 weeks your baby’s organs are fully formed. The baby now has the face of a newborn baby, although the eyes are rather prominent because fat pads are yet to build up in the baby’s cheeks. The eyelids are fused until weeks 25 to 26 when they open.

The skin is wrinkled, red and thin with little underlying fat. The skin is covered with a waxy substance called vernix, which protects it while it is floating in the uterus. The body is well muscled, but still thin. The baby has become better proportioned, with the size of the body catching up with the size of the head.

Your baby’s hearing is also well developed by this stage; the baby will respond to noise.
Seventh month

By 28 weeks lanugo hair has almost gone and hair is present on the head. Fat is being deposited under the skin.
Eighth month

Your baby is becoming plumper. By 30 weeks the toenails are present and by 32 weeks the fingernails have reached the ends of the fingers. The baby’s eyes will be open when the baby’s awake.

By about 32 weeks the baby will have settled into a downward position as there is no longer enough room left in the womb for it to move about freely. You will feel occasional vigorous jabs of the baby’s arms and legs.

If your baby is a boy, his testes will migrate down into the scrotum in the 8th month.
Ninth month

Sometime between 36 and 40 weeks, the baby’s head will engage — that is, the head will be lying just on top of your cervix. By 40 weeks, your baby should be plump and healthy.

The lanugo hair that had covered your baby has now mostly disappeared, although some hair may remain low on the forehead, in front of the ears and down the center of the back. The toenails should have reached the tips of the toes.
Full term

By full-term, your baby should weigh about 2.7 to 3.5 kg, although full-term babies can weigh anything from 2.5 to 5 kg, and measure 35 to 38 centimeters from crown to rump and 44 to 55 cm from the baby’s head to its toes. These are just average figures, though, and there can be wide variation in the measurements. So now, 38 weeks after conception, your baby has all its organs and body systems ready for the big moment when it is born into the world.

Meeting the(my) Dentist

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You know they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Right? Well yea!

Sunday night was hell, I kept myself distracted by pinging and tweeting(remember I said social network can be your best friend or worst enemy) just the way it has brought me to blogging, it was about to bring me cure.

A lot of my friends and followers sympathised with the way I related my threshold of pain in English, Gibberish, French, Science, Art and even Comedy. They probably thought I was joking until I asked @Giditraffic where i can get the best dentist. Let me rewind!

I started following @Giditraffic after he won the future awards and ever since he’s been of great help. He actually inspires me and sometimes I beef him (positive beefing sha). Back to the story.

Before I came back from the toilet, my mention was flooded with a lot of suggestion and links on how I can the best treatment. I was wowed with a “private dental clinic on Opebi and #LASUTH Ikeja”. It was a bit confusing as to who and whom to trust. I didn’t go with my heart nor my brain, my bank account chose for me. I decided to go with #LASUTH, since it is a government hospital and would definitely be cheaper. Good use of social network… Thank you @Giditraffic! Finding my way to #LASUTH on monday morning was challenge 1. I asked @Giditraffic again and yes, my mention was flooded. In about an hour, I was in #LASUTH nice and easy. The ride there was terrific but I was hopeful, no gallop or crazy conductor can ruin my day more than this ache in my ear, throat n gum.

I got to the Dental clinic’s reception but was denied any attention saying; I have to come before 8am to be attended to. Well, i didn’t know this beforehand and I can’t go all the way back to the island after missing work plus this pain?? No way! She just looked at me in a very disgusting way and walked out on me. I kept my cool and walked pass the dental rooms, making sure one of the doctors saw me, one finally caught my eye and I spoke immediately. “Sir, please I wasn’t well attended to and I need something to help me with my pain till tomorrow” I said with a teary eye. He smiled and promised it was going to be okay, asked me to get aspirin and come early the next day.

Of course, I fed my twitter fans (smiles and bats lashes) with my gist. I got several “get well soon” messages. I was feeling the attention 😀 at least it was distracting me from the pain.

Tuesday, 11th september, 2012 I rose up to defeat that woman that was beefing me because I kacked up to the hospital. No matter how sick I am, I look good (you know, Mr right might just be on the road), she should just deal with it. I got there in my jean and black top and my printed tuxedo jacket. Not minding her sad face, I got my appointment card and sat at the reception patiently waiting for my name/number to be called. Finally, after 3 hours of waiting and meeting a couple of people that I knew through the #ProjectIMMADE Campaign and few of my clients(I’m becoming popular o), I was at the doctor’s reception waiting for my turn. As usual, I had to protest some cheating that was going on, there and then someone else knew me; it was MIMs (olufemi) we’ve been virtual friends for a while. I didn’t even recognise him, I didn’t realise he was that young man. I have been eyeing the guy since I got to the doctor’s reception. Girls sha, someone I use to form for on twitter and bbm, I’ve been scoping him all morning (let’s hope he’s not reading this).

I got into the doctor’s room, sat on the dental chair, related all my issues with him, had them checked and was asked to take an X-ray. He insinuated that the upper flap would be cut and that I might have to undergo surgical extraction. Erm that is Dr Imade talking. He’s sweet, friendly, patient, loving, nice and all. The attributes you find in a doctor and a man. In about 2hrs of consultation and testing, we had talked about a lot of things including marriage. Well sadly, he was married. He got married in May 😦 .
After all the testings, he scheduled me for an emergency surgery the next day, 3pm on wednesday, 12th of september. I went in for the supposed surgery, I was relaxed and comfortable because I trusted my doctor, MIMs was there with me *winks*. I was supposed to go through the normal surgery, after been administered anaesthetic. But after 3 doses, I still was feeling pain in some parts of my mouth. Of course I don’t take alcohol or smoke but I just wasn’t responding. Dr Imade decided to give me one more dose and go in immediately, he promised not to do normal procedure because that would leave me out of work for 2weeks but will try some magic. To cut the long story short, his magic worked and I returned home. That night was the worst night ever. I thought my ear was going to explode but after two doses of Ibrophen and 5hours of grunting, I felt better. My gum is still sore, the stitch still hurts but its day 4 and I feel better already. Dr Imade still calls me twice a day to check up on me.

Moral of the story, I L♥√ع my doctor and the way he has handled his patients. If Doctors can be that nice, performing magic on patients would be a lot more magical. *wink wink*

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ASO EBI palava

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Aso-Ebi MADNESS! – A Personal Encounter

I’ll start by clearing up some things; I’ve never been married and I am not engaged so I write this purely from one side of the aisle. I’ve reached the age where everyone around me seems to be getting engaged and even the chronic non-wedding goers like me is forced to attend a few. So imagine my discomfort when I reluctantly decided to attend the wedding of an old school friend and she mentioned that she would send her driver to drop off the aso ebi. Aso- Ebi literally means clothes of the family and I concede that it has evolved to include close friends as well, but I mean, I was not one of her close friends anymore and I felt and still feel that aso ebi should be for your inner-circle of friends.
Anyway, I decided to buy it to support her and since she mentioned that it was Ankara and Aso Oke, I figured it wouldn’t cost me much. I couldn’t have been more WRONG! After her driver dropped it off, I called to find out how much it cost so I could send the money over and she said “Ah just 17 k, I didn’t want to pick expensive aso ebi like other brides I know”. I was dumbfounded. 17,000 Nigerian Naira for Ankara and aso oke??? What really baffled me was that she thought it was cheap. I returned her aso ebi and explained that I couldn’t make the wedding anymore because of family commitments but I did use part of the 17,000 I would have spent to get her a gift.
Can somebody please tell me why brides feel because it is their special day it is everyone else’s as well? For real? Boo, you are a princess to your man alone. Please don’t bankrupt your poor friends because you want to top person X, Y or Z’s aso ebi. My irritation with this issue is well known and I keep hoping someone will tell me something different but instead I hear outrageous stories of 50,000 naira asoebi and even asoebi as high as 80,000. Most of these brides are not even working yet let alone their friends.

I’ve been told that the sale of aso ebi is a way for some brides to raise money for the wedding. To those brides I say: please have the type of wedding your family can afford. DO NOT have your friends pay for your wedding. What is really wrong with our society? Why do we keep turning beautiful aspects of our culture into perverse displays of our greed and fake lifestyles? Aso Ebi was born in the tradition of family members wearing similar clothes to show support for the celebrant. It is not a money making scheme. Remember, not everyone in a family can afford exorbitant prices for clothes and I am sorry (I know I’m going to get heat for this) but it takes away from the whole point when you see two levels of asoebi in one family; one for the rich folks and one for the poorer relatives. I am not referring to situations where there is aso-ebi for young people and one for the older folks; I’m talking about when your cousin Shola or Nneka’s mum is wearing the aso-ebi you picked for members of your staff because the one you chose for so called “family members” is too expensive for them.
It is only fair that I say something to the people who encourage this behaviour. To all FRIENDS, it is okay to tell your friend that her aso-ebi is too expensive. In fact, tell her that I said you will not be bullied into spending half of your salary for her aso-ebi in addition to buying her a bridal shower gift and wedding present. I understand that we get caught up in the euphoria that our friend is finally going to the Promised Land (her hubby’s house) but as friends it is important to call each other to order. For those who go along just to belong… your issue is one for another post.
So, to my yet to be married ladies, please remember that though your wedding day is important, your marriage is most important. Do not bow to pressure from your mum or one of your aunts that sells lace or anyone else for that matter. When picking asoebi, remember that your friends can only wear it for one day. They love you and want to celebrate with you so reciprocate that love by being considerate of their finances.

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