Love, a mystery through the ages ~ JJ @omojuwa

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Morning blog ville, slept with L♥√ع in my heart and woke up feeling loved, and then @Omojuwa’s piece on L♥√ع just put a large smile in my heart, yes! The heart does smile….. Enjoy!

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As old as man, as mysterious as his thoughts. As soothing as the calm that comes with sharing it with the one your soul desires, like balm for every point of pain. Flip it and it becomes the source of many wars, the path to the underworld and the word that plays through the brain of many broken hearts who have found shelter in psychiatric homes. That same Love is the cord that joins many hearts together. Love has its many parts. While it is what keeps some hearts going, it is the reason some others don’t want to live anymore.

Often mistaken for a lot of other passions, including infatuation and even hatred, Love remains an enigma even in the age of incessant technological possibilities. I bet you’d wonder how Love could be mistaken for hatred. Have you ever wondered why two people who seemingly hated each other ended up having the best union? Sometimes Love mirages as hatred. You think you hate someone and you express it with so much vigour and passion, only for you to discover one or two things about the person and the passion takes a different hue. It expresses itself, as it always was in your heart even when you did not realise it. You discover you are in love even when it had always been there to be nurtured.

Of all that has been said and written about Love, few come as ironic as what I call the shadow of Love. We ignore those who desire us and desire those who ignore us. We love even more those who hurt us and are often bent on hurting those who love us. We run after those who’d run far away from us and run far away from those who run after us. We are desperate to have those that’d rather have other people, and are more desperate to have other people than have those that want us so much. Love plays around like a shadow that can be seen and even admired but never to be touched or even had. Most times we are in an endless cause of chasing shadows, thinking we are almost at the point of touching Love, but never to truly have it.

This brings about a chain of broken hearts and broken homes. We love today and tomorrow the love seemingly sags when we suddenly realise we love another. I may not know all about love but I know enough to conclude that there can be no love without sacrifice. You can’t claim to love someone until you can firmly conclude that you can and will sacrifice desires that contrast with your love for that whom you claim to love.

You will never have the most beautiful woman as wife, because some day beauty loses colour and soon fades, and soon you are back on the road chasing another woman. It often comes to me as strange, when men have beauty as top of their priority in choosing a wife. You desire the most beautiful woman, forgetting that the true beauty of a woman lies in her heart. She is not beautiful a woman if she does not possess a beautiful heart. Miss out on that and you miss out on everything. The beauty of the body soon fades, but that of the heart is immortal. It survives death because as the evil that men do lives after them, the good they showed leaves the world with them and also survives them.

It may come across as many things but despite its seeming mystery, Love is simple enough. It takes faith to Love. It takes faith to decide that, despite the glut of beauties in the world, once you decide for one, it will be that and that alone. If all that keeps you in love is the beauty you see, then in time the absence of it will keep you out of it.

Find a reason beyond what is seen, find the path to the heart of the one you love and discover the power of Love. If Love is not seen but felt, what makes you think what you see is what will keep your love going. Love may be a mystery, but if your heart of understanding is receptive to the truth, you will find that Love thrives on the mystery of Faith. What then is Faith? While you ponder on that, let me help your imagination by saying there would be no need for Faith in the midst of certainty. Faith exists because of uncertainty. Being certain of what is uncertain. This is the true essence of Faith, and it is where Love derives its essence, not on the certainty of a transient physical beauty that soon fades away.

I thank God for my physical beauty but I thank Him even more for the beauty of my heart. That is the essence of me and whoever discovers that discovers me. That is the path to demystifying the seeming Mystery of Love.

PS: Published in my Facebook Notes, May, 2010

How do you define beautiful?

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How do you define beautiful?

This is a big question. This is a question someone asked me after my last two posts, I chose this question today because I have been reading and contemplating different things (yes I know that is a big surprise) and I keep coming back to thinking about women and their obsession with their bodies and their outer appearance. I am one of these women. I get so hooked on worrying about what I look like and ache to have all of my imperfections fixed. One day I can feel totally confident and comfortable with myself and the next I don’t want to even look in the mirror. Those days I feel like it is unfair that I have to look the way that I do. I feel like it is unfair that I don’t have a perfectly fit body or perfect teeth or perfect skin. Yes, those days can feel really rough and will drain me so badly. Luckily those days are coming much fewer and far between because I am not grasping life in a different way. That is me though. I know so many women that still suffer with this self-loathing every second of every single day. It is a mental illness because we have wired our brains to think we are not good enough or that we have to be a certain size or shape with a particular hair color and flawless skin in order to be considered beautiful. This is so wrong. Beauty does not have a thing to do with the outer appearance. Yes, some people have been blessed with flawless skin or very shapely beautiful bodies but those things do not at all define who they are. They are assets that will change and age over time. This is not an insult….this is just the cycle we call life. We all age and we all grow old.

So, then what is beautiful? How can one define this word? I do not understand how the dictionary even has a definition because in my opinion beauty is something different to everyone. There are so many words that have these set definitions in this book that has guided us all of our lives. Such words as: truth, perfection, right, wrong and love. To me they can only be defined individually, not as a whole for everyone to believe is right and there is no bending.
Beautiful is a person being completely true to self.

Beautiful is having the ability to carry love in your heart at all times even when everything seems to be going wrong.

Beautiful is opening up your mind and learning as much in this world as possible. Beautiful is always striving to be better.

Beautiful is inspiring others.

Beautiful is being scared to death but being courageous all at the same time.

Beautiful is admitting your flaw and faults but not allowing them define you.

Beautiful is you being the only person to define you, no one else.

Beautiful is having strong convictions and beliefs but still being open to other’s points of view.

Beautiful is acting with kindness and compassion.

Beautiful is putting other’s before yourself.

Beautiful is accepting yourself. You may not be thin or the most successful person in school or where you work but you are still one of a kind. Knowing and believing that is beautiful.

Beauty is everywhere in this world, around every corner and behind every door. We sometimes just have to take off our judgmental glasses to see it. What does not fit our mold may be perfect for someone else.

Sometimes when I write these blog entries I feel like I complete cheese out. I feel like people are going to think I am this all-knowing perfect angel that does nothing wrong and harps all of this stuff about positive thinking and inspiration. Well, I guess I am one of those people. No, I am far from a perfect angel but I have an immense amount of goodness in my heart. I need to follow my own advice and stop letting my thoughts about what other’s are thinking take me over. I have to say to myself, “You are being positive and trying to motivate others. If other’s find that bad that is there choice. You are doing a great thing. You know it helps you and you can help others even if it is in just a small way.” I do want people to know they are beautiful. I think that is very important in life. As i didn’t especially in the last few weeks not embracing my beauty because I had the definition all wrong. I got all caught up in the media’s definition of beauty is and my thoughts on what I thought a man wants a woman to look like that I completely lost touch with what beauty truly is. I bring up these subjects in my blog because I know so many women (and I know men do too) criticize themselves inside and out. We hate our nose or our ears stick out or our thighs are too big or our boobs aren’t big enough (I would be speaking of others about the boob thing-I surely don’t have that problem-hahahaha). I write these things to remind myself. We live in this society where there is a really warped idea of what beautiful really is. Who do you surround yourself with? How do they define beauty? Do you agree? If not, it may be time to reevaluate your settings and who you surround yourself with. Take a second and reflect back on your childhood (probably up until about 3rd grade). What you looked like and what you wore did not matter. How much money you had was insignificant. Everyone was your friend (for the most part). All that mattered was having fun and enjoying life. Life should not be any different but unfortunately it is. BUT, you can always make a choice as to how you view things and how you want to react to them. There are a lot of in your face questions that can be asked here: Do you enjoy allowing other’s to define you? Do you believe that being beautiful means being tall and thin? Have you ever met someone with great physical attributes but a really ugly personality? Is this person still beautiful to you? How many times have you actually met someone like that? I have met several people like that. They try to get through life on their looks, and some of them may for awhile but looks fade. I have met men before that have been extremely handsome (at least they appealed to my eye) and as soon as they spoke they immediately lost all beauty and wonder. Their arrogance and ignorance became a major turnoff. They were unable to see anything outside of themselves and in my opinion that is probably one of the most UN-Beautiful qualities a person could have.

So readers tell me this…have you experienced beauty today? Where and in what? I want to know what you see. :0)

i dont feel beautiful :(

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I really wasn’t sure if I should post this today.

I mean, yeah, it’s my blog, but um, uh, should I?

I’ve always gone on about positive body image and self esteem and being happy and this just seems to counteract that. But it’s what I’ve been struggling with lately and I want to share my whole journey with you all. So here it is.

The last few weeks or so has been a huge struggle for me. I gained weight especially in my cheeks and stomach area because I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped taking care of myself because I stopped caring. There are several reasons why this happened (really, lots) but I’ve noticed one that sticks out.

I don’t feel beautiful (well i feel ugly, but i won’t be pessimistic).

I am cute, funny, smart, quirky, playful, fun loving, generally happy, and awesome. Those things I truly believe about myself. I’m a really cool person. I enjoy spending time with people and making the world a better place. I like to have fun and want everyone around me to have fun too. But I still don’t think I’m beautiful even though people say i am.

I’m cute and have a sense of style that’s very much my own. Yes. These things I’ll agree to. But beautiful? Of recent? No.

I’ve been told I’m beautiful. My friends,clients and colleagues like to use the word beautiful to describe me after they meet me. I am with an awesome person who tells me that a lot and probably will tell me that every day for the rest of my life. It still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t believe it i know i have an attractive body but the feeling of beauty, i just don’t have..

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think I look sort of pretty. I very often think I look cute. But stretching my perception of myself much beyond that is a struggle. It’s a struggle I haven’t been winning lately, because sometimes when I look in the mirror all I see is multicoloured skin . Just flaws. The flaws that still sticks around and doesn’t want to leave without a fight. Sometimes when I look at myself I see that and I just give up trying to see anything more. I know it shouldn’t be that way, but it is.

And because sometimes I can’t see beautiful or anything else good, so I give up trying. I stop taking care of myself and doing the things I like to do because they make me happy. I just sort of exist and let time pass without enjoying it. All because I don’t feel beautiful, or I suppose, worth it.

I’ve written about body image a lot in the past. I really do believe we are all beautiful people, no matter what our bodies look like. But we have to take care of ourselves, use your lotion, drugs, eat Good food,drink a lot of water, exercise well and apply all the necessary makeups. In the last few months have been working so hard and earning as deserved but i can count how many new good things i have in my closet, i was forced to shop last week but i was too busy to do it, i don’t even take good care of my hair anymore, how will i? When i don’t even have a body cream. Even though I accept my body for what it is and love it, I’m still carrying around the notions that I’m careless about it, so its leaving me for someone else 3-|

So I sit and I think and I wonder about myself. About why I can’t feel beautiful. About why the hurts from the past don’t go away as easily as I want them to. About how it’s not fair that I really never was black or ugly (i L♥√ع dark skinned girls, but i L♥√ع my old brown sugar self) but was made to believe that so much it became my own self fulfilling prophecy. About how I really, really do want to be beautiful. About how I hope that one day it happens, meaning that I believe it.

So i took a test….

what’s your opinion 😀

EKO for show

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The Lagos BLACK HERITAGE FESTIVAL which took place at the TAFAWA BALEWA SQUARE on the 9th of April 2012 kicked off with several local govt repping themselves with artistic wears, creative parades and beautiful people. here are some pictures;

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i was there with my friends:

AND THE BEST DRESSED WAS……………………..

I remember telling this lady i needed a picture of her for my blog and she was so excited.. but what on earth was she thinking? well maybe she decided to carnivalise too..\

AS ALWAYS…ASSOCIATION OF LAST CARRIERS. but then you sure would have fun.. :p

credit: TDS photography and me