BACK TO SCHOOL?

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Hi blogville, how is november treating us? its been good to me so far… my posts have been slow or even absent recently, don’t mind me. im just trying to enjoy my break all together. well I have plenty plenty gist for you, I am doing plenty plenty stuff sef, some ofofo people already know, some don’t and me sef I don’t know all because really my life has been amazing recently. You know what? sad days are over! not like I am 100% happy but comparing the testimonies in my life with that of 2012 happenings i think i am blessed.

Back when I was in nursery or more realistically primary school, I have always wanted to be a scientist, I used to see myself as one of the worlds greatest talent 😦 My father never really believed in me neither did my mum think I was serious but graduating into junior secondary, excelling in a lot of science games and competition shifted their believes a little bit, being appointed the health prefect in senior secondary brought lime light into my love for saving and being an important part of success. Then, I choose medicine. it was a yeey moment when I finally gained admission into two schools to study medicine in th year 2006 but declined because of distance and also same in 2007 but accepted one. This always made me feel like medicine chose me since all trial was successful, all I needed to do was study hard and show my family and friends what a great doctor I could and would be.

well well, seems they were right  I wasnt so good at that but still good as a  scientist. Also, I discovered something else, something great and overwhelming. I was good at not just one thing but at many things, I joined groups and teams, created and innovated. I was a symbol of a strong girl and this I wasnt going to give up. I had changed shoes

BACK THEN IN PRIMARY

The famous “container” call me razz or local, for all i care. Many if not all of us wore this at a point in time, especially those of us that the school headmasters and headmistresses made it compulsory for every parent to buy this for each student, well life then was follow follow, you barely had the chance to choose, the few areas where you choose are very negligible. we all went to school everyday asking for samething we had yesterday, not exactly thinking or making differences but as we grew some of us quickly learnt to stand out but still in theses shoes.

KITTO OF LIFE!!!

This was one of the most loved school sandal type, popularly known as KITTO, I rocked it and even when I changed it, I got the same kind of shoes all over again, it was swift and easy to wear, no pain no stress. once you wash, you are good to go.

my life then; it was swift because it was what majority wore, we all loved KITTO. And no matter the popularity or commoness we didnt mind, Our life choices were based upon what family and friends wanted. Our environment was a determinant of what we planned our lives to be, there were no particular guidance towards what you should or shouldnt do, there were just rules. which was: wash, dry, clean and wear. no one looks at the fittness or attractiveness, weather it was curvy or straight so far it fits.

shoe awon medico

Then, I adopted the black holes, I called it black holes back then because I had to drag myself in it out of interest, going from one lecture hall to the other most of which never interest me, this shoes were no fun at all, patent and tight leather. But what choice do I have since its compulsory for medical students to wear black flats, why dont i just practise it now.

over-worn hahhaha

yea yea, I know its worn out and thats why i photoshoped it, well my shoe is an exact interpretation of my life as a zoologist, the last 3 years spent in Uni wasn’t fun or embraced, I just wanted out. Each day i wore the shoes, the sun’s reflection reminds me of how old it is and i keep telling myself it was the last day I would wear it but yimz I wore it over and over again and even kept it till after Uni to remind myself of how strong the shoe was despite the critism and discrimination from all other shoes it faced in lecture rooms and labouratory it never broke a leg or tear. It was my lucky shoe. 😦

The ugly “JUNGLE BOOT” It is fierce and painful, not attractive to the eye, never appealing, not even easy to carry but you know what?, it is rewarding, protective and bring alot of pride. theses boots i adopted forcefully, from day one were i wore it after leaving camp searching for a job and having to wear it all the way because my mom wanted to see me in the not so appealing khaki. it brought me joy, a fulfilling job and it made me proud. today i don’t longer yarn for it because its been dumped and kept in hiding, given no man because i appreciate this shoe aka jungle boot. AND when people ask, what next? i think of what it has brought me; a self satisfying job. if i had not adopted NYSC i probably wont have gotten my present job and when i said “…today is the first day of the rest of my life…” I wasnt just saying, I meant it. today, I adopted new shoes, though not as comfortable as my slips but very befitting and enhancing. along the life-line no shoe is exactly suiting or comfortable we just have to learn how to work with IT.

Back to the top: when I was bragging about how much of science I knew and wanted to venture in, God was probably sittig somewhere, laughing at my ignorant self, He knew from day one that even though I hated to work for someone, I will still have to, in order to learn how to run a buisness, Even though i wasnt and crave my own enterprise, i still have manage anothers’, even though I choose a particular path for myself, he knew which will not be so rocky, I cant climb and even though I fantacised about so many shoes, he chooses the perfect one for me. Some one said to me this morning that “Maryam, you are very lucky” I smiled and said; Indeed I am blessed.

Today, don’t dropout and sit home, don’t get frustrated by your tight shoes and wear dunlop, work it out, it hurts and it might not fit but once you find your self in one, work it out. if you get to the change stage, pick a much nicer one.

So as for those who asked, BACK TO SCHOOL? Hell yeah, my workplace is more than just an office, its a school because i know little about my job roles but i am going to learn and excel because i believe.

exit and singing; i believe that i can make it and i know that i can stand, no matter what may come my way, my life is in your hands…. *smiles*

 

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Are you where you thought you would be?

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Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?

I have been asked this question over and over again and every time the answer changes. The answer changes because I am always changing. Where you want to be in your life and where you think you will actually be are 2 very different things. As children we all wanted to be rich and famous and well-known (well most of us-maybe not all). But realistically we knew this was not going to be the case.

I can honestly say I never had a clear picture of what I thought my life would be like at this point.

I am the type of person that wants to learn and experience so much that I am unable to think of a life only one certain way. It would actually be almost impossible to picture my life at a future time. I will always have goals and dreams and I do hope some of these come into fruition but I don’t rely on these things to shape my life to define me.

I believe I am undefinable. I would have never guessed that I would be working in an IT firm or even be a fashion designer or at most surprising be a writer. I want to pursue a degree in human resource management or project management, I will eat my words with saying this and probably catch a lot of hell, but I am unsure of exactly how I want to use this degree and i definitely will go to fashion school. When I first started with this it was never my intention to make a name out of this but over the past year I have dove a lot into art and even learning how to sew and more on design techniques. people recommend, request and call me for different projects i don’t even have any idea about, its so sweet to know that few people believe in me and that as earlier planned am a role model to a few and still in-charge of my little tittle “FIRST CHILD”

OK, now back to the topic at hand…Am I where I thought I would be at this point in my life? As stated, I never saw my life in a certain way. if going by my initial plan, i should still be in school studying medicine, but going by the later plan, well what can i say Alhamdulilah. The only thing that is most important in my life (and I hope it is in everyone else’s – even through the hard times) is happiness. The thing about that though that I needed to change was realizing that happiness is a journey and not a destination. I still have to remind myself of that all of the time because I am always looking for an end…and while looking for that end I am missing the incredible journey I am on in this very moment. It has taken me a really long time to get to this point.

I am at a crucial point in my life where things are starting to make sense and I am feeling more in tune with who I am than I ever have. I still have a hard time accepting things and I do not always stand up for myself and I dislike confrontation in any form but I am learning. I am accepting what is right now. I am learning that I am beyond lucky for the things that I have in my life. I go through phases of loneliness and anxiety but I never stop forgetting that they are only moments and the world is too big of a place to get stuck in one small rut. I am slowly starting to talk more about who I really am and face fears that I had been ignoring for a long time. I am bringing what is on the inside out and the journey is absolutely breathtaking.

So i am not there yet, a lot of things have gone out of place, a lot in place and a lot too arranged am over whelmed but i am grateful and happy to be where i am because it is so promising and with you all by my side encouraging me.. i will get there!

ARE YOU THERE YET? and if not, where would you be in 5years?