why do people cheat?


Hmm why do people cheat? I thought this would be a question to ponder and see where my thoughts take me. I really have no solid answer and I believe no one really does to this question. I have never ever cheated on anyone while in a relationship BUT I have to admit that I have been the girl who a guy has cheated on his girlfriend with. Either way, both situations are wrong. It was easier for me to be the other girl because the few times that it has happened, I have not known the #1 woman (but one time i knew the girl). I guess deep down I felt like the guy was more at fault than I was so I just dove in…yes yes I know that is stupid thinking. I have never cheated on anyone in a relationship because mainly I don’t get involved with someone (like truly commit myself to someone) unless I am really feeling passionate about being with them. I don’t cheat because I have no desire to…Secondly, I AM THE WORST LIAR IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!! I truly believe that everything I am thinking shows directly through my facial expressions.

The days of stupid mistakes of being the other woman or being a part of a triangle of deception are long over for this girl. So, why do people cheat? A lot of people would say/suggest that men are unable to be monogamous. The idea of being with only one woman physically for the rest of their lives terrifies them and eventually they just crack under pressure . I have no idea whether this is true or not because I do not have a penis to think with…OK I admit that was a low blow. Ha Ha just having a little fun here. I tend to veer away from the idea of marriage because monogamy is becoming an ideal of the past and I do not like the thought of that. So again, why do people cheat?

It could be easy to spout off at the mouth and accuse men of being the main culprits of cheating but nowadays this would not be the truth. Women have fallen into the category of cheaters just as much. I believe people cheat because they rush into relationships and they have yet to find themselves. They “think” they know who they are and what they want and they then get involved with another person and realize that they are clueless about their needs and wants. I believe people get tangled in the web of attraction and the initial excitement of a new relationship and they believe that what they have is real but then when they find themselves months and years down the road they realize that they have compromised a lot of themselves on behalf of this other person. I believe resentment could also be a big factor when it comes to cheating. After enough time it could become easier and easier to blame the other person for stripping away your identity so what is the best way to get back at them??? Yes, I think you know where I am going with this.

I have absolutely no solid answers as to why people cheat. I, myself, have such a strong value for love that I believe that if it is true and absolutely genuine love (which again I believe is rare) that cheating would not be an option. If the need to wander were to occur, I believe a respectful person would end the relationship before venturing out and riding the next train that comes along. We live in a society that has seen this immense change when it comes to relationships and the whole concept of “dating”. Men no longer “court” women and technology has become the main form of communication between people. I have said it many times before and I will say it again, human contact is diminishing every single day due to the increase in technology. I believe there are a lot of factors that could influence someone to cheat. “Peer pressure” alone could drive someone into the bed of a stranger.

I have to laugh because just recently an old “friend” contacted me. We met about two years ago and more or less had a fling. It was short-lived as i discovered he was lying about everything and just wanted to cheat and i just happened to be the girl. we kept in touch though We always just kept it short and sweet and he always spouted about how he loved being with me (in the physical sense) and I was so fun and just what he needed and wanted in that department (pat on the back to me-haha). even he broke up with his ex, He ended up meeting another girl and they have now been in a relationship for over a year now. He sent me an email just days ago asking me to come visit him and also asked for some pretty explicit things to happen between the two of us (yes I am trying to keep this PG rated). He told me that he cared about his girlfriend and they did a lot together but she was unable to fulfill him in that way and he mainly was with her because it was comfortable. I thought to myself, “Wow, I would hate to be that girl.” I then thought to myself, “Maybe I have been that girl and never knew it.” How awful would it be to find out that your significant other told someone/people who were with you only because it was comfortable? It is frightening to think about the number of people that cheat and feel absolutely no regrets of remorse about it. Again, I am far from perfect but I can’t wrap my brain around the idea of someone cheating and thinking it is just fine…like they are deserving of the opportunity to cheat…life has dealt them a bad hand so that is their reward to themselves.

By no means am I validating cheating, but I do believe it takes some people longer than others to mature and to prioritize and balance their lives. In our late teens, early 20’s, we are all still working on getting our lives in order and let’s face it..most of us don’t know our heads from our asses. We may think we have it all together but we don’t. If we get involved in relationships at these early stages in life I think we start to realize pretty quickly that there are so many other options out there. I have heard plenty of young guys state how great it is to play the field but still have a woman to come home to at night. It’s a young person’s clueless mentality. It’s a selfish mentality. I think it takes a lot of growing and learning to finally get rid of the “It’s all about me mentality.”  I think we are accustomed to getting what we want when we want and in truth that is not natural or right.

to add to all these, i think people cheat because one or both partners are very nonchalant of each others needs and wants, and when someone else is making your partner happy, cheating is inevitable but mindless of all these, a lot of people cheat because they lack sense of satisfaction.

As you can see I have absolutely no solid answers to this questions. These are just my jumbled thoughts as to why I think people may cheat. I hate to even ask the question (because it does make me lose more hope) to people whether or not they have cheated because I know the number of yes answers would be higher than I would be prepared for. Is it true, once a cheater always a cheater?

sincerely, apart from being tired of finding the right guy am fed up of guys who have a relationship and seek other girls claiming the current guy is the cause.

To my readers, I would really love your input on this subject. I would love some words to give me encouragement and hope but I also want the brutal, honest truth! Have you ever cheated? What was your reasoning at the time? Would you cheat again? Have you ever been cheated on?

How do you define beautiful?


How do you define beautiful?

This is a big question. This is a question someone asked me after my last two posts, I chose this question today because I have been reading and contemplating different things (yes I know that is a big surprise) and I keep coming back to thinking about women and their obsession with their bodies and their outer appearance. I am one of these women. I get so hooked on worrying about what I look like and ache to have all of my imperfections fixed. One day I can feel totally confident and comfortable with myself and the next I don’t want to even look in the mirror. Those days I feel like it is unfair that I have to look the way that I do. I feel like it is unfair that I don’t have a perfectly fit body or perfect teeth or perfect skin. Yes, those days can feel really rough and will drain me so badly. Luckily those days are coming much fewer and far between because I am not grasping life in a different way. That is me though. I know so many women that still suffer with this self-loathing every second of every single day. It is a mental illness because we have wired our brains to think we are not good enough or that we have to be a certain size or shape with a particular hair color and flawless skin in order to be considered beautiful. This is so wrong. Beauty does not have a thing to do with the outer appearance. Yes, some people have been blessed with flawless skin or very shapely beautiful bodies but those things do not at all define who they are. They are assets that will change and age over time. This is not an insult….this is just the cycle we call life. We all age and we all grow old.

So, then what is beautiful? How can one define this word? I do not understand how the dictionary even has a definition because in my opinion beauty is something different to everyone. There are so many words that have these set definitions in this book that has guided us all of our lives. Such words as: truth, perfection, right, wrong and love. To me they can only be defined individually, not as a whole for everyone to believe is right and there is no bending.
Beautiful is a person being completely true to self.

Beautiful is having the ability to carry love in your heart at all times even when everything seems to be going wrong.

Beautiful is opening up your mind and learning as much in this world as possible. Beautiful is always striving to be better.

Beautiful is inspiring others.

Beautiful is being scared to death but being courageous all at the same time.

Beautiful is admitting your flaw and faults but not allowing them define you.

Beautiful is you being the only person to define you, no one else.

Beautiful is having strong convictions and beliefs but still being open to other’s points of view.

Beautiful is acting with kindness and compassion.

Beautiful is putting other’s before yourself.

Beautiful is accepting yourself. You may not be thin or the most successful person in school or where you work but you are still one of a kind. Knowing and believing that is beautiful.

Beauty is everywhere in this world, around every corner and behind every door. We sometimes just have to take off our judgmental glasses to see it. What does not fit our mold may be perfect for someone else.

Sometimes when I write these blog entries I feel like I complete cheese out. I feel like people are going to think I am this all-knowing perfect angel that does nothing wrong and harps all of this stuff about positive thinking and inspiration. Well, I guess I am one of those people. No, I am far from a perfect angel but I have an immense amount of goodness in my heart. I need to follow my own advice and stop letting my thoughts about what other’s are thinking take me over. I have to say to myself, “You are being positive and trying to motivate others. If other’s find that bad that is there choice. You are doing a great thing. You know it helps you and you can help others even if it is in just a small way.” I do want people to know they are beautiful. I think that is very important in life. As i didn’t especially in the last few weeks not embracing my beauty because I had the definition all wrong. I got all caught up in the media’s definition of beauty is and my thoughts on what I thought a man wants a woman to look like that I completely lost touch with what beauty truly is. I bring up these subjects in my blog because I know so many women (and I know men do too) criticize themselves inside and out. We hate our nose or our ears stick out or our thighs are too big or our boobs aren’t big enough (I would be speaking of others about the boob thing-I surely don’t have that problem-hahahaha). I write these things to remind myself. We live in this society where there is a really warped idea of what beautiful really is. Who do you surround yourself with? How do they define beauty? Do you agree? If not, it may be time to reevaluate your settings and who you surround yourself with. Take a second and reflect back on your childhood (probably up until about 3rd grade). What you looked like and what you wore did not matter. How much money you had was insignificant. Everyone was your friend (for the most part). All that mattered was having fun and enjoying life. Life should not be any different but unfortunately it is. BUT, you can always make a choice as to how you view things and how you want to react to them. There are a lot of in your face questions that can be asked here: Do you enjoy allowing other’s to define you? Do you believe that being beautiful means being tall and thin? Have you ever met someone with great physical attributes but a really ugly personality? Is this person still beautiful to you? How many times have you actually met someone like that? I have met several people like that. They try to get through life on their looks, and some of them may for awhile but looks fade. I have met men before that have been extremely handsome (at least they appealed to my eye) and as soon as they spoke they immediately lost all beauty and wonder. Their arrogance and ignorance became a major turnoff. They were unable to see anything outside of themselves and in my opinion that is probably one of the most UN-Beautiful qualities a person could have.

So readers tell me this…have you experienced beauty today? Where and in what? I want to know what you see. :0)