A day in a faster’s life

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Do you want to protect yourself from the thirst of 50.000 years on the Day of Judgment?

When you fast one day in Ramadhan, this means you fast for 14 hours = 50.000 seconds.
Do you imagine that these 50.000 seconds protect you from the thirst of 50.000 years on the Day of Judgment?

This means that one second in Ramadhan equals an entire year of the years of thirst and heat on the Day of Judgment!!

Dear brother and sister, Ramadhan, once missed, cannot be recovered. It is enough that you missed many Ramadhans in your life. If you fell once, rise up and do not despair.

Let this Ramadhan be as if it were the last in your life. So, whet your resolution and start Ramadhan projects with us as much as possible:

Project (1): How to be a multi-millionaire in 30 days

Do you know that the good deeds of reciting the whole Qur’an on regular days = 3.3 million good deeds (it means that it cancels 3.3 million bad deeds). Multiplication of good deeds in Ramadhan makes the reward of umrah in Ramadhan = the reward of performing hajj with the Prophet (Peace be upon him). Then, what about the recitation of the whole Qur’an in Ramadhan? Here are hundreds of millions of good deeds in your hands. Would you let them go, then you shall regret every single good deed you lost on the Day of Judgment? Recitation of the whole Qur’an will make your balance more than that of millionaires and billionaires!!

Project (2): Ramadhan has changed me (Taraweeh) preparation project)

Taraweeh is: the restful night prayer in Ramadhan.
Prepare the part of the Qur’an to be recited at night during the taraweeh prayer. Read it after afternoon prayer with deliberation and reflection and you will realize the profound difference in your concentration at taraweeh prayer. (In this way, you will achieve two recitations of the whole Qur’an: the one at taraweeh and the one after afternoon prayer).If possible, read the interpretation of that part or listen to a cassette on the same topic.

Project (3): Lost Treasure
Many people waste their time after iftar although that if you read just one part of the Qur’an you will recite the whole Qur’an during the month. What prevents you from doing that: is it a comic program? Or an interview with an artist?

Project (4): What are you waiting for, brother? (Repentance Knights)

Promise Allah (the Almighty) in Ramadhan to repent every day from a certain sin and never perpetrate it again. On the first day, give up smoking; on the second, give up forbidden mingling with the other sex; on the third, stop listening to the forbidden songs; on the fifth, clean your mobile and hard desk from anything that can cause Allah’s wrath etc. (Try as much as possible to use television and the Internet beneficially in Ramadhan, and ever after).

Project (5):

What are you waiting for, sister? (Ramadhan Female Knights) Wear full hijab in Ramadhan, that of Lady Fatimah and Lady ‘Aishah (May Allah be pleased with them). For if you do not obtain Allah’s mercy while all doors of paradise and the seven heavens are
open, when then?

Project (6): Night Worshippers (Knights of Night Vigil Prayers)

Read this amazing hadith: (Every night in Ramadhan, Allah descends to the nearest heaven and asks: Is there no one asking forgiveness that I may forgive him? Is there no one asking sustenance that I may grant him sustenance? Is there no one under trial that I may relieve him? Is there not such-and-such, is there not such-and-such, and so forth until dawn rises.’). descends every night of the year during the last third of the night but in Ramadhan it is two thirds. Night in Ramadhan is a valuable opportunity for relief and forgiveness. What a chance for all of
us!! You can sleep tight only if you do not have sins, if you do not need anything from Allah (the Almighty), and if you do not long for the nearness of Allah in Paradise.

Project (7): First Kick
Let the beginning of the month the strongest. Once Ramadhan starts whet your resolution and insist that the first night would be the night Allah (the Almighty) protects you from hellfire. Let every night in Ramadhan be like that. (Every night Allah frees people from hellfire.) [Corrected by al-Alabni] You have 60 chances for protection from hellfire: every day and every night. One of them is enough; let it be!!

Project (8): Daily Seven Hajjs (pilgrimages) in Ramadhan
Do you know that if you go to perform ablution once you hear athan (prayer call) and then head to the mosque to pray, you will have the reward of hajj. (Whoever walks to an obligatory prayer in congregation, it is like hajj, and whoever walks to a voluntary prayer, it is like a voluntary umrah. The woman at home has the same reward. Another hajj: (Whoever prays fajr-morning prayers-in congregation, then sits remembering Allah until the sun rises, then prays two rakats, he will receive the reward of hajj, and umrah – complete, complete, complete.) This means you will have the reward of 30 times of hajj and umrah in Ramadhan. Another hajj: the Prophet (Peace be upon him) once said that the reward of attending a scholarly lesson is like that of hajj. If you pray taraweeh and listen to the brief sermon among the rakats, this would be a lesson. Be sensible and do not waste the reward of seven times of hajj daily.

Project (9): Keys of Allah’s Treasures
Do you know that in Ramadhan you have 60 supplications that will be rewarded? This means that 60 problems of your life can be solved or 60 dreams can come true. (For every Muslim, there is a rewarded supplication on every day and night) [Corrected by al-Albani]. If the richest person in the world gave you 60 blank checks, you would be in the air!! Allah (the Almighty) gives you 60 rewarded supplications. (Keep a small supplications booklet in your pocket and read in order not to waste the keys of Allah’s treasures).

Project (10): The Night of Life

The Night of Power is 12 hours that are better than one thousand months, that is, better than 720.000 hours (3/4 million hours). During that Night the hour is better than 60.000 hours (the ayah of the Qur’an during that Night is better than 60.000 ayahs in other nights and the rak’a is better than 60.000 rakats etc.) Indeed, (the one deprived from its bliss is the deprived indeed) [Hadith Sahih] It is really life night, visit your relatives, invite people to iftar (time of eating after fasting), call those you have a problem with, pray as much as possible, and forgive those who have wronged you.

Project (11): Be a Companion

(An umrah in Ramadhan is like accompanying me on hajj). [Sahih al-Bukhari] Only umrah in Ramadhan can make you like the Companions is accompanying the Prophet (Peace be upon him).

Project (12): Increase and Extend your Sustenance

Do you have a problem in sustenance? Do you search for a rewarding job? Do you want a good husband? Do you want to have children? Do you want a good wife? (Whoever wants an increase in his sustenance and that the marks of his feet remain for a long time in the world (i.e. to live long) – he should be kind and helpful to his relatives.) Do not forget to invite your relatives and neighbors for iftar in Ramadan.

Project (13): 30 Places in Paradise

These are not 30 palaces in the Riviera or the Northern Coast; they are in Paradise. Observe 12 rakats of sunnah every day (2 before fajr,
4 before noon and 2 after, 2 after maghrib, and 2 after isha.)

Project (14): Fasting Insurance

Every faster you invite for iftar gives you the reward of another fasting day in Ramadhan and the reward of one day can be multiplied by ten. If you invite 36 fasters it is as if you fasted 360 days, that is, as if you made the whole year an elongated Ramadhan. (Do not forget Ramadhan charity bag, putting date boxes at the Mosque, giving people date while going to the mosque, iftar of people on highways, and other situations).

Project (15): Intensive Care Project

I’tikaaf (seclusion) in the last ten days; the lives of many youth changed due to I’tikaaf and the writer is among them. Try that in order to be brought up again during these days.

Project (16): Direction of the Monies of Zakaat and Charity.
Islam Call Society (Tableegh al-Islam) which helped thousands to embrace Islam. Dear Muslim brothers and sisters everywhere do not let anything divert you away from good deeds in Ramadhan. Do not forget to call non-Muslims to Islam politely and decently through your words and deeds and prayer for them.

This is a great Ramadan reminder that I saw on a site. May Allah bless with great rewards for sharing. Ameen.

P.S: I am not promoting my blog and I am not getting a single cent for running this blog. Everything is for the sake of Allah in sha Allah.

intoduction to ISLAM cont…

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part1

===== Human Rights =====

Islam has been from its inception very concerned with issues of human rights. Privacy, freedom, dignity and equality are guaranteed in Islam. The holy Qur’an states clearly:

“There is no compulsion in religion.”

#bokoharam watch out!

And there are no reliable reports to confirm the old accusations that when the Muslim armies were expanding into Asia, Africa and Europe the people were put to the sword if they failed to convert to Islam. The best proof is that not only did the Christians, Jews, Zoroastrians and Hindus in those areas not perish or otherwise disappear, they actually flourished as protected minority communities, and many individuals rose to prominent positions in the arts, sciences, even in government.

The lives,property and privacy of all citizens in an Islamic state are considered sacred, whether or not the person is Muslim. Non-Muslims have freedom of worship and the practice of their religions, including their own family law and religious courts. They are obliged to pay a different tax (Jizyah) instead of the Zakah, and the state is obligated to provide both protection and government services. Before the modern era it was extremely rare to find a state or government anywhere in the world that was as solicitors of its minorities and their civil rights as the Islamic states.

In no other religion did women receive such a degree of legal and moral equality and personal respect. Moreover, racism and tribalism are incompatible with Islam, for the Qur’an speaks of human equality in the following terms:

“Mankind! We created you from a single soul, male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may come to know one another. Truly, the most honoured of you in God’s sight is the greatest of you in piety.”

===== Jesus =====

Islam honors all the prophets who were sent to mankind. Muslims respect all prophets in general, but Jesus in particular, because he was one of the prophets who foretold the coming of Muhammad. Muslims, too, await the second coming of Jesus. They consider him one of the greatest of Allah’s prophets to mankind. A Muslim does not refer to him simply as “Jesus,” but normally adds the phrase “peace be upon him” as a sign of respect.

No other religion in the world respects and dignifies Jesus as Islam does. The Qur’an confirms his virgin birth (a chapter of the Qur’an is
entitled “Mary”), and Mary is considered to have been one of the purest women in all creation. The Qur’an describes Jesus’ birth as follows:

“Behold!’ the Angel said, God has chosen you, and purified you, and chosen you above the women of all nations. Mary, God gives you good news of a word from Him, whose name shall be the Messiah, Jesus
son of Mary, honoured in this world and in the Hereafter, and one of those brought near to God. He shall speak to the people from his
cradle and in maturity, and he shall be of the righteous. She said:
“My Lord! How shall I have a son when no man has touched me?’ He said: “Even so; God creates what He will. When He decrees a thing, He says to it, ‘Be!’ and it is.” [3:42-47]

Muslims believe that Jesus was born immaculately, and through the same power which had brought Eve to life and Adam into being without a
father or a mother.

“Truly, the likeness of Jesus with God is as the likeness of Adam. He created him of dust, and then said to him, ‘Be!’ and he was.”
[3:59]

During his prophetic mission, Jesus performed many miracles. The Qur’an tells us that he said:

“I have come to you with a sign from your Lord: I make for you out of clay, as it were, the figure of a bird, and breathe into it and it becomes a bird by God’s leave. And I heal the blind, and the lepers,
and I raise the dead by God’s leave.” [3:49]

Muhammad and Jesus, as well as the other prophets, were sent to confirm the belief in one God. This is referred to in the Qur’an where
Jesus is reported as saying that he came:

“To attest the law which was before me, and to make lawful to you part of what was forbidden you; I have come to you with a sign from your Lord, so fear God and obey me.” [3:50]

Prophet Muhammad emphasized the importance of Jesus by saying:

“Whoever believes there is no god but Allah, alone without partner, that Muhammad is His messenger, that Jesus is a servant and messenger of God, His word breathed into Mary and a spirit emanating from Him, and that Paradise and Hell are true, shall be received by God into Heaven. [Bukhari]

More on introduction to islam

Knowledge,
Pillars of islam,
Prophet muhammed,
Peace,
Christianity and other religion,

All these and the previous post should be well understood before we go into facts, fouls and stories in islam. May almgihty Allah make it easy for us. AMEEN!

Jazakum lah kairan..

AISHA n JOSH ~ Episode 2

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episode 1

Soon as we started out, my exams was fast approaching, so was his. we made ourselves time table and read together, unlike every other duo, we were never distracted. In fact we dealt with every aspect of our lives like business partners, what helped us more was the fact that we were both very ambitious and competitive, we watched over each other’s shoulder and criticised our flaws, encouraged ourselves and believed in each other. This drive didn’t stop at books or work alone, our sex life was undeniably excellent, on bed, we were very competitive, always wanted the best of the moment, we loved sex, sometimes we had to measure who liked it most or less, most times he won but still as always he’ll encourage me to get better, i thought him so many things like cooking and shopping, he spoilt me silly and so did i.

I can’t believe i will admit this, but sex with Joshua was and is still the best of my life, he is very romantic, subtle and fierce. Josh, knows where every detail is, he knows what you want even before you want it, he’s capable of meeting all your sexual needs, from candle lights to chocolate droplets to ice cream sprays and all sort of things that adds flavour to your sex life, we were maniacs, did it everywhere and anywhere. I remember we once went to the state stadium and laid in the middle of the field just to get laid.. We were almost caught but that’s the fun of it.

We made every one jealous of our L♥√ع and showed it at every junction, did we fight? Yes! We fought almost every time like we had a referee and a score board, i was the rude, silly girl who believed she should have a say with her man. He was always calm with me and helped me with being a better person. We were ONE, we marked places were we had sex as an achievement just like we marked projects executed and successful 😀 the both of us were just having fun, i never asked questions about him having another girl, neither did he ask me but i was true to him and he was to me (at least i never heard or saw anything)

Differences like religion, believe, faith, home town, time of effectiveness, his L♥√ع for food and putting others before him started affecting us. He would work weekends after a long week in school studying and writing exams, i was beginning to get lonely and nagged all the time. Well, i missed him. He also had issues with me meeting up with business frontiers and Government parastatals for jobs and projects runs, he never actually trusted me, of course because i used him to dump my ex- i never trusted him either but this was never an issue because we both never thought of US in the future, but as time went we started getting serious, we had reasons to discuss OUR future and it always leaves us depressed, as i was still very young and would not quit my religion for any reason, even if he didn’t mind but a big barrier was with his evangelist parents, they even own a very popular church. They would crucify him (literary).

Joshua and I had resulted from careful sex to carefree sex( that you have with no protection) both of us are educated but ignorant. This was the only common thing we shared after 3months but like they say; Friend‘s with benefits never end well. I started to fall in love with Josh, i was clingy and always nagging. Became jealous and wanted to know his every move, he started trying to avoid me but i held on to him. He warned me of my recent moves but i reassured him i was in control.

Just before i go on, let me give a brief history:

See you next monday

Love, a mystery through the ages ~ JJ @omojuwa

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Morning blog ville, slept with L♥√ع in my heart and woke up feeling loved, and then @Omojuwa’s piece on L♥√ع just put a large smile in my heart, yes! The heart does smile….. Enjoy!

***************************************

As old as man, as mysterious as his thoughts. As soothing as the calm that comes with sharing it with the one your soul desires, like balm for every point of pain. Flip it and it becomes the source of many wars, the path to the underworld and the word that plays through the brain of many broken hearts who have found shelter in psychiatric homes. That same Love is the cord that joins many hearts together. Love has its many parts. While it is what keeps some hearts going, it is the reason some others don’t want to live anymore.

Often mistaken for a lot of other passions, including infatuation and even hatred, Love remains an enigma even in the age of incessant technological possibilities. I bet you’d wonder how Love could be mistaken for hatred. Have you ever wondered why two people who seemingly hated each other ended up having the best union? Sometimes Love mirages as hatred. You think you hate someone and you express it with so much vigour and passion, only for you to discover one or two things about the person and the passion takes a different hue. It expresses itself, as it always was in your heart even when you did not realise it. You discover you are in love even when it had always been there to be nurtured.

Of all that has been said and written about Love, few come as ironic as what I call the shadow of Love. We ignore those who desire us and desire those who ignore us. We love even more those who hurt us and are often bent on hurting those who love us. We run after those who’d run far away from us and run far away from those who run after us. We are desperate to have those that’d rather have other people, and are more desperate to have other people than have those that want us so much. Love plays around like a shadow that can be seen and even admired but never to be touched or even had. Most times we are in an endless cause of chasing shadows, thinking we are almost at the point of touching Love, but never to truly have it.

This brings about a chain of broken hearts and broken homes. We love today and tomorrow the love seemingly sags when we suddenly realise we love another. I may not know all about love but I know enough to conclude that there can be no love without sacrifice. You can’t claim to love someone until you can firmly conclude that you can and will sacrifice desires that contrast with your love for that whom you claim to love.

You will never have the most beautiful woman as wife, because some day beauty loses colour and soon fades, and soon you are back on the road chasing another woman. It often comes to me as strange, when men have beauty as top of their priority in choosing a wife. You desire the most beautiful woman, forgetting that the true beauty of a woman lies in her heart. She is not beautiful a woman if she does not possess a beautiful heart. Miss out on that and you miss out on everything. The beauty of the body soon fades, but that of the heart is immortal. It survives death because as the evil that men do lives after them, the good they showed leaves the world with them and also survives them.

It may come across as many things but despite its seeming mystery, Love is simple enough. It takes faith to Love. It takes faith to decide that, despite the glut of beauties in the world, once you decide for one, it will be that and that alone. If all that keeps you in love is the beauty you see, then in time the absence of it will keep you out of it.

Find a reason beyond what is seen, find the path to the heart of the one you love and discover the power of Love. If Love is not seen but felt, what makes you think what you see is what will keep your love going. Love may be a mystery, but if your heart of understanding is receptive to the truth, you will find that Love thrives on the mystery of Faith. What then is Faith? While you ponder on that, let me help your imagination by saying there would be no need for Faith in the midst of certainty. Faith exists because of uncertainty. Being certain of what is uncertain. This is the true essence of Faith, and it is where Love derives its essence, not on the certainty of a transient physical beauty that soon fades away.

I thank God for my physical beauty but I thank Him even more for the beauty of my heart. That is the essence of me and whoever discovers that discovers me. That is the path to demystifying the seeming Mystery of Love.

PS: Published in my Facebook Notes, May, 2010

Project I’M MADE – theres no stopping YOU

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5fingers 5courses 5weeks

5fingers 5courses 5weeks

Happy sunday y’all , what’s cracking? With me, i got so many good things happening to me, i can’t even count my blessings even though some really challenging things are attached i keep being positive :D.

The project which i talked about few weeks ago has kicked off and i thought to share with you all. There are some re arrangements and considerations, the project which is aimed at training, counselling and empowering of secondary school students and corps members in Lagos on skill acquisition and entrepreneurship. Whilst doing these, we aim at campaigning on child/youth right to solid and affordable education, security and good health care.

The various training will run for 5weeks in 5courses contrary to the previous post saying 15-20courses, we agreed that some of the courses are not visible and cannot be learnt in 5weeks or less due to some facts. The choosen courses are:
Hairstyling, baking, make up artistry, pasteris/chops and accessory making.

50students, from 5schools will be trained in 5courses for 5weeks with the help of 5 professionals in each course! Project I’M MADE is been approved and will start registrations of students by next week, venue for training and counselling will be communicated soon.

For sponsorship, partnering and questions please contact project Director Adebola Maryam F madeanswers@gmail.com or Ff @MADE_creations on twitter.

You can be a team member, talk about the project and be a success driver by helping develop *NG* through this project, you do not have to start big, talking and acting is a way of change! Change we all Nigerian Youth crave for.

If not NOW… When? If not YOU… Who else?

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who i am…

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Who i am..

Life is full of these twists and turns.

Life is a story that makes absolutely no sense but follows this path that makes us all feel secure enough to go on another day. I just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I have been reaching out to feel as many different things as I can through as many different outlets as I can. I am not looking for an answer. There is no answer. Life is about what we feel. We don’t always understand why we feel the way that we do and sometimes we hate the way that we are feeling but there are times when we feel this complete sense of euphoria. We have those small moments when everything seems to make complete and absolute sense.

There seems to be this order to life that so many people follow. We live a childhood and go to school, we go to college or get a job, we find “the one”, we get married, we have babies, we live happily ever after. I see bits and pieces of this picture. I have never been able to see any of these things clearly without feeling suffocated. I cannot equate love with settling down. I equate love to this amazing sense of desire. I picture so many scenarios in my head of what I truly believe love is. I think this scenario is my head is what makes me believe that most people that say they are in love really aren’t. This scenario is what makes me believe that most people are settling because they are afraid of being alone. I am afraid of being alone but I do not want to settle for the wrong reason. I do not want the house with the white picket fence. I don’t need the materialistic things to share with another person. In my vision I imagine sitting on a blanket on the beach watching the tide roll in together and sharing stories about our dreams, what makes us crazy, what makes us laugh, what makes us cry.

I picture endless moments together learning every moment and every aspect we can about each other. I see creating art together in different ways, whether it be by taking pictures of each other in the most random of times just to capture and hold onto that moment—to be able to revisit that feeling. When I think about love I feel it in every part of me. I am alone right now because of this vision I have. I want something that maybe is completely unobtainable. I don’t want to give up this vision though. One time I thought I felt what love was, at least parts of it. I felt love in a short time and I had doubts because everything in society told me that it is impossible to love someone right away. Is it? Love for everyone is so very different. I do not mean to devalue love by saying a lot of people settle…I am just going by what my internal feelings are…something I am unable to control.

I am in a calm place in my life right now but I still experience moments of madness in my mind. There is nothing about my thought process that will ever be simple. I don’t know why I am like this. On the outside most people wouldn’t know I am like this. My head sometimes is this never-ending series of questions and desires to walk different paths. I met this man once in the past that made me feel like my way of thinking was ok…it was better than ok. When you fall in love does everything all of a sudden fall into place and make sense or does everything become even more confusing?

With this blog entry there was absolutely no direction to be taken. I have meandered from one idea to the next and to the reader it may not make even a little bit of sense. I have those moments when I just need to spew anything out that I can because my feelings inside are so intense. I look at my life and I wonder where I have come from. I seem so different from my family members (I love them dearly). I cannot figure out where this natural curiosity and wonder about every little aspect of life came from. I must have learned something somewhere that got the ball (actually the boulder) rolling. On the outside I believe I appear to be pretty normal but on the inside sometimes I feel like I am so odd and so strange because I think about things that seem to really be of no concern to others. I chase after knowledge and information of things from the past to keep learning.

I cannot lie, I want this feeling back. I don’t need it back from this same person (I am not sure how I would even act if the opportunity arose). I just love that sense of security within yourself because of the presence of another. I love the feeling of hanging off of someone’s every word because they intrigue and they inspire you just by being themselves. I love to see someone experience weaknesses and have flaws because it makes them more real and it makes me love them even more. I can be by myself. I have made it this long and I have experienced a happiness that I know some people could only dream of but I want this feeling back. Things you experience alone may be wonderful but they are undoubtedly 100 times better when they are shared. In a way, love is about attraction but it is more (in my opinion) about understanding someone. Love is about having that uncontrollable urge to ask someone to tell you in great detail what the journey of their life has been like so you can build a story in your head. Love is doing the simplest of things but finding great joy in them because you are with this person that makes you feel alive…more than alive. I don’t want my path determined for me and when it has come to meeting people of the opposite sex and swimming in the dating pool, I feel like with so many everything would be mapped out. With so many there would be no curiosity, no intrigue, no wonder, no mystery.

I asked the question of who I am and I have given you sneak peeks. Being asked who you are is such an abstract question. I will not answer by telling my occupation or by describing my physical nature. Those are superficial things about me….those things give me no definition. I can answer this question but I admit it would be way more interesting to find out how others around me would answer the question. It would give me a look inside of them…how they view me. I am obviously the only person that will ever truly “know” me. I know that there is nothing that is ever permanent about me. I am constantly changing from one concept to the next to try everything I can out. I am a wanderer and an artist. I am a seeker of beauty in all of its forms. I am an embracer of words. My physical self is not who I am. My thoughts are not who I am because those exit just as quickly as they enter. I am this soul that feels every variety of emotion imaginable. I believe I have even experienced emotions and feelings that remain nameless. I struggle with the written word sometimes because what I feel is not able to be put into words…at least not in a manner that makes a lot of sense.

I hope I have not run anyone off with my craziness in this entry. I have felt kind of unbalanced (for lack of a better word) all day. I know that writing is what brings me back to my center…even if the words and the thoughts are all over the place. This entry is filled with madness and disorganization but that is me. I do not want to hide. I want to lay myself out there for everyone to see and hopefully more people will love me for that than not.

so…. WHO ARE YOU? ( you can email me)

lets just be fwends

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Can men and women be JUST friends?/Can men and women go back to being friends after dating/a relationship?

I just finished meditating. I meditate twice a day for 15 minutes each. I have made this part of my daily routine and have found the benefits of it to be amazing so far and I believe the more I practice the more benefits I will feel/see. I am rambling about this because I should be focused on my project but whenever I come out of meditation I always feel creative and inspired. The thoughts come rushing into my head.  This blog I believe becomes truer and truer day by day because I am able to open up more due to the lessening of stress I feel.

Anyhow, there wasn’t a significant point to that rambling except for my wanting to share. I believe feeling good can be infectious so I guess part of me wanted to put it out there. As far as the above question goes…hmmmmm…..well it is an age old one that is for sure. Can men and women be friends? Can men and women go back to being friends after dating/being in a relationship? Honestly, I really don’t know. I think most people would say yes but I am unsure.

In regards to men (guys) and women(gals) being just friends I do think it is possible. I also think though that a lot is dependent on the type of relationship the two people have. If a male and female spend a lot of time together, doing various things (watching games, going to bars, going to the beach, etc) I do believe at some point there is a solid chance that one will become attracted to the other. A part of me feels that we are built in a way that either draws us closer to someone of the opposite sex or pushes us further away (either because we aren’t attracted to them or because we are and we know it will never happen so we abandon the situation). There are very few guys in my life that I would consider close friends that at some point I did not feel an attraction to at some point. I have had a male roommate and I do look at him as a close friend  but when we first met and became roommates(at a conference) I admit that the thought did ponder my mind about a romantic or intimate relationship. I felt attracted to him but was unsure of what my feelings really were. I pushed the thought out of my head and I still have remained friends with him (the thought of being with him in any physical or romantic way now is not even a possibility) but at that time I realized I needed to keep my life separate in certain ways from his. I needed to focus more on me in order to not get all wrapped up in that kind of situations. So, yes, we are friends but there are boundaries I make sure to never cross. I guess what I am saying is that men and women can be friends but it usually goes along with more rules and regulations.

I can’t believe I am going to admit this (thank goodness I do not use names) but at one time, probably a year and a half back, I had a male friend that I would go to happy hour with and just chill with from time to time. It sounds kind of mean but he was kind of the guy I went to when nothing else was going on and I was itching to get out of the house. This guy is nice but we would not be compatible in the least. He is your stereotypical engineer nerd (yes he even says that about himself) and our personalities are soooooo extremely different. I am bubbly and silly and loud and he is more analytical and “know it all”. We are not a match even a little bit. Our personalities worked together in certain situations. One night we had a party and I admit that the alcohol was flowing. In a mere moment I found myself attracted to him. The thought of him being snuggled up to me in bed entered my mind. The next day I was in complete denial that I ever felt that. I kept telling myself that thought could not have possibly entered my mind. I know to this day I would never want to be with him but for a minute (or maybe for more than a minute and a few drinks) I felt it. I am telling you this because I believe at some point or another, if a man or a woman has a friend of the opposite sex there will come a time they will find themselves attracted to them( maybe that’s why my male friend’s girlfriends don’t like me- duh). I guess what matters the most is how that person reacts to that feeling. I believe 100% at some point or another my roommate considered me in some way or another. I am sure it was just a passing thought but I guarantee it was there. The good thing about us is that there is not a chance we would act on it because we have seen each other so much and know each other so well now that any attraction or romantic/physical possibilities has ceased. I feel like I keep contradicting my answer. See why I said I don’t know. :0)

What I do know (well what I believe, I can’t really say know) is that men and women being friends after dating/a relationship is very rare. The chances of a long-term successful friendship after being involved is slim to none(except they do not see). I believe that it is a form of regression if people try to be friends after being romantically involved. Obviously, if two people have been romantically involved then there is attraction there. Attraction doesn’t simply go away. If it does go away then I believe that there is a good chance you don’t even want to be around that person anymore. I think people need time to heal and explore themselves and potentially meet someone else when the time is right and maybe after enough time has passes then two people that have been romantically involved may be able to become friends again but I still have doubts about it.there was a time i tried bonding with my ex but Friendship was  not an option because i was too drawn to him romantically and physically and the idea of him being with another girl just tore me up. There was no way I could accept that. He said he believed he would seek me out after all was said and done with his breakup and who knows if that day will ever come but I realized that keeping him in my life right now was not going to be healthy for me…and most likely not for him either. I knew deep down that I would be constantly hoping that things would take a turn and he would realize that I was truly what he wanted and he would forget everything else and just dive in.

I finally stopped dreaming and realized I could not live like that. So, through my experiences, and in my opinion, I do not think it is healthy for two people to “try” and remain friends after a break up. I am not implying they should be arch enemies by any means but I do think that people need their space and time away from each other to regain their independence and their individuality. During those times is when you realize what is truly important to you and if a relationship ends like that then long-term was never meant to be. I may be a die-hard romantic and a dreamer but I truly believe that when it is right it is right…there won’t be a whole bunch of breaking up and getting back together, there won’t be the question of whether to date other people, there won’t be an issue of timing. When it is right, in my opinion, there are no questions and no doubts. A friendship later could be possible but I think initially is not the right time.

What do you think?

its been 3yrs Micheal!

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Music miss you Michael Joseph Jackson

Music miss you Michael Joseph Jackson

On the 25th of June 2009 Michael Joseph Jackson passed away. I remember the date clearly because i was on the sick bed, listening his songs and then i got a text from a friend “ur super music-man is dead! I felt a sense of loss because he created music to both critical and popular acclaim for most of his life. He was an enigma, a thing too incredible to be described on the pages of newspapers or magazines. Too few people can actually claim to understand Michael, but that’s part of what made him such a huge figure, almost a deity.
It’s easy to label people “the next…” but every so often there comes an artist so great, so different from the pack that it’s impossible to compare anyone fairly. Michael Jackson was that rare breed – a person so absorbed in music he failed in so many other ways – from paedophilia scandals to financial difficulties to extensive bleaching and reconstructive surgery to repair the damage, he was hounded by an all too eager press trying to find out all they could about the genius that was Michael Jackson.

Different people will remember him for different reasons, but the truth remains absolute – Michael Jackson was an incredible singer, songwriter and dancer. His songs have inspired other acts to take up music, and even today dancers are compared to him. The Ushers, Justin Timberlakes, Chris Browns and now Justin Bieber of this world all owe a huge debt of gratitude to Michael for giving them a template to base their careers on.
But today I’d like to focus on the music. The first three CDs I ever bought were Michael’s – Thriller, Bad and Dangerous. For that reason most of my favourite MJ songs are from that era (1984-1992) when i only 2.  Well, most people’s favourite MJ songs are from that era anyway. I say “most of my…” because it’s almost impossible for me to pick out one favourite MJ tune. When I’m heartbroken there’s She’s out Of My Life. When I’m reflective there’s Stranger in Moscow. When I’m angry there’s Give in to Me and Dirty Diana. When I’m happy there’s… erm… wait a minute. Now that I think about it MJs music wasn’t really happy after he grew up. Yes there is Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough, but for the most part there was a sadness that pervaded Michael’s music, a melancholy that crept into almost every track made after the Off The Wall album was released.
When it comes down to it there’s a track for every mood. There are tracks that make you get up outta your seat and dance, tracks that make you think, tracks to make babies to, tracks to scream to, tracks to be all self-righteously pissed off to, and tracks to just savour in any way you can.
Michael often said his favourite song was Smile, a song he eventually recorded for his 2005 HIStory  album. It quickly became my favourite song. It was written by Charlie Chaplin – like Michael a troubled, misunderstood genius. It’s one of those songs that you can sing when you’re sad to raise your mood, and it’s just as good when you’re happy, to make you think about those who aren’t smiling – who don’t have as much of a reason as you to be happy.
This brings me to the real reason why I wrote this. I’d like to know your thoughts on the man – What do you remember Michael Jackson for?

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Father, Dadddy or Both?

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Good morning Blog-ville, how was the weekend?

I really should have posted this yesterday but i got so occupied, am so sorry.

Yesterday, June 17th,2012 was father’s day; HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.

It was a calling for me and many others as i noticed through their updates, tweets, Facebook messages and numerous broadcasts, i almost called my father or at least text him but then my ego or lets say pride wont let me, don’t blame me i learnt that from him. i love my father, no doubt, i miss him so much but not enough to let go of my ego, he though me that too. (karma.. lol)

Back to the topic, father-daddy-both; which are you? which do you have? which will you be? which will you have?

A father: is defined as the male parent or individual progenitor of human offspring

To father: a verb is to procreate or to sire a child from which also derives the gerund fathering.

Traditionally, fathers act in a protective, supportive and responsible way towards their children. Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by their doing so. Active father figures may play a role in reducing behavior and psychological problems in young men and women. An increased amount of father–child involvement may help increase a child’s social stability, educational achievement, and their potential to have a solid marriage as an adult.

The above concluding that a father’s role is very important in a child’s life.

prayers for those who lost theirs and kudos to those who took their place.

Daddy is an affectionate, familiar term, form of direct address, or nickname for a father.

DADDY IS THE RESPONSIBLE, PROTECTIVE AND SUPPORTIVE ROLE OF A FATHER

This is where i am going, being a father doesn’t necessarily mean your are a daddy and vice vars a, usually there’s a misconception but truly a daddy is more daring, desiring and chilling than a father, a father sounds and is more forceful, like the only reason is to bring you to the world, of course anyone can be a father (if fertile or potent) but not everyone is or will be a daddy (be it fertile or potent) fatherhood entails the role of daddy-hood but most men have lost this in the trance of worldly views and ego.

Any man can be a father, but it takes a special mind to be a daddy- m’ade

A lot of fathers have become irresponsible and nonchalant, usually from hate of mother or just the natural sense of not caring, leaving their roles for another man or mostly the woman to handle forgetting the above said of how a child’s life is dependent on how he/she is being raised and believing that no matter what the child would home to them, contrary to this assumptions or believe many of them are at the loosing end, leaving child to waste away or having them struggle, molested by the new father or even being robed.

A father doesn’t always have to be there as we have late-father, absent-father, sperm donor, baby-daddy as the case maybe. A father’s love should be genuine and always forthcoming, there should be full sense of responsibility and remorse when he cant meet up, a father should be aware and current of the child’s situation. All these are and more are what qualifies him as a daddy.

A good father would not manage a company and let it crumble or govern a state with a heartless mind, let alone president a black country with black days and night, watch the video Michelle Obama made for Obama yesterday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz28tO2IIeM

All these starts from now, all the uncaring, nonchalant and heart act of treating people, handling situations and answering questions leads to the father in you, the father you will be and the father you possess. This is not one sided, this goes to both male and female.

You cannot and shouldn’t hate a child because of the mother, don’t marry someone you don’t want to see a child in, do not bring to this cruel world a child you will not be responsible for, because it is even a sin to be irresponsible, whatever becomes of your child, good or bad, you shall be accountable for by the almighty.

when a father gives to his son, both laugh, when a son to his father, both cry – William Shakespeare

It is a wise father who knows his child.  But maybe it’s a very wise child who takes time to know his father – Anonymous

A wise son maketh a glad father- Proverbs 10:1

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence -Budington Kelland

The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7 

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.  ~Author Unknown

These are the Muslim men I want my son to grow up to be like, and for your sons to grow up to be like — full of love, wit, compassion and generosity, with a deep respect for women, and a commitment to serving God by serving humanity.

As a Muslim father, I must shoulder an enormous responsibility, both fiscal and religious, and this responsibility is first encountered before I even have any children at all.-Hesham A. Hassaballa

Failing to provide for the children after divorce will not only get a Muslim father in trouble with the authorities, but he will also get into very big trouble with God Almighty.Hesham A. Hassaballa

lastly:
“All of you are shepherds, and you are all responsible for your flocks. The father in his home is a shepherd, and he is responsible for his flock…” The word in Arabic for “responsible” is mas’ul. This word also means “that about which one will be asked.” Thus, the tradition can also be translated as, “The father in his home is a shepherd, and he will be asked by God about his flock.”

THE WAKE UP CALL

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Good morning, at least there is something good about this morning, even though it might not be the same in another region but whichever situation we are, we should be grateful.

Let’s re-wind to about 40hours ago….

I was getting set with my friends and a cousin of them who just got in from the UK few days back, the aim was to show her the fun side of Nigeria, we were all looking fly and sexy. The gals in colorful dresses and the guy looking cool, ready to go storm the beach and have maximum fun. We were about leaving when i decided to update my status as usual, ..beach things.. Only for me to see about two updates saying there was a plane crash; to be sincere i wasn’t moved but then i decided to check twitter and that was all over my TL, I quickly asked a couple of people i know would have facts and they confirmed. I told the people around me in the house and they were so engrossed in the on-going match and no one paid attention.

We proceeded anyway, i couldn’t explain what was going through my mind. I was confused, sad, angered, disappointed, everything else but not excited. On the 3rd of June, 2012 a DANA AIR plane crashed into the streets of Iju-Ishaja at about 2pm with 153passagengers and 9crew members on board all these numbers are nothing compared to the numbers of lives and property lost in the past months due to terrorist attacks or accidents which all falls back to the Government as people already started blaming on twitter and every other social network.

At 4:50pm when i left the house, no local Television station was showing it, no media house was talking, no ambulance, no government parastatals at the scene, no help, nothing! And we hear rage and rants everywhere. I got to Elegushi beach and i kept wondering what if that plane crashed over my house, what if my friends are on that plane, what if what if, but my questions were never why.

I have grown to never question God for his actions, because he his merciful and all knowing, he will warn us and pet us. I am no better than the crashed, neither are you. But my anger is, why would this happen in this country, i am not wishing another country bad, my anger is why would a 29years old plane be allowed to fly? Why would there be houses and industries just around an airport, i might have not flown to many countries but research shows that many other countries have their airports very far away from town. Let’s agree the passengers boarded their coffin but are the ground men too living on coffins, am i walking on a ground coffin? Should i not sleep in peace because i live near the airport? Should i not transact businesses because my government is incapable? Should i live everyday as my last because by government is incompetent or because i fear God?

It has come to my notice on several occasions that life goes on after we are gone, no matter your status or figure, not minding what you have or have done, do people even have heart anymore, have we lived in a dark country with our black skin so much our souls are becoming dark, do we not cry anymore, no we not THINK anymore? Do we forget that DEATH is eminent and do we forget that there is an ETERNAL LIFE after DEATH where will would all answer to our DEEDS, this is not a matter of religion but a matter of compassion. Have you thought that your so-called cherish family could perish in a day or that one step you take today could be your last.

Let’s forget DEATH for a moment, since that’s certain, are we not ashamed anymore, have we not courtesy or fear, i was telling someone i felt bad because i had a dream δ day before about a plane crash but though i was hallucinating due to the Allied air that crashed in Ghana, this was the only reason my friend didn’t travel to Lagos that day(at least so he said) but whichever way, why would someone laugh at such things, i am not saying weep or feel sorry for me but do you ever remorse, another friend sent a funny broadcast as to

“U travel by road, A tanker will catch fire..by air, plane crashes..u sit in ur house,the plane will come and meet u, u go to church boko haram will attack u,u go by sea,militants will attack,u finally run to ur village,u r kidnapped..! No safe place in naija. Cotonue I see u=))”   just in-between the whole crisis as much has i tried to see sense in it, i couldn’t because of the last line and the sarcastic laugh symbol.

This is sad, we keep saying we are the leaders of tomorrow and we are not acting like one, you a graduate and cannot think of a good life for yourself, if your life ends, what the use of all the life you wasted? he that is DEAD is BETTER than he that is BORN. But BETTER than BOTH of them is he that NEVER EXISTED. We keep saying life is unfair but the fact that every human has to share the grace and pains of life is what defines the fairness of life.

What did the people at the scene do aside taking pictures, well at least they tried, but what about the fools that went there only to take pictures with the debris as background, what of those that took there time to compose unnecessary funny message just 24hours after the crash saying we need a little laugh. My dear brothers and sisters, what little laugh do we need?, when we do not have the basic amenities to a good life, when bombs from BOKO HARAM has become the norms to a particular elite, of what difference do the plane crash victims have to the past Bomb blast victims or is it that death now has class? If the FG had to declare 3days mourning after every incident/accident, won’t we be mourning every week? THINK! Its time to think, we shouldn’t be all about profits and fame keyword being ALL ABOUT we live life to survive and on this universe, its the survival of the fittest, nobody chose that.

Its a shame that what our fore fathers have worked for is beginning to collapse right before our eyes but what are we youths doing ? As we pray for our fore-fathers will our generation pray for us, we all updated our status and say #pray4Nigeria, how many of you actually did? . We all blame Jonathan and the likes, i am not sorry to say this is how they started, as bad sons and daughters, greedy friends and colleagues,incompetent class reps and SUGs, and the likes of us who know the right thing to do but hide in our abode, who keep quiet when we see bad planes and cars, who send worthless BCs but never take actions, who entered DANA Air to Uyo, Abuja, Lagos, Port Harcourt and saw or noticed something was wrong but didn’t deem it fit to send that broadcast then, you should THINK!

Ogundamisi said, he once sat in a plane with holes but never talked and prayed to grace and mercies of God just for safe landing, well he landed safe and i hope that plane never crash till they all banned. This is not a post to proffer solutions but to tell you that, weather you like it or not, this incidents are wake up calls; if not how come different people from at least every arms of the government ranging from, NUC, CBN, Ministries, Army, Military, NNPC, political parties and several business holders, people with different religions and faith, infants, married, just married, engaged, Ini the only child of her Old parent, Ibrahim the only hope of his father, the Chinese, Raju whose first trip to Nigeria brought his families and company sorrow. Please, let’s stop saying, let’s start acting! Nigerians are virus, so what we say or do spread fast, if you know or sense anything, just say. No government is ready to take care of us, its high time we joined hands together and save ourselves.

let it linger in the mind of those contractors, engineers, aviation managers, NCAA, MINISTRY OF AVIATION, DANA officials and ,many others involved that they have made a nation weep and they have dropped several heroes and hopes, let them know we might not know them by face but they will not rest or no peace for as long as the memory of June 3rd 2012 remains.

May God rest the dead, punish the cause, pray for Nigeria, and console their Families. AMEN!!

Gracias.

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