the change i want…

2 Comments


Sometimes I just want to slow down. I am at a stage in my life where I truly have acceptance and love for the person that I am. It has taken me a LONG time to get here but now that I am here I am never leaving i can only get better. I embrace change…I actually love change because it allows you to step outside of your comfort zone and really grow. I believe change is necessary in order for people to keep learning and thriving.

When it comes to change I believe we should hold onto our morals and values and all of those things that make us who we are. I have been raised to be polite and have grown to be compassionate and those are two things I will never ever change about myself. Change runs along the lines of conquering fears and wanting to practice different lifestyles. Since I was little I have been overcome with nervousness.  A lot of this nervousness comes from always pushing myself 25 steps ahead. The thing I want to and will change about myself is giving myself the clearance to just slow down. I am not on the go 24 hours a day 7 days a week but sometimes my mind is. I have this creativity that surges through my body and I get bazillions of ideas that come to me. I want to do this and I want to do that and start this project or start that project or go here or go there. Creativity is a beautiful thing but it must be something that comes naturally…it should never be forced. I am the type of person that wants to get everything done quickly. I don’t know why I am that way. Procrastination has never been a concept in my life…if anything I would get projects done far in advance. The problem though is that I have not let my creative juices flow naturally…and when I don’t allow myself that then my work suffers. I live my life as if everything is on a timeline and I am slowly started to accept that not EVERYTHING needs to be on a timeline. Even with this blog I sometimes catch myself thinking that I have to get it posted by a certain time everyday…I literally will have a whole conversation in my head in which I will say, “Well most people will log into Facebook at some point mid-afternoon and people are used to you posting at that time already. Plus you will either be working at night or going to the gym after work and you will need to go home and shower and by the time you are done that I am sure you won’t want to write anything and if you don’t write anything then your blog won’t be what you said it was going to be.

I have been getting better with this, I have always been a results driven person. I was always looking for an end-point. What I am focusing on changing is no longer looking for the end point (i.e. finding my happiness, looking for love, etc.) but instead enjoying the journey because the journey is the actual answer. When we are accustomed to being a certain way (from childhood) it is next to impossible to just flip a switch and change everything in one day. Change is a process and it is something that you must really want. I am going to be a year older in few days and am proud to say I have found my happiness because I am slowly stopping the search for answers in everything. Not everything in life needs and answer. I do not need to know why everyone else do the things they do. The change I want to make is in my perception so I am able to look at life from a different angle. Instead of questioning people’s actions I want to accept them and work with their differences. I cannot force others to change in order to make them fit my needs and I would not want someone to do that to me. It may drive me nuts sometimes when I encounter people that are completely different from myself and do things in a manner in which I believe may be wrong but I am choosing to start seeing these things as opportunities to learn more about myself and more about the diversity of the world.

A lot of people in the world do not accept or embrace change. We, as people, tend to get used to certain patterns and become monotonous because we are comfortable being a certain way. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. What is most important is that people are living their lives in happiness. I believe that if a person questions their happiness then that might be a sign that there is a need for change. Change is not evil. Change is not something that anyone should force you into. Change could be something miniscule or something gigantic. We all want to change something about ourselves. I would find it hard to believe that there is one person on this planet that would not want to change one thing about themselves…whether it be physical, mental, emotional, educational, etc. Yes, I think it is VITAL to embrace who we are…”flaws” and all.

I am just curious to see what people would say if they were asked what they would change about themselves and why they want to change those things. :0)

 

Advertisements

What is happiness?

14 Comments


I am currently in the sky (yes I love this place) and I just had the most delicious cake meal and I am now starting on different projects. An older couple (probably early 70’s) is sitting in comfy chairs across from me. and yes being in love doesn’t mean you are happy or vice versa. The woman is doing stuff on her Ipad and the man is flipping through a magazine. They have been chatting back and forth about random things, travel plans, etc. What I noticed was that even during the times they weren’t talking the man had his arm stretched to grasp onto his wife’s hand and was rubbing the inside of her palm with his thumb. I have stated before my take on love and I really don’t think that many people get to experience what true love is. I get a vibe though that this couple is experiencing love-not experienced but experiencing. They seem to be the best of friends and just their actions show such an ease with each other. I know that I don’t know anything about their lives but from this small glance it would appear that they have achieved happiness in their lives. They are enjoying their journey and they are lucky to have found a companion to share the journey with.

I started to ponder the thought, concept, idea and feeling of happiness in this moment. Happiness is one of those words that does not have a set definition. Webster’s dictionary may disagree but I am going to stick to what I believe. Happiness is a feeling. It is a feeling that you can have in a mere moment or you can hold onto for hours and days and weeks and years. Happiness is something you choose. I think about my happiness. The last guy I dated and I were laying in my bed one night and we were just talking about all kinds of things. We started discussing happiness and he told me he didn’t want me to tell him that he made me happy. I was shocked and so confused. What he meant was…he wanted me to embrace my own happiness and realize that it is all mine. No one else can make you happy. You make yourself happy through your choices and your journey. I wanted to tell him a million times that he made me happy but then I realized that I needed to rephrase it. I would tell him that being with him made me feel happy. since having someone makes me happy. It may seem like an odd concept to some but it makes perfect sense to me because in truth I own my happiness completely because being happy is my choice., no one else’s.

I have decided to start a personal list of those things that make me feel happiness. The list could be endless but I will spare my readers too many words. I want to do this so people are able to reflect on their own lives and think about what makes them happy. I want people to think that happiness really is a choice. Even in troubling times you are able to make yourself happy if that is what you really want. You can allow yourself to see the silver lining even if it seems to be hidden behind dark, black clouds. There is a lot of chaos and heartbreak that surrounds us in the world and I think that we need these things to think about sometimes. I try to keep an upbeat tone in my writings as much as I can so people are able to (hopefully) let their problems go for even a moment and reflect on their lives and see what they are blessed with. I, sometimes, take my life for granted and I need time to ground myself and think about what makes me happy and what I am thankful for. Happiness surrounds me every day.

Happiness is:

1) Watching a sitcom and laughing until you have tears on your face

2) Watching an old couple (very obviously) in love

3) Having an amazing conversation with a friend-feeling like this conversation has changed you and has made you see and understand the other person better.

4) Watching the curiosity and wonder in a child’s face.

5) A true and genuine hug from someone you really care about.

6) having cold drink after a long walk in the sun

7) A delicious hot coffee on a cold day.

8) The most delicious piece of  cake.

9) Having friends in your life that you can have serious moments with but can also laugh for hours with (I like to call this achieving hanger face-you can’t stop smiling and it looks like you have a hanger stuck in your mouth).

10) Seeing/Learning a different perspective

11) Loving yourself unconditionally.

12) Receiving an unexpected compliment that turns your whole day around.

13) People complimenting you efforts

14) Accomplishing a goal that you thought was impossible.

15) Meeting someone new that you immediately feel comfortable with and know you want to spend more time with.

16) Embracing the things you love and running with them-mine would be writing and creating.

17) Paying a complete stranger a compliment because you want others to feel good.

18) Trying something completely new and different-Going outside of your comfort zone. mine would be staying out late

19) Hanging with friends/family beside a river

20) Not having to rely on money-Finding plenty of things to do on a very limited budget and still have a blast.

21) Art/photography that moves you.

22) Listening to your favorite song/a song that you would swear was written for or about you.

23) Learning about something new that you never thought would interest you and actually really enjoying it.

24) Offering someone help when they need it.  the other i helped put a party together and i found happiness making others happy. Acts of kindness and paying it forward can go a really long way.

25) Have a child run and jump into your arms because they are so excited to see you.

26) collecting your salary and not having to pay any debt or bills.

27) is tweeting non- stop

28) being stucked with your blackberry because pings are coming from almost all your contacts

29) going to bed with anticipation of seeing someone special

30) is getting a ring on that tiny finger in a way you never imagined

For my readers, I know I am like a broken record, but these are the moments to cherish. Life can sometimes get us so caught up that we forget what is truly important. I ask of you to take a moment to look at what you have done lately. Have you helped someone? Have you paid someone an unexpected, genuine compliment? Have you lent your ear because you know someone needed it? I truly believe when you do these things that you will understand what true happiness is. Happiness is something we feel within but it comes from all of the things outside of us. Happiness can be found around every corner and one tiny thing can bring you an abundance of happiness. I hope you take the time to find your own happiness as well as become a part of helping others find theirs.

what really makes you this happy?