I had been out for 3hours, even my mom feared for my life, she was been assured of my well being, i was just short on blood and lack of energy. Waking up at about 10pm the ward was empty, My mum was still beside me, holding him so close. He was small, red and dark headed. I rolled over to get comfort, my mum called on the nurses, they checked on me and confirmed i was fine. They welcomed me to life with smiles and teases of how lazy i was, i wasn’t exactly eager to hold him but i always loved miracles, he his my miracle.
Mum handed him over, he was fragile and tiny, i was afraid i would crush him. Breast milk was all over me, immediately i held him close he cried, he’δ not had milk for last few hours. I didn’t know what to do, even i had watched women feed their babies it didn’t occur to me what next to do. He was screaming so loud, i started shedding tears, i was afraid i’ll never be up to the task, i will never be able to make him smile, i will never be the right mother for him and i was too afraid to start the new life right on my alms. I was consoled and encouraged by everyone around. My mum helped me raise him up to a more comfortable position he sucked like he has been practising from the womb. My breasts ached so much, i couldn’t even retrieve them from his warm lips. I watched and caressed him till he slept off.
The next day didn’t start easy, had to mother-routines, these things don’t just come like the usual house chores but its joyful because every seconds reminds you of how miraculous your life is. On the 17th of September my life took a new turn. I felt true Joy for once in my life, i was ready to makeup for all the L♥√ع i didn’t show him from the day i found out he was changing my whole world. But sincerely, my mum was most excited. I took the opportunity to ask her if she had heard from Aman, she nodded showing me my phone. Aman had been calling and sending me message. He even sent me a picture of my red baby with a caption “like papa(me)”. Seeing that brought a big grin to my face. I was glad someone outside my family had my back. Even before i dropped the phone, he called again, we spoke non-stop until “red baby” interrupted.
Two days passed, i was discharged from the hospital, as much as my mum would have loved to celebrate, circumstances won’t allow. Getting back home was welcoming and relaxing. Aman was waiting with lots of gifts and smiles. I was too shy to even look up to him, he was eager to receive red baby from my mum. After settling and resting, i remembered the last thing i saw immediately after my delivery, I asked my mum about it. She insisted it was Aman and his friend.
Confirming it wasn’t Aman’s friend brought much more concern to me than my mum. Things had settled and red baby was named “Aahil Basim” smiling prince, Basim was my Father’s name and Aahil-prince was the next thing i could think of. I loved him more and more by the day. Aman stood by me. He would check on us every night. He his truly a blessed man. Sometime in December he brought his Grandma to see us. My son! (Yes, he’s mine and mine alone) keeps growing bigger and healthier. It took no re consideration to cancel furthering my education in Cyprus, i just couldn’t imagine leaving Aahil, i won’t even concentrate, my whole world now revolves around him.
It was new year’s eve and as expected, you get many calls, texts and emails. I usually don’t pay attention to most of them, Aahil is too troublesome to even let me concentrate on social media. But this particular email struck me. It was from Josh. I really wish to copy and paste his message here but i had promised not to expose anymore personal messages.
His last words were ” a known devil is better than an unknown angel”. I obviously remember every bit i had with him, his mother’s words to mine. All the pain, the scars and the regrets. Aman has been there for me, he’s not asked me for anything, he’s the man my son knows. He’s hard working and God fearing. He is everything you want in a being not just a man. Even though he hasn’t asked, i know he’s only giving me time to heal. This i know because of how many times we’ve had to talk about us. He knows everyone around me and I’m sure if he had more friends and family to show i would have known them. How can Josh just show up because he thinks he can, how???

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