Months after leaving the hospital, trying to reach Josh with no success my mum went to his mother’s house, the response was inhuman as usual, I’ve never known anything good of this woman, i understand she’s being protective of her son but I’ve known her to be reckless, sad and wicked. Even though i warned my mum not to go all the way, we just had to try our luck.
The decision to keep the child wasn’t just my decision or my mum’s, Dr Olu also advised it, he had said trying to get rid of it wasn’t only sinful but dangerous considering the state of my health. I have been living at my aunt’s place growing lean and sick by the day, as much as i tried to console myself i couldn’t but find myself in tears day in day out.
Days passed, months flew, the arrival of my wonder child was fast approaching, mother left all her work in kogi, took the last 6weeks off to stay with me at Aunty’s house since her husband was out of the country. Together we went to Ibadan to get a referral letter and also to see my therapist, i was due in 5weeks but it looked like i was going drop the baggage in no time. Just before i said my goodbyes to Dr Olu and smiling at his promise to see me immediately i deliver. I gazed towards the corridor. I saw Aman and his grandmother, i tried to rush back into the doctor’s office but my mum was already behind me. I was shy and ashamed.
“Hi Aisha, how have you been? I always ask of you from Dr olu, do you remember me?”. “Of course i do, Aman right?” Yes, your are right. I have missed your innocent face. Not so innocent as you can see, showing him my big belly. Oh my God! You are almost popping, do you need me to carry you? He said as he laughed. Some how i genuinely smiled back “I’m perfect, i carried myself all the way from lagos” lagos?! Why come here for clinic all the way from Lagos? No i didn’t come for clinic, i came for a letter and also for my finally session. I’m good to go, not coming here except necessary.
Oh, so i won’t see you here again? That’s not nice acceptable. He smiled looking at my mum. Dear ma, can i marry your daughter? So i can always see her. She just giggled and said; as you can see, she’s more than married so just don’t waste your time. We all walked towards the car saying goodbyes, i knew he was the only friend i had made in 8months and i wanted to keep in touch, i gave him my number and email address, he promised to always check me whenever he is in Lagos.
The referral letter was for deferring my admission in cyprus, i had gotten the admission letter one month earlier, i wasn’t exactly happy but my mum was, she said having my child wouldn’t stop me from being who i want to be and that i would leave my son with her when I’m strong enough to travel. I don’t even know if its proper or if i would care. I do not in any way feel anything for this child i carry, i always imagined it come to pass (the love of a mother) but now its here, i can’t feel it. I have tried to, i have read a lot of books and my therapist had tried, my last session was full of pretence and promising words. I hope soon, when i have him, i can get hold of the L♥√ع and make it happen. If its not too late.
Aman has been a great caller and now i have something doing on social networks because we chat all the time. He would always pester me for my due date, teasing that he wants to be there for me and how much he cares about me. He obviously asked about the father but i didn’t think he had the right to know. I just wanted to keep my story to myself and the few people that knew. The only thing is how much he makes me laugh and i know secretly my mum appreciates him, because when I’m on the computer chatting and laughing out loud, she automatically knows its him.
On the 17th of september 2010 something life changing happened to me..

Before you know please go to http://www.nigerianblogawards.com/register.php nominate[www.madekreations.wordpress.com]for Best book,poetry or writing blog(2), personal(17), best topical(24) and best new(14) blog:)

kindly comment and share, thanks

Advertisements