The memories of how my father died played in my mind. It’s been 18years since the tragic accident happened and ever since, my mum and I never talked about it because none of us could understand why. I was just five years old but it was too dark an event not to remember.
My father was the only son of his parents just like my mum. They both met in college. After about 2years together, my mum got pregnant and they decided to keep it because both parents wanted more kids since they couldn’t conceive. A few months later, my maternal and paternal grandparents started having issues as my maternal’s blamed my father for hindering my mum’s career. My father didn’t agree to this. This constant disagreements threw my mum out of my grandparent’s house since my father didn’t have an apartment of his own. According to my mum, my father would come see her twice a day. He would rock me in his arms and even make sure I’m asleep at night before he leaves.
Katsina isn’t exactly big, but my father rode town to town daily just to see my innocent face. Finally, he got a good job in my mother’s hometown and rented an apartment. We lived and grew in it together till that dark night. We had no power in the area, I can remember vividly even though I was only five. We had used a broken lantern to light the house and had all slept off. I have no idea how the fire started but that’s how everything we had went down. My father saved me but had several burns and continual convulsion. The doctors said his lungs were damaged and even though his parents had a lot of money, it wasn’t enough at the time death came knocking. Abu Abubakar, my father, was 29 years old when he died in the state hospital. He died so I could live. Will I loose my mum too?
Dr Olu walked towards me and placed his hands on my shoulder. I shivered and cried. With eyes filled with tears, I looked into his eyes and asked with fear “please, where is my mother”?? They all chorused, “she went to get something”! It seemed like a planned response. I scream and fell to the ground. I must have fainted, because by the time I woke up, I had a blurred vision and severe headache. I could feel the heat from my body. My mother was there, she wore her white Jalabiyah, holding my feet and caressing them. I thought I had died too until I heard another voice. It was my aunt’s. She called on a nurse that I was awake. Then I wondered and then realised I was actually awake. “Mum, what happened”? I asked with anxiety. She responded “nothing, I only went to get you a small bag to put your purse”. She further asked “what happened my daughter? Are you ready to go home? Or don’t you want to go to Aunty Sidi’s place? All the questions, All her fears and worries, I just hugged her and smiled. I replied “nothing, I was just scared, I thought I had lost you. Please don’t ever leave me mum”.

Some doctors really need to learn how to give news, good or bad. I could have died or lost my mind, the thought of bearing that pain could have dropped my heart dead. The nurse had come back into the room with Dr Olu. He said jokingly, that I was full of drama and fear and that I needed to overcome my fear to avoid high blood pressure. He also pleaded with me not to hurt myself or my mum or even my offsprings. OFFSPRINGS??? I laughed out loud and couldn’t stop. I don’t intend getting married soon and even if I do, because of my mum, it won’t be anytime soon. He sat beside me and told me not to panic.

Dr Olu: Aisha, you know bad things happen to people for reasons only best known to God

Aisha: Yes, I do

Dr Olu: You have passed the test of time and fate, no one can hurt you again

Aisha: Oh yes, I believe insha Allah

Dr Olu: Good, so whatever happens next is God’s will right?

Aisha: Yes doctor 🙂

Dr Olu: Earlier today we were trying to tell you something but your fears made you believe it was because you lost your mum.

Aisha: Dr, I’m sorry, you all scared me

Dr Olu: I’m sorry about that

Aisha: No problem, I just want to go home. I’m feeling better

Dr Olu: Yes you will, but promise
me you won’t be afraid or worried

Aisha: I promise

Dr Olu: Thank you. We have checked all your vitals and they are in good shape. However, the STI is suppressed, you need to complete the doses and come back for check up or go to the referred hospital in lagos. We also did some very important tests for people in your condition and we are sorry to tell you that you are PREGNANT!

Aisha: What?!!! How is that possible??

Dr Olu: We are yet to find out but I’m hoping it’s your boyfriend

Shame and tears rolled down my eyes as I felt I had let my mum down AGAIN. She held me close and said the sweetest things to me. I am finished. Why are all these things happening to me? Why would fate choose this for me? Why? Why??

Then I remembered what I’ve tried so hard to forget, I was raped by four men. Joshua inclusive. Who is the father?????

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