Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?
I have been asked this question over and over again and every time the answer changes. The answer changes because I am always changing. Where you want to be in your life and where you think you will actually be are 2 very different things. As children we all wanted to be rich and famous and well-known (well most of us-maybe not all). But realistically we knew this was not going to be the case.
I can honestly say I never had a clear picture of what I thought my life would be like at this point.
I am the type of person that wants to learn and experience so much that I am unable to think of a life only one certain way. It would actually be almost impossible to picture my life at a future time. I will always have goals and dreams and I do hope some of these come into fruition but I don’t rely on these things to shape my life to define me.
I believe I am undefinable. I would have never guessed that I would be working in an IT firm or even be a fashion designer or at most surprising be a writer. I want to pursue a degree in human resource management or project management, I will eat my words with saying this and probably catch a lot of hell, but I am unsure of exactly how I want to use this degree and i definitely will go to fashion school. When I first started with this it was never my intention to make a name out of this but over the past year I have dove a lot into art and even learning how to sew and more on design techniques. people recommend, request and call me for different projects i don’t even have any idea about, its so sweet to know that few people believe in me and that as earlier planned am a role model to a few and still in-charge of my little tittle “FIRST CHILD”
OK, now back to the topic at hand…Am I where I thought I would be at this point in my life? As stated, I never saw my life in a certain way. if going by my initial plan, i should still be in school studying medicine, but going by the later plan, well what can i say Alhamdulilah. The only thing that is most important in my life (and I hope it is in everyone else’s – even through the hard times) is happiness. The thing about that though that I needed to change was realizing that happiness is a journey and not a destination. I still have to remind myself of that all of the time because I am always looking for an end…and while looking for that end I am missing the incredible journey I am on in this very moment. It has taken me a really long time to get to this point.
I am at a crucial point in my life where things are starting to make sense and I am feeling more in tune with who I am than I ever have. I still have a hard time accepting things and I do not always stand up for myself and I dislike confrontation in any form but I am learning. I am accepting what is right now. I am learning that I am beyond lucky for the things that I have in my life. I go through phases of loneliness and anxiety but I never stop forgetting that they are only moments and the world is too big of a place to get stuck in one small rut. I am slowly starting to talk more about who I really am and face fears that I had been ignoring for a long time. I am bringing what is on the inside out and the journey is absolutely breathtaking.
So i am not there yet, a lot of things have gone out of place, a lot in place and a lot too arranged am over whelmed but i am grateful and happy to be where i am because it is so promising and with you all by my side encouraging me.. i will get there!
ARE YOU THERE YET? and if not, where would you be in 5years?
Busari Omotolani zuleehah
Jun 12, 2012 @ 09:58:00
Nice write up ma love. I fink i’m at a stage where i’m tryna re define masef too, cos sincerely, i’m confused!
M'ADE
Jun 12, 2012 @ 10:02:05
well, its never to late to re define, the fact that you know have to redefine is a big step on its own, so stop procrastinating and get things done NOW. TIME waits for no one.
thanks, pls share
Bhummy
Jun 12, 2012 @ 22:22:59
Good questn… I know whr I wanna b in d next few years but I sometyms get so preoccupied wit acheivn dat goal dat I fail 2 enjoy d simple moments and pleasures am surroundd wit… At tyms, d goal seems so big dat I begin 2 harbour doubts bout my ability 2 acheive it.. Nway, I agree wif wot u said bout happiness being very important and a good questn 2 ask ursef daily can b “Am I HAPPY wit my present state”.. *just saying*.. Cheers..***