Do you think you are mentally/emotionally healthy?
This was a question someone asked me because i frequently changed my updates and display pictures.

By psychologists and probably humankind definitions the answer would probably be NO. By my own standards, and being the only one that lives in this mind and body, I would have to say YES. Humanity and society has become so wrapped up in definitions and labels that we are all walking around as statistics. One of the questions that I am constantly debating in my head is what is right and wrong and who determines such things? I can easily describe myself to people (it would probably take a really long time too) and say that I am open-minded (for the most part), extremely compassionate and em pathetic, eager, sensitive, nervous, anxious, emotional…the list goes on and on. When we hear the words nervous and anxious there is always a negative connotation behind them. Don’t get me wrong, they are not necessarily pleasant feelings/emotions but what really makes them negative. If we did not experience these types of feelings we would be unable to realize what true happiness is or what real excitement feels like.

Fairly recently I was seeing a counselor. I had stormed on the internet and thought i had Bipolar disorder. After it was all said and done I realized that I was not being true to self. A lot of stuff that I had pushed far far back had resurfaced and I felt unsure of how to handle these feelings and thoughts (please take into account am looking into studying psychology). When I first started seeing this counselor so much stuff I never expected flooded out of me and for the first time I realized and acknowledged how I truly saw and felt about myself. It was quite disheartening. I was holding onto this self-doubting and self-loathing person. I was (and sometimes still am) unable to see myself as worthy and beautiful (in every sense of the word). I had been so wrapped up in letting other people/things define me that I really was unsure of who I was and what is truly important to me. So, as my counselling sessions continued I learned more and more about myself. I constantly debated between whether to listen to my head or my heart. I still don’t know in some cases which to listen to-I usually just go with whatever I feel in the moment. What I realised after time passed was that it was helpful to talk to someone and to get their input and feedback but no one was going to change the situation but me. I had to choose what I wanted to change. I have changed quite a bit as a person and the whole time it has been my own doing because I have come to learn more and more what is the most important to me. My self discovery is what brings me happiness. There might be certain things I do that others may feel are detrimental to my emotional well-being but it is me that has to discover those things. For example, I told my counsellor that the owner of the owner of the company i front desk thinks am a good person and we have become buddies. My counsellor told me that was nice but I could not look to others for approval. I had to approve myself. I do understand what she is saying but sometimes getting the approval of others is extremely helpful, especially when you are doubting yourself. It allows you to see that others really do think good things of you. Yes, again, I know that others do not define me but if you have people in your life that are important that you love very much, their opinions are important. I strive to make others happy in hopes that they would do the same for me if they felt I needed it. Life is about give and take.

So, returning to the question of whether or not I am emotionally/mentally healthy, I would have to say overall yes I am. I am human and I have break downs and I feel like the world is caving in on me sometimes but that is what makes me who I am. I am not always able to express myself to people or say what is on my mind but that is also a part of who I am. I am starting to see that yes this may not always be a good thing because I should stand up for myself but I love the fact that I care enough about others that I want to avoid hurting people’s feelings. Life is a balancing act and the only moment we have is now. It is one of the hardest things to do but I am learning that in order to find your bliss, you must accept yourself for exactly who and how you are. Love this person. Choose nothing but love even if it feels impossible. Tell yourself that even though you may be hurting and you may not be feeling the best about yourself that this is you in the moment and that is who you are meant to be in the moment. Who you are will never change but you can always change your life circumstance. It is all about accepting the Now!

Are you?