Have you ever had a phone conversation with a guy you have never met, but whose voice you just can’t do without last thing at night and first thing in the morning? You simply cannot get enough of it. Everything about his voice is fascinating and just so entrancing. Have you ever had a man with that kind of voice talk to you? I have and I still crave it.

Is it not simply amazing when you see a man who is as fine as fine could ever get. You can almost see the packs through is lightly lined shirt. His pants are well arranged you can almost imagine what is filled in. He has that Close-up smile. His hair is cut low and neat like a groom. He looks darn good, and he knows it too (because of the way he carries himself). The day you see him, he looks like he is wearing his best outfit. He looks so good that you have in a moment forgotten yourself in the process of watching him.

My God, he is scrumptious; everything about him betrays his opulence. He walks the walk, but does he talk the talk? Certainly, a man like this must have that captivating voice, right? You approach him and you say –how do you do? He looks at you, smiles that expensive smile, and says, “I do good o.” Not wanting to believe your ears, you ask him, “What did you say?” With confidence and a million dollar smile, he repeats, “I do good o.” But how could such an epitome of excellent appearance respond like that? Surely, it must not have been him. Unfortunately, it was indeed him. Apparently, a person’s looks can be pillars apart from the words that exit his mouth. Not wanting to believe he is as dumb as he sounds, you continue the conversation, hoping it will get better. Did he just say I like yellow girls? Yes. Did he just ask you if you stay in gidi or Lagos? Yes. And did you try to chase him by saying you are hermaphrodite and he says “I don’t care about your religion”

And please do not tell me I am the only one who has experienced this. It feels a lot better when you see a guy who is forgettable. He looks like an average wale, nothing special. But the moment he opens his mouth, you calm you nerves down to be sure you understand his English and not just laughing at everything he says that’s his IQ. Who knew that English could make you tickle that much? When you see a charming man, the last thing you want is for him to sound like an Onitsha trader, throwing in at least one ‘nna men’ in every statement he makes. Of course, this problem does not discriminate against any gender. Men are just as susceptible to having the shocker of their lives.

As a man, you may see a woman whom you swear is a BETH model. Her beautiful Brazilian hair. Her skin is well toned; She’s got the high cheek bones, the hypnotizing eyes, the small waist, big hips, powerful ass, and of course, kissable lips and manageable phonetics. So you take her along with you as your date to a dinner you are sure your ex would attend. You need to show your ex that you have moved on, and are now with someone more beautiful. You make sure you are late so you can make that stunning entrance, women stare at your date; men gawk at her. In fact, you could swear you saw your ex, is rolling her eyes at her. Amongst the other women, your date looks like a rose in a field of green grass. Men seem to be quietly begging you to give them the gist – how did you win this chic over? You are the man. And yeah, you are all smiles and center of attention to add to it, she’s all smiles and talking and been to the gents like 2 times already and eyes follow her as she moves and instead of being jealous on the normal grounds you are happy and smiling, stealing glance at you ex to give her the look of I got the better one. Only winners can smile that type of smile. And you are a winner, right?

Dinner comes along. Your mouth drops open and hangs open for an uncalculated amount of time. Is that your date picking rice from the table and directly back to her mouth, the p-soup is making her drop catarrh like chinenye the pepper seller? Yes. Is she doing it with all the sound effects too? Yes. Is that your ex, laughing at your date? Yes. Did she just stain your white tuxedo shirt with soup? Yes. Did she just hit the bone on the ceramic plate to force out everything inside the bone? Yes. Are all eyes on you? Oh, yes. Thus goes the cycle of life: everyone is missing something. The good-looking man and sharp dresser do not have the voice. The man with the voice looks like a village headmaster. What is a girl to do? Of course can you remember the lagbaja video () it happens for real, girls carrying very big bag with everything and anything inside including toothbrush just in case they have to pass the night with bobo. Not having any expectation means not having to deal with any disappointment that is likely to follow through. I should say, however that I would rather hear a beautiful voice and be disappointed by the look than see a beautiful man and be disappointed by his voice. Somehow, it is easier to get over the look. As people begin to grow on you, they begin to look good. And it makes a lot of sense because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This explains why no one ever thinks that his or friend is not good-looking. But how does one begin to fall in love with a voice that is sure to send him/her to an early grave? Like seriously? So many out there just forming what they are not, in fact it becomes more annoying when the go to clubs and have to exchange words with you, its just a shame!


Kindly drop your views/comments..

by the way kindly say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend, mentor and brother @kneeyie